So i like this girl, but i don't know if she likes me, and she might end up going with another guy, and i don't want to do anything because am not sure and i don't want to embarrass myself. but i cry inside are when am able. i don't know what to do someone help me. :crying:
I need some support here am so confused.
[INFP]
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I would tell her how you feel and ask if she'd like to go for coffee or something. You never know what she might say. I think the embarrassment you might feel if it doesn't work out will last for a lot less time than the regret you will feel if you never give it a try.
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If this keeps happening, eventually you will learn not to just let them go like that. I say do nothing, and realize that made you feel like crap. Then just think back to how crappy you felt when you didn't pursue the next time you are in this position and lacking confidence.
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Go for it bro. If it's nothing then that's just what it is nothing. You have to take risk sometimes, and if you like it's worth the risk. In the end if it doesn't go how you want it to go at least you gambled on happiness instead of giving in to fear. You might regret it if you don't and that's much worse.
well my friend, just think back to the beginning . what have you done for her-or rather for you both- that will surely give you the title of occupying that special place we(well, you in this case) want? If you see that you have nothing, you have 3 options. starting today, not doing it, or stopping and realizing that maybe most of this is just pure fantasy. But if you really want it, do it.If she wants something, she will come back.
I don't know maybe i should let things be, i don't think i can make her happy, even though we share interests, band, clarinets, mmorpgs, cello, and other things she is more extravert and 2 years older than me, and she's help me sometimes and i help her sometimes, and am just hopeless...:sad: oh well
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Don't give up! She might end up going with another guy, but you can still be her friend. As long as you're friends, you still have a chance. But you should definitely tell her how you feel, eventually. If you can just "be friends," then that takes the pressure off, and you guys can just do stuff and enjoy each other's company without feeling so nervous. If you want it to be more than that, it's better to tell her right away. Much better than regret.
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Every disadvantage can be an advantage
How about almost approaching it as if you were an actor playing the role of an intp. Just flip the f with a t. Think through it. Decide what worse case scenario you are willing or able to accept.
Ask her out. As if it was you playing a character in a play asking out another character in the play. Using humor is always good.
What is the worse thing that can happen? Decide if you are willing to accept it. She says no. It is ultra embarrassing. She laughs right in your face. etc. etc.
It's hard to hear but sack up or move on.
Good luck bro!
How about almost approaching it as if you were an actor playing the role of an intp. Just flip the f with a t. Think through it. Decide what worse case scenario you are willing or able to accept.
Ask her out. As if it was you playing a character in a play asking out another character in the play. Using humor is always good.
What is the worse thing that can happen? Decide if you are willing to accept it. She says no. It is ultra embarrassing. She laughs right in your face. etc. etc.
It's hard to hear but sack up or move on.
Good luck bro!
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1,025 Posts
Ok, I'm just going to say straight up that your victim attitude is putting me off. It sounds like you've already given up.
If you're friends, there is NO WAY that she would say no to a date. Not one. You ask her and she'd go, even if she doesn't perceive it as romantic for whatever reason. You would have a good time, and there's a chance she feels the same way about you. You can't read her emotions, and guessing at them and then acting on your guess is stupid.
If you're friends, there is NO WAY that she would say no to a date. Not one. You ask her and she'd go, even if she doesn't perceive it as romantic for whatever reason. You would have a good time, and there's a chance she feels the same way about you. You can't read her emotions, and guessing at them and then acting on your guess is stupid.
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better to be turned down than never know if it could have been.
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NO! Don't tell her how you feel.
When you feel as afraid as you do, you have to just go for broke and ask her out. Its a "take the first step and the staircase will reveal itself to you" kind of deal. Think of it as an experiment in stead of some super important event in your life. Have an attitude of "I'm going to ask her out..just to see what happens. Whatever she says--it's going to be interesting."
I would have to agree with cappuccinocool in the sense that if you do choose to ask her out, it is useful to go into it knowing exactly what you want out of it. If you know, then you will be in a better position to make it yours. If you go in thinking all will be righted simply by making your feelings known, you may find you don't get what you want, as what you will have done is asked her to help you ask her out. Romance does not do well in such a situation, for either of you. If you are conflicted as to what to do, then your desire is to be helped. If you are able to really look this in the eye and grasp simultaneously your desire for her to help you and the impossibility and counter-productivity of this, the desire to be helped can be tamed and obviated, and perhaps your resolve will strengthen. In any case, you will feel a sense of resolution, which you have already stated as the goal. When they say, to love, you must love yourself first, this is one very clear instance of this. You will be unable to win love by trying to get it. If you are searching around for it, it will appear no where, for you can only have by giving. If your desire is for her well-being and flourishing, perhaps your offering will be accepted. If not, that is her choice. If it was a good gift, the rejection is not of you, but only of what she has made of you. Two very different things. Know your heart, its fullness and effulgence. You are of infinite inner wealth.
Normally I'm all gung-ho about people "going" for the girl, but I can't recommend it.. yet.
I assume you guys are in high school? She's 2 years older than you which can be quite a difference in high school or lower, socially. If YOU were 2 years older then it's a possibility. Funny how that works, eh? You also go on to say she's extroverted while you're pretty clearly introverted. While that's not a biggie later in life, that combined with age/experience likely means she's a lot more emotionally stable and "mature".
Right now you come off as someone who needs somebody to grow with (similar age / place in life) rather than chase after someone on a higher branch than you. If you go with it, all the power to you though.
I assume you guys are in high school? She's 2 years older than you which can be quite a difference in high school or lower, socially. If YOU were 2 years older then it's a possibility. Funny how that works, eh? You also go on to say she's extroverted while you're pretty clearly introverted. While that's not a biggie later in life, that combined with age/experience likely means she's a lot more emotionally stable and "mature".
Right now you come off as someone who needs somebody to grow with (similar age / place in life) rather than chase after someone on a higher branch than you. If you go with it, all the power to you though.
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