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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
How Do I woo an ISFJ as an ENFJ??? HELP ME

So I met her a couple months ago. We made fast friends by bonding over Sense8 and Korrasami and Harry Potter and etc.... We're both girls. We're both bi. She got out of a relationship a while back but isn't over that person, but she wants to be and tries to be and I probably won't ask her out or anything until I think she's absolutely ready for a new relationship (but that's no reason not to lay foundation for that Big Day when I ask her out).

I'm an ENFJ and my life mission has become to make her laugh and I always respect her schooling/ambition and I accidentally said "i loved her" and then said "the fuq" and then when she said she was disappointed at how anti-climatic saying "I love you" was so I wrote her a overly cheesy romantic poem (in two minutes flat) with her name spelled into it and she laughed really hard but I'm not sure it was "haha, that's cute" or "haha, I'm wooed by you". She makes me smile like a massive dork whenever she even texts me and I feel like a friggin preschooler when I talk to her because my maturity level drops negative thirty points. I'm an idiot and she's out of my league, and still into another girl, and argh! Idk. Help me you beautiful ISFJ mermaids.

How do you like to be wooed? What annoys you about people trying to woo you? Are you sick of me using the word 'woo' or just confused at it's meaning? What can I do to woo her heart? Have you dated ENFJs/had ENFJs crush on you? What went wrong/right? How can I avoid screwing this up? i know i should be scared about losing her friendship - and I am - but what scares me more is the idea of her and I missing something awesome...that and the idea of her being with someone else is...just no.

BTW She's beautiful. Seriously. Like, I'm on a subway and can't stop staring because I wasn't aware angels took public transportation beautiful and I can't describe how out of my league she is but still.... woo advice. Go!
 

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How do you like to be wooed?
I was last wooed by a good "friend" turning up at the office i work in with my late birthday present of a mug that says "not your average grandma" (im 24), a block of chocolate (on a diet) and a card with lovely words.

Those things are odd sounding, but the whole turning up, suprise things, and just getting to see his face was all a bit woooey.

I haven't spent much time being wooed. So i am not sure of other ways that woo. But i suspect anything well thought out, with effort put in helps.

What annoys you about people trying to woo you?

People i do not return the feelings for attempting to woo me is unplesant as it forces you to friendzone, or have the friends only conversation

Are you sick of me using the word 'woo' or just confused at it's meaning?
I love the word woo, it is woonderful. In this setting i would say it means "show someone how special they are to you". If interpretarion is incorrect sorry.

What can I do to woo her heart?
For me to be wooed of the heart rather than weirded out i need the feelings to be acted out in a non threatening way. What do i mean by non threatening? Things need to happen at a pace i can keep up with and process.

Look after me by cooking dinner when i am sick, enjoy the company of my closest friends all the little things build up and my heart will be yours.


Have you dated ENFJs/had ENFJs crush on you? What went wrong/right?
Nope, sorry i have nothing for these questions.

How can I avoid screwing this up?
Be honest and open, communicate and show how you feel.


i know i should be scared about losing her friendship - and I am - but what scares me more is the idea of her and I missing something awesome...that and the idea of her being with someone else is...just no.
Seeing someone you love dating someone else is a weird kind of hell. You want them to be happy, you wish it was with you and you do not want to be the one to break up the relationship. Being just friends with someone you have liked in a more than friend way for a while can complicate the friendship long term.

Hope my response helps.
 

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1. Slow and steady wins the race. Make it known to me that you are interested in me and be respectful, while persistent.

2. No means no. If the person is not clear they are wooing me. Be honest and upfront about it. Too fast and aggressive is no bueno.

3. Merriam-Webster Online was helpful.

4. Woo her by doing things you know she likes. Show her that you're there for her. Patience to process things at her own speed.

5. Never dated an ENFJ before, but I'm good friends with one. They are sometimes a bit blunt...make sure that you pay attention to how you word things, especially when it's a form of criticism. ISFJs are rather squishy.

6. If you like her that much, the best thing to do is to go for it. Yes, your friendship might be jeopardized, but at the same time, something awesome might come out of it. Even if it doesn't work out in your favor, if you two are both mature enough, your friendship may just become deeper as a result.

Best of luck to you~
 
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