Sorry to hear about you losing your wife *hugs*.
Yeah I lost my dad 13 weeks ago, and I am starting to feel less and less "E". I am acting like an "I" alot these days. But I hope this is just a season and that my usual bouncy ENFJ self will resurface and stay.
I am certain that it will. According to Beebe, it is perfectly normal for people to progress deeper into their cognitive functions when under stress.
For the ENFJ, this means when we are depressed or under moderate pressure, we become much more like INFJs. If we get under very high pressure, we slip into ESTP mode where we are large an in charge. When we reach our limit, we become ISTPs, calm cool, practical and efficient. But, keep in mind that it is a stress mode, and it will reset itself when you eventually release yourself from the stress.
There is also a theory that when we embrace darker emotions (not quite the same as stress) like depression, anger, selfishness, each type becomes like it's inverse. For ENFJs, that means we can become a lot like the dark side of INFPs... very focused on our own feelings, less able to care about others, and plagued by anxiety and possibilities. If this is happening, just remember that this too is just a temporary reaction to your circumstances.
In other words, I'm very sorry for your loss, but your feelings, reactions, and everything you are going through is normal and healthy - even though it is at times excruciating. You will heal, and you will be yourself again, and you'll be a little more well developed as a person for it.