[efh1108]

I really really like this enfj coworker and I figured that he did not like me and I accepted it untill I figured out that you enfjs act extremely different with people that you like compared to everyone else that you like. Is it true that it is typical of you guys to:

1. Completely ignore the person you like
2. Show up almost everywhere I go but not talk to them
3. Hardly say anything when their crush does talk to them and then talk in yes or no answers
4. plays with his hair constantly and never looks me in the eye
5. acts likes a complete goofball when we are in a big group of people and is constantly saying the stupidest things to be funny
6. Always flirts with this other girl to make me jealous
7. He also does this creepy thing where he wont take his eyes off me at all when we are in a meeting at work. which, by the way is an increbely bold move considering how tongue tide and at a lost for words he is when we are alone together.
8.he winks at me
9.finds excuses to touch my hair and wierd stuff
Is this typical for you guys or does he just not like me? He has no reason whatsoever at all for avoiding me because me being a good infj,I avoid him right back. I also dont think that he has any idea that i like him. I am also the only one at work that he is UNSURE that he can he can have so there is r
isk with me compared to the others. He is a catch and is used to having girls all over him. I am just so tired of driving myself crazy. So, I need an opinion from an enfj. do you think that he likes me or not. I just need to know if i should do something about it or what?

 

[Tongue Tied]

Nevermind...

 

[j3321]

I'm not an ENFJ but it strikes me as just general male/female interaction more than anything else. At least from what you've said so far.

 

[lastofsix]

I love someone who is an ISTP...My exact opposite. I act differently around him, but he also behaves differently around me. I make him into a chatty cathy and he makes me think more than I am comfortable. I am pretty sure we are both 8's too, so we tend to calm each other down, but generate a lot of intensity too.

In short, as my understanding goes, depending on the dynamic of the individuals, the flirtatious behaviors may change. For ENFJ's (IMO) blunt and honest are always welcome. I have a lot of respect for people who "just spill it straight" I will also gravitate toward people who call me on my ~stuff~.

Sometimes I think that ENFJs are Alpha types looking for Alpha partners...
But may be that is just me...

 

[Jojo]

I really really like this enfj coworker and I figured that he did not like me and I accepted it untill I figured out that you enfjs act extremely different with people that you like compared to everyone else that you like. Is it true that it is typical of you guys to:

1. Completely ignore the person you like
2. Show up almost everywhere I go but not talk to them
3. Hardly say anything when their crush does talk to them and then talk in yes or no answers
4. plays with his hair constantly and never looks me in the eye
5. acts likes a complete goofball when we are in a big group of people and is constantly saying the stupidest things to be funny
6. Always flirts with this other girl to make me jealous
7. He also does this creepy thing where he wont take his eyes off me at all when we are in a meeting at work. which, by the way is an increbely bold move considering how tongue tide and at a lost for words he is when we are alone together.
8.he winks at me
9.finds excuses to touch my hair and wierd stuff
Is this typical for you guys or does he just not like me? He has no reason whatsoever at all for avoiding me because me being a good infj,I avoid him right back. I also dont think that he has any idea that i like him. I am also the only one at work that he is UNSURE that he can he can have so there is r
isk with me compared to the others. He is a catch and is used to having girls all over him. I am just so tired of driving myself crazy. So, I need an opinion from an enfj. do you think that he likes me or not. I just need to know if i should do something about it or what?

1. kind of.. mainly just awkward
2. yup
3.Yes
4. Well that one no.... I am just lucky to have hair
5. Guilty
6. This is possible.. but warning this will most likely never stop! So you must be aware this will be a recurring issue most likely!
7. Eye contact is a big deal!
8. Hmm.. I thought it was just me.....
9. I divert from this one. At a work situation I will try very hard to avoid touching the opposite sex physically and also avoid any relationship talk at work. I am deeply fearful of getting hit with sexual harassment. That has been my downfall in some potential relationships as where I met them.

I will say typical overall. It sounds like he might like you. I am not going to to say don't approach him but rather caution that any relationship that begins at work could have nasty consequences. If you do approach him please realize the potential unemployment risk. Is this person worth losing a job over? I am saying be sure to not to regret the decision. This can ruin the the atmosphere with co-workers that feel that they may have to choose sides eventually.

 

[efh1108]

Thanks guys for replying. I like him so much and the way that he treats me was really starting to hurt my feelings that i debated about looking for a new job. however, the bhvr that hurts my feelings is you guy"s way of showing that you like me. if i didnt like him, it wouldnt hurt so much. skrew leavng my job, i am just going to ask and move on, but what are ways to do that w you guys? is there a way to do w o scaring you off too badly at least? what should i do? from the impression i get, i dont know if he will ever ask me out? am i correct?

 

[Jojo]

Last of six was correct. blunt and honest. I like transparency. I want the casual happy approach not fake. Come up to me calm cool collective. Ask to go grab a casual lunch then start talking. Keep it Simple. In the work situation he might not ask you out. you may just have to ask him out. Lunch is a good start.

 

[Optimus]

I really really like this enfj coworker and I figured that he did not like me and I accepted it untill I figured out that you enfjs act extremely different with people that you like compared to everyone else that you like. Is it true that it is typical of you guys to:

1. Completely ignore the person you like
2. Show up almost everywhere I go but not talk to them
3. Hardly say anything when their crush does talk to them and then talk in yes or no answers
4. plays with his hair constantly and never looks me in the eye
5. acts likes a complete goofball when we are in a big group of people and is constantly saying the stupidest things to be funny
6. Always flirts with this other girl to make me jealous
7. He also does this creepy thing where he wont take his eyes off me at all when we are in a meeting at work. which, by the way is an increbely bold move considering how tongue tide and at a lost for words he is when we are alone together.
8.he winks at me
9.finds excuses to touch my hair and wierd stuff
Is this typical for you guys or does he just not like me? He has no reason whatsoever at all for avoiding me because me being a good infj,I avoid him right back. I also dont think that he has any idea that i like him. I am also the only one at work that he is UNSURE that he can he can have so there is r
isk with me compared to the others. He is a catch and is used to having girls all over him. I am just so tired of driving myself crazy. So, I need an opinion from an enfj. do you think that he likes me or not. I just need to know if i should do something about it or what?

It really depends on how you are around him. With ENFJs, you'll never know. Thats the beauty of it.

I personally have a tendency to get real shy around the girl I actually like and end up getting with the other girl next to her instead (I need to channel all that energy to something if I can't get myself to channel it towards the one I actually like you know). Another problem is that I like any girls all too easily like I'm girl crazy. Girls are like chores I need to check off my list. Problem is, I have trouble committing. Once you find out I have a crush on you, some action, and then some, and then zoinggg I'm gone like the wind. I don't know if this is the same with other ENFJs but I think my tendency to jump around and unable to focus on one thing is due to my Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADD/ADHD).

I actually made a thread about ENFJs and ADHD because I'm starting to think its common for ENFJs to have ADHD. But I could be wrong but maybe we'll find out soon when people start posting on that thread.

 

[lastofsix]

I have been known to be really quiet around boys and girls I like. I will also avoid touching them because I enjoy touching too much. Some of descriptive I have read above are spot on, but I still believe that a lot of it can be tempered depending on the dynamic, and the level of direct honesty.

Jojo, I could not agree with you more...I find that it is easier for me (and possibly other ENFJs) to relax if we are placed in an intimate situation, in a social arena, and given a grounding distraction to ease the intensity (ie: food). I am also curious what this ENFJs Variant is? Mine is Sexual, so one-on-one is always best.


Forgive me for asking this, but I did not see whether or not he tested as ENFJ...Did he test as this type or does he fit the profile for you?