A bit of background. My boyfriend is a relatively new divorcée (within the past year). We live just outside of Atlanta. His ex-wife lives in the area as well. I recently joined an outdoor hiking group and love it. I grew up in Tampa, spent all my summers hiking up north, and then lost the chance to do that while living in Tampa as an adult. Problem is, his ex-wife also belongs to the same outdoor club. It's a large club - about 500 regular members as far as I can tell - and tons of events occurring at any one time.
Well today I was scheduled to go hiking up in N. Georgia. Trip got canceled at the last second due to poor weather, so I looked at the calendar and picked another event occurring nearby.
Damned if his ex-wife wasn't there. I hadn't ever met her before, but I knew of her, and knew what she looked like. I wasn't sure if she was aware of my existence or not, but either way I kept my mouth shut the entire hike. We eight hikers had a great time, I went home, told my bf of my surreal and trippy hike.
Fast forward two hours, when he gets a message from a friend of the ex-wife. Ex-wife is insisting he make me quit "her" hiking club. Guess she was aware of my existence after all.
So this afternoon, instead of spent hanging out with my lovely bf, was spent doing damage control.
I know this drama is a) ridiculous - she's 35 and having her friend telling her ex husband to make the new gf go away? really? and b) not my problem.
But I feel awful. Normally I'm very in touch with my feelings, but I can't even begin to define why I'm so stressed about this. I feel this bizarre combination of guilt, anger and hurt and can't figure out where it's all coming from. My man and I had dinner together but we were planning on spending the whole afternoon together working on a car project, so that got tossed.
And now I really would love his company and to be snuggled with him, but Mr. INTJ needed tonight to himself to process everything - and I completely understand and respect that - but this ESFP occasionally doesn't need to be alone with her thoughts. This is one of those occasions.
Can someone help me process this mental mess so I can look at tomorrow with my usual positive attitude??
Well today I was scheduled to go hiking up in N. Georgia. Trip got canceled at the last second due to poor weather, so I looked at the calendar and picked another event occurring nearby.
Damned if his ex-wife wasn't there. I hadn't ever met her before, but I knew of her, and knew what she looked like. I wasn't sure if she was aware of my existence or not, but either way I kept my mouth shut the entire hike. We eight hikers had a great time, I went home, told my bf of my surreal and trippy hike.
Fast forward two hours, when he gets a message from a friend of the ex-wife. Ex-wife is insisting he make me quit "her" hiking club. Guess she was aware of my existence after all.
So this afternoon, instead of spent hanging out with my lovely bf, was spent doing damage control.
I know this drama is a) ridiculous - she's 35 and having her friend telling her ex husband to make the new gf go away? really? and b) not my problem.
But I feel awful. Normally I'm very in touch with my feelings, but I can't even begin to define why I'm so stressed about this. I feel this bizarre combination of guilt, anger and hurt and can't figure out where it's all coming from. My man and I had dinner together but we were planning on spending the whole afternoon together working on a car project, so that got tossed.
And now I really would love his company and to be snuggled with him, but Mr. INTJ needed tonight to himself to process everything - and I completely understand and respect that - but this ESFP occasionally doesn't need to be alone with her thoughts. This is one of those occasions.
Can someone help me process this mental mess so I can look at tomorrow with my usual positive attitude??