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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I like a very good looking ENFJ who is pretty much one of the most elligible bacholors in town. I just know that I am at least, maybe just a LITTLE different, than all the others. I am not that naive. We acknowledged our attraction and things are intense. He is my boss, so it is controversial. One of our co-workers was around in the same room while we were cuddling. I, by the way, know of no other personality type that can GET AWAY with cuddling w almost EVERYONE as much as you guys can. Anyway, in front of the coworker, he asked if "I had a crush on him or at least just a little." My jaw dropped open and I told him that he embaressed me the moment t coworker left. He said he was "just joking." I have a HUGE crush on him and I need to know what to do about it and what the hell did that mean? I was too caught off guard to answer. Should I tell him? Is that the ENFJ way of having "the talk" or could it have been a craving for ego stroking? which this guy can"t get enough of. Please please help and thanks so much in advance.
 

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There are several possibilities [but by no means are these the only possibilities]

- He could be playing you
- Could be "testing" to see how far he can go with you
- Could be seeing you as a potential romantic interest. Can't tell whether he's considering long term, or short-term fling

If his behaviour is making you uncomfortable in any way, have a talk with him and let him know that it's making you uncomfortable.

Generally when I have a crush on someone, I usually listen to her more and present my best sides to her. I don't openly seduce women [though that could be more of a cultural thing than ENFJ thing]. For me personally, it's a lot more subtle. I become the "model representation of all good things", but slowly slip in my weaknesses, flaws, failures etc just to let her know that I'm by no means "perfect".
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Thanks for your reply. I might post a new thread, but how do you tell an enfj that you are interested w/o creaping them out or messing up what you do or don"t have. I HAVE to move on either way.
 

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You are weak.

The reason he is playing with you right now is that he knows. He can feel your feelings mate.. He wants to put you in a situation where you will have to drop down your guards and confess. Be glad about it. The fact that he wants to put you in this situation reveals that he has interest in you. If he didn't he would not try to put you in the situation. You must turn this situation into a win-win situation. Don't be afraid. It might feel embarrasing to drop down your guards and confess but in fact that is the highest act and respect in life. It shows true confidence!

So you can choose the outcome yourself.

1. You drop down your guards and play along - confess slightly. Give him hints. Ask if he'd like to do something after work hours. If you get personal with him(arranging this personal relationship) - Then be patient and consistent. You can easily pull this one off.

2. You don't drop down your guards. You play cold and act like you have no feelings for him. - The outcome will be that he feels your intentions and feelings(The fact that you have a huge crush on him) but you are not confident enough to stand by your feelings. You are a coward who will go no-where in life because you are too afraid to ask for what you want.

I believe that male ENFJs are attracted to looks but even more attracted to personality.

You should be quite strong now.
Now that you know the reason for why he put you in that awkward situation. He was testing your abilities. Plus creating drama, tense feelings. All results in emotional bonding.

Btw. Another result was that he created this thing where you kind of have to pick side, you know?
Asking you in front of another co-worker "Do you have a crush on me?" gave you two options, either saying "No!? What? Are you kidding me?!" and turning to the co-worker and leaving the office.
But you have actualy done the right thing, you stayed with him and told him that you did not know what to do in the situation. That he caught you off guard. Well done ;)

Best of luck - You won't need it, just do it ;)
 
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