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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Not a particularly nice thing to do, I realise...

I'll give you the back story, this lady (I'd never met) went on a date with, lets call him chris, he asked her out afterwards and she said no. A month later I went on a date with him having been his friend for a few years, a date that turned into a 3 and a half year relationship!

A year in, we went to a friends birthday party, she was there and we met - I introduced myself and was with chris at the time - she seemed lovely. 10 minutes later she took him to one side and told him seeing him with a girl made her "want him" and if he wanted some fun he should call her.

One year later chris went to a leaving party for a friend, I was working and couldn't come, but she was there. Two weeks later several hundered pictures of her sitting on his lap, cuddling him - him looking decidedly awkward - even a video of him pushing her away, appeared on facebook.

A month after that I bumped into her, and I was nice but said that the pictures had bothered me a bit, she said sorry. She then emailed him that evening saying that she "needed to see him" ,she wanted to go out with him now, she only goes for attached men cause it's her "thing" and a lot of um..sexy stuff. Which he showed me.

She continued to send him emails, and texts.. He started texting back.

A little while ago, he met up with her and went on a date - whilst we were together. They kissed. When I found out, I dumped him.

He had sex with her, said it was "disapointing" and a month after we broke up, and ever since - has been trying to get back together. (It's not gonna happen btw)

She boasted to a mutual friend that she had "got him" and has now moved on to the next whateveer.. - this lady has slept with over 50 men, I'm sure plenty had girlfriends.

I have to go to a party in a few days and I have a feeling she'll be there :/ I feel like she thoroughly deserves a good telling off, but I have no idea what to say...if anything....
:( anyone any suggestions? Thank you

*Also, I know that the relationship problems were entirely my ex's fault - that's why I'm not with him! :) but she was so persistent for such a long time, and makes a big point of going for attached guys that I feel pretty annoyed at her! :S
 

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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
I should add as well, that these incidents listed above were quite literally - the ONLY arguments we ever had in the relationship! we were very happy otherwise :/
 

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Do you just want one liners like "There's something that's always bugged me about you: How can a person have sex with so many guys but still be a bad lay?"

The only other tip I could imagine is that I have a sneaky suspicion she'll be a drama queen when you confront her. In which case, being calm and emotionless after you get the fire started (probably by a snide insult) is probably the most annoying thing you could do.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Thanks @bellisaurius :) I know it's not the nicest thing to do!
But I am so very p***ed off at the way I was made to feel about it all, I became an emotional mess for a little while :( Obviously physical violence isn't my style, but any one liners or proven techniques to bother someone like this (if anyones had experience of a similar kind) would be greatly appreciated to put in my just-in-case arsenal. I just don't want to get caught out by the situation!
 

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Ooooh exciting! My advice is to just to stay as calm as possible. Stick to what you know first-hand about her, don't throw out anything based on rumors. Be the one that walks away first.

Honestly I would have kicked her ass a long time ago.
 

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Couple of other choices. You could c-ck block her all night by talking up whatever guys she's talking to, and while doing this, ignoring her. Hell, all the flirting might make you feel better, the competition almost certainly will.

If you don't want drama at all, you could probably perform what we in the military called a dirty d-cking (well, the female equivalent) to her drink or something else.

Or, if it's been fairly recently when you were last cheated on, you could approach her in all sincerity and say "You know, on some level, I don;t think I should be telling you this because I hate you, but I couldn't keep it to myself: You need to go to the gynecologist. He must have been screwing some other chick too, and I got (insert disease)"- (be creative, but believable. I wouldn't use a deadly one, just an uncomfortable one) Practice it in the mirror though. Wrong kind of emotion and you'll get blown off.
 

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This is probably terrible advice so don't listen to me. One possible plan would be to humiliate her in such a way that she would have to leave, but still leave you looking "mostly" innocent. A bowl of macaroni and cheese "accidentally" gets dumped on her clothes? A sneaky accomplice to place a "stained" piece of TP on the back of her pants?

Really though, short of punching her lights out or humiliating her, you'd have to rely on your ability to one-up her once the verbal sparring begins. Or you could just go Dexter on her ass.

Unless somebody out there knows a perfect shut-down line to end all shut-down lines?
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Cheers for the advice! :)
I can do calm pretty well and I'll definately try my best to not loose my cool!
Yeah, you're right - I have no idea why I haven't kicked her ass already haha :p
It's crazy, I've never encountered anyone who makes a sport out of getting attached guys..and openly admits it! I just don't understand it, or her at all - and normally I can work out people fairly easily :) I've never had a go before, because I just don't know what to say that will actually be effective :/
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Also yes, alas twas only 3 months ago when this all happened! :) I am so happy for the advice, the sexually transmitted infection could indeed work haha :p
And I can one up with the best of them, but from what I can gather, she's not remotely rational! it'd be like arguing with a chimpanzee - she'd probably just throw shit at me and eat a banana :/
 
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All these suggestions lack finesse. Revenge is a dish best served cold. Think Cask of Amontillado.

A lot of times, it's worth it to just let things go or forget about them. When that's not possible (and I can relate as well), store it like a little nugget in your mind; crystallize it, drive out the emotion, and make it a task to accomplish later when you're more coolheaded.

A confrontation at a party is probably a bad idea. Both of you will likely lose your cools. She will see you coming. Don't forget that if she knows you're coming, she'll be thinking ahead about how do embarass you as well; she'll likely say something snarky and provocative, something along the lines of "How's your boyfriend doing" or maybe even insinuate that you weren't satisfying your ex's sexual needs.

Thus, it'll probably be a good idea to avoid the party altogether. Think about ways to get back at her, in some way that really hurts and when she doesn't have her defenses up.

If that's not possible, like you have to go to this party, another route is to prepare with you what she's written to your boyfriend. Anything that's really embarassing; the juicy, slutty stuff. That way, if she attacks, you whip it out and just start reading. She can either try to deny it but people will see through it because she won't be prepared beforehand to lie. She can also say, "So what?", which makes her look like a slut. Either way, you win. But be prepared for possible violence.
 

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Also yes, alas twas only 3 months ago when this all happened! :) I am so happy for the advice, the sexually transmitted infection could indeed work haha :p
And I can one up with the best of them, but from what I can gather, she's not remotely rational! it'd be like arguing with a chimpanzee - she'd probably just throw shit at me and eat a banana :/
Lol that makes winning so much easier! I'm surprised no body has put her in her place yet, unless she is just ridiculously relentless with her stupid games.
Seriously, one time this chic tried to pull the STD card on me because I was talking to her ex. Real cute.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Ahh, I wish I could leave it :/ but sadly I do have to go to this party, I agreed so long ago. And I have let it go in the past, gone "can't blame a girl for trying.." more than once and I kicked myself for it all those times :S
The need to go for attached men, to me, would indicate insecurity and a need for validation in regards to her appearence - I dunno, maybe she was bullied by girls or something?!
 

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Bring documentation? Sounds like you've got a paper-trail on this ho. Especially the bit about her being a bad lay - I'm guess she gets off on being 'better' than the women whose men she steals.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Bring documentation? Sounds like you've got a paper-trail on this ho. Especially the bit about her being a bad lay - I'm guess she gets off on being 'better' than the women whose men she steals.
Haha, I do have quite a portfolio against her I suppose, and nothing can shock me since me and my ex get on fairly well and I already know all the supposedly "hurtful" stuff she could throw my way.
Yes maybe "better" - I resent that notion thoroughly and will argue it to the grave, but that could have been her motivation.
I don't get into many arguments at all outside the realms of "friendly banter" and on the rare occasions I do, I can normally pick apart a persons weaknesses with ease, but will telling her she's a slag etc.. actually offend her, surely she expects it?

I would like to just forget about it, very much! but on this occasion, I really can't it go! It's bothered me to some extent for nearly 3 years...
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
*shudder* tried that already haha! It didn't seem to work :/ she sent him an email only hours later!
I like having an INTP's point of view though! my little sister is INTP and my goodness, I would not f**k with her.. :p
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
Thank god for that haha! Too often my sisters been mad when I've pinched her dress/socks etc, gone upstairs to presumably plot a vicious revenge in a darkened room, fallen asleep and forgotten about it...
:D
 
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I would ignore her - and be really obvious about it (when someone mentions her, pretend you don't see anyone sitting there - act really confused), and then when she or someone questions it, quite calmly and clearly tell the whole room 'a story about a slut'. Make it obvious the story is about her, but don't mention her - refuse to acknowledge her. Tell the room everything you know. Be mock sympathetic about how messed up and/or possibly dead from drug abuse (because 'eventually she's going to get bored of stealing boyfriends') she will be in a few years. Act like you don't care. Pretend you think it's hilarious. And then smile and change the subject like it's no big deal.

She'll be humiliated, everyone will know what a cow she is, and you will look really cool and level-headed and gain the respect of everyone ;D. Also, no one will mess with you again. It's a win-win.
 

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I would ignore her - and be really obvious about it (when someone mentions her, pretend you don't see anyone sitting there - act really confused), and then when she or someone questions it, quite calmly and clearly tell the whole room 'a story about a slut'. Make it obvious the story is about her, but don't mention her - refuse to acknowledge her. Tell the room everything you know. Be mock sympathetic about how messed up and/or possibly dead from drug abuse (because 'eventually she's going to get bored of stealing boyfriends') she will be in a few years. Act like you don't care. Pretend you think it's hilarious. And then smile and change the subject like it's no big deal.

She'll be humiliated, everyone will know what a cow she is, and you will look really cool and level-headed and gain the respect of everyone ;D. Also, no one will mess with you again. It's a win-win.
Agreed. Go for destroying her social life as casually as possible. If it takes years, so much the better.

Or just really let it go. If she's done this before, there's probably nothing you can do to change her. Sometimes the best way to get back at them is to not let it get to you. Or act like it doesn't bother you in front of her. Not as much fun as a slow drawn out revenge, but at least this way you don't have to worry about losing interest in it later on. :wink:
 
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