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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So my boyfriends roommate sent me this message via Facebook, we've never met or spoke before. They are both in the marine corps...


"Hey I think you should know this........


Your fucking lame ass perverted boyfriend is not what you think he is. My wife and I were going out of our way to clean up his room before he came back to the house after being in the field. Found some snack wrappers of ours under the bed. Well I got suspicious of what else he has possibly taken from us behind our backs. Much to my surprise that cock sucker had a bag full of my wifes fucking panties. I confronted him about it and he admitted to stealing them from our dresser. Lose that pervert pedifile."


My response:

"Well you know quite honestly I'm not too sure what to think about this. But I know first hand there are 3 sides to the truth, yours, mine and the actually truth. I'll talk to him about it and try to make sense out of this... If you are in fact correct about this situation... thank you for having the decency to inform me, not many people would do that.

When did you confront him about this? I still havent talked to him yet, but I'd like to know if hes avoiding me, incase he had an idea you'd send this message... "

His roommate:

"I confronted him about this about an hour or 2 before I sent you this message. I about kicked his ass when we found these. I asked him why he did this and he said he is a "Klepto". That didnt settle well with me cuz this whole time hes been stealing my wifes panties and hes been sleeping next to my daughter. He is gonna get delt with today through the Marine Corps. Ive run this situation up the chain of command and they arent happy at all. Your bf is a scum bag! "

My response:

"I'm sorry I'm in a state of shock right now, I don't know how to feel, or what to think. This is on so many levels of bullshit and fucked up on his part, I dont know where to begin... I still havent been able to get a hold of him. I sent him two texts that i needed to talk to him right damnit now, and a voicemail to call me back as soon as he got it. But if he is dealing with ya'lls chain of command or whatever... I can see why he'd be too busy to talk to me. But what I dont understand is why he makes excuses that he doesn't have time to talk to me, yet he can go around being a fucking underwear bandit. I'm so pissed! You probably dont know anything about me, but let it be known i am a very straight forward person, and I will confront his ass about this... this is not gonna slide by!

Thanks for informing me, as I said earlier... I don't know how many people would do that... or consider me at all. I'm sorry this situation happened to you... "

His roommate:

"Your very welcome. Im about to go on base and give them mine and my wifes written statement. Im not gonna lie, I hope they take every piece of rank he has on his collar. By the way when I was at his room and confronted him, I informed him that I was gonna tell you about this. "

My response:

"Well thanks for adding the last tidbit, good to know.. I'm gonna stay out of this, because I don't really want to be involved if this goes under investigation. Plus I emotionally need to deal with this on my own, and for now I'd like to stay emotionally neutral until this whole situation plays out... "

His roommate:

"Ok thats cool. I still think you should leave him. U dont need to be with someone like that. "

My response:

"Definitely not a character trait I look for in guys... "

His roommate:

"Who does?? Seriously."

My response:

"I don't know... I'm still in shock... I'm not calling you a liar, but I hope to God you are (no offense). I dont want to even think that the person I'm in love with would do this... But truthfully either way, this situation is fucked. Either he has some deep psychological issues to do that, or you have some deep psychological issues to make crazy ass shit up like this. I've had enough crazy shit in my life man, but this is definitely one of the most unique situations I've been in..

I dont know why anyone would make this up, and I honestly cant see for the life of me why HE would do this. So between having you reach out to me, and we've never talked before... that strikes me as "wow he must be seriously pissed and concerned". And then Taylor doesnt strike as that kind of PERSON by any means. I'm tongue tied and confused as hell right now. And I really wish there was some manual on how to handle this shit.... "



I don't see my BOYFRIEND ever doing that... and Why WOULD someone do that?!?! Why would anyone lie about this, or make this up... opinions please!!!
 

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and Why WOULD someone do that?!?!
Need you ask? I'll guess it has something to do with:

* Doin' the Han Solo
* Helping put Mr. Kleenex's kids through college
* Liquidating the inventory
* Pat the Robertson
* Playing solitaire
* Relishing the hot dog
* Summoning the genie
* Taking matters into your own hands
* Varnishing the banister

He might just have a history of deriving sexual pleasure from women's underwear. I'll admit that the site of panties makes my blood pressure rise a bit, but it never tempted me enough to steal them and jerk off. Why he is using his roomates wifes and not yours though is a different matter.
 

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Iron Fist
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DO talk to him first before coming to any conclusion.
 

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What the hells he doing living with a married couple and sleeping beside their daughter in the first place?
 
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A good way to find out if it is true is to some how go through the military, if he said he brought it up through the chain of command that means you could possibly validate his claims somehow. I don't know how you would but its an idea. Also something to keep in mind....I imagine it is pretty embarrassing for that guy who contacted you, I doubt its just a joke, it is either him having a huge agenda against your BF or it really happened to go to that lengths of embarrassment of telling people someone was using his wife's panties for those purposes.

Agreed with Starri though, try and control your emotions and grasp onto what is real, your emotions are high and they may cloud your judgment so try and be aware and calm down. I know that is FAR easier said then done because your emotions are all over the place but you have to try or you may make a mistake.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Yeah I am trying to be as level headed as I can. I still want to hear his side of it, I am trying to remain as neutral as I can to this situation. It is possible if this does become an investigation I could be brought into it... which btw, I DONT WANT TO BE INVOLVED... There are ways to know... I just wish he'd talk to me. This isnt helping me not have any preexisting beliefs.
 

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MOTM May 2011
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There is no advice to give outside of waiting until you have all of the facts before jumping to conclusions. You don't need more opinions--you need the truth. Keep an open mind until you get it.

And know that regardless of the outcome, this is going to hurt.:sad:
 

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I think there's something else that happened.

I'm just wondering why he even though of you and take the time to tell you all this,
like you said you never spoken. It's like he want's mess up his roommate's life.

+ as an adult why would they go and clean up his room? (I personaly would be pissed)
and if I was your BF I wouldn't leave any evidence like that in the room if I knew
that I was gonna be away for long.
The other thing, could his wife have put them there? some people are strange...

So maybe he did have panties hidden, it's not the first time I heard that.
Like everyone's saying wait to hear his version.
Just be comfortable with your decision.

good luck SeekJess!
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
I think there's something else that happened.

I'm just wondering why he even though of you and take the time to tell you all this,
like you said you never spoken. It's like he want's mess up his roommate's life.

+ as an adult why would they go and clean up his room? (I personaly would be pissed)
and if I was your BF I wouldn't leave any evidence like that in the room if I knew
that I was gonna be away for long.
The other thing, could his wife have put them there? some people are strange...

So maybe he did have panties hidden, it's not the first time I heard that.
Like everyone's saying wait to hear his version.
Just be comfortable with your decision.

good luck SeekJess!
thanks... that was actually my first response too... I thought he was just retaliating against my BF in some weird fashion... and I am still waiting for his response. I cant get ahold of him for some odd reason. :( its driving me crazy! I just want to know his side...
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Well I have been trying to get ahold of him, and it is obvious he is ignoring me... Idk what to do... I dont want to just assume its over unless one of us says it.
 

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Well I would have handled this so so differently. It's very important that people open up to me. Especially my boyfriend. I would have sent a text to my boyfriend conveying a very strong message that I hadn't made any judgment against him. But I would have been honest about the roomate contacting me. I would have treated my boyfriend as "innocent" until proving guilty, even acting like the roommate was crazy. Or even say, "I don't understand why your creepy roomate wrote me this and I was offended that he told me before you did. What agenda does he have with you?"

Honestly, truth is important to me so I sort of know how to make sure people don't run away in shame or don't feel like they have a chance to explain themselves.

And be careful. The truth may be worse and he could be in a position of taking all the blame when there is more than one person involved. You know him better than I do. I really don't understand why a couple would take it upon themselves to clean up his room, unless they really were looking for something.

I think you should try communicating with him in a way that doesn't put him on the defensive. He's not going to want to open up that way.

I feel really bad for you. This must be so scary. Big, big *hugs*. Let us know what happens. I don't want you to feel alone.
 
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The fact your bfs house mate felt a need to contact the military and "report" something that was in my eyes a personal at-home matter makes me wonder if there is an ulterior motive involved. If it is true.... then your bf is obviously into some kind of fetish sexual interest.... which is not uncommon amongst guys per se...not suggesting this particular kind though... I mean daaamn! testosterone is some powerful stuff! He likes chicks and he likes to fap shock! So removing that side of it the fact he went into his house mates bedroom is no different to them going through his bedroom. Sure he stole an item from their room but if he was acting on some fetish fantasy then *shrugs*.... I'm sure it was nothing personal. Though the actual response from his house mate seemed quite angry and irrational and like he took it as something personal hence the reporting to military? His words could of been a little bit more considerate of your feelings as well.
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Military Law is a lot stricter than Civilian laws, you would be surprised by the things you cannot do as a Marine. Pink, the first text I ever sent him was like, "Hey your roommate sent me a really weird message, and I'd like to talk to you about it when you have time." And then I sent another text a couple of days later that said, "Look, Winner told me you stole Danas panties, I dont personally think you did... but can we please talk about this? This is driving me crazy!" Nothing... So I eventually got so frustrated I left him a message saying if he ignores me until Monday we're done... But IDK even know if he is reading them, I ammm sooooo frustrated. Someone told me to send him certified mail, so he would have to sign for it, lmao. Either way, him ignoring me is bullshit. I haven't talked to him sense Monday, and that was almost a week ago! I dont know how to assume that everything is over between us.. I like clarification, I like knowing what I did wrong and being able to move forward from it... and I'd like to be able to have a clear idea of what our relationship is at this point.
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
I left him a voicemail saying the we're done part... this whole thing is driving me fucking crazy, it is really effecting me.
 

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Jess, the military doesn't assign the same living quarters to a soldier who is living with his family and a single soldier. A family will have their own separate living quarters from everyone else. They're either trying to hurt your boyfriend or somebody is playing a nasty trick on you.

Are you sure he's avoiding you? Is it at all possible he's been tied up in something work related and hasn't been able to get in contact with you?
 
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Okay, I'm just going to mention straight out the possibility a few other people have hinted at. Remember, this is just what came to my mind without knowing anyone involved - it doesn't mean it's true. One scenario that explains everyone's behavior is that your bf was having an affair with the wife. The husband suspected it and searched the room. He confronted his wife with the panties, and she lied and said she had no idea how they got there. The husband is wanting to believe this, but is still suspicious and angry, and has now set out to destroy this guy's career and relationship with you. He lied about cleaning the room "to be helpful" (that really doesn't ring true) because he doesn't want to admit his suspicions.

I'm not saying this is what happened. It's a possible scenario. No matter what happened, It's likely your bf is embarrassed and ashamed and that is why he is avoiding you. I hope it all works out.
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
Jess, the military doesn't assign the same living quarters to a soldier who is living with his family and a single soldier. A family will have their own separate living quarters from everyone else. They're either trying to hurt your boyfriend or somebody is playing a nasty trick on you.

Are you sure he's avoiding you? Is it at all possible he's been tied up in something work related and hasn't been able to get in contact with you?
They rented a beach house together, he had permission to live off of base because of his rank. So there is no nasty trick, its not a joke. When we first got together he sent me a picture of his house cos he was so excited.
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
I don't think he slept with the wife. I think he is just a sex addict who has more problems than I can imagine, or care to deal with. And besides, I realized I wasn't exactly happy with him before this incident. I left him a voicemail today saying I can't be with him, because if I stay with him I'm condoning his behavior. And his behavior isn't acceptable, and I dont want it reflecting on my appearance anymore (because it does). I told him I cared about him, and I even though I hated to admit it, I still love him... And that I'd be his friend, and if he ever called me or needed me I'd be there. But I just cant be in a relationship with him. And if he ever wanted to tell me what really happened, he could, but I wasnt expecting it.
 
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