Personality Cafe banner

What enneagram type do you think I am?

  • 6

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • 9

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • other

    Votes: 0 0.0%
1 - 18 of 18 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
128 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hey. So I've posted here before, only to 'close' the thread because I thought I should instead read more in-depth.. The thing is, I'm afraid that only relying on myself would lead to self-delusion.. Does that sound sixish? Am I a six?
So I was like, darn. I'd better post here again.
I really need help, and that's because of the frantic obsessive compulsion to 'find myself'. Not exactly in a 4 way, as in to understand what is wrong with me, but more of like.. Knowing myself.
Thing is, I don't like seeing myself as a 6. I hate anxiety.. And I like trusting people. Do I? Yeah. But I do get suspicious at times.
I think this problem worsens because of my (most probably) 6 mom. She's extremely counter-phobic, can seem 8ish at times. I started to remember things when I was.. Hmm, 3 years old I think, and even then she was so anxious about everything and frightened me so much, so I don't really want to be a 6, you get? She is really controlling. Don't like something? Change it. Don't like someone? Change /them/. This makes me laugh because we have moved (house) for about 10 times in my lifetime. It was because of my mom, basically. She is really nitpicky and would flip from even the smallest things. And about changing people, as in trying to change how they think, feel and act, she really does that. It seems 1ish (?) even, being so perfectionistic. I think she's Choleric.. But that's out of the damn point.
I read about the childhood styles of the enneagram, and I think I was a rather neutral kid. Either neutral or reactive (was it called reactive? oh my, I have such a poor memory). My mom was really reactive/aggressive.. I relate a lot to the nine description, about feeling rejected when I try to get close.. But I relate to the 6's too. I also relate to 5's a lot, but I seem too flighty and light-hearted to be a 5 (to me). :frustrated:
Oh, and another thing, I don't really relate to the 6 descriptions. But this isn't saying much since I've read NF sixes don't see much of themselves in the descriptions. I've been lurking around for awhile and looking for threads to help me understand more of the authority problems 6s have. I'm not sure if I relate to it much, though.. Could someone help me with this point please, I'd be very happy to accept it.
About trusting people, I believe I am rather trusting. Trusting to a fault, even. And instead of being less trustful when I realize my mistakes like a 6 would, I would just withdraw for awhile.. Try to numb whatever I feel, then go out into the world again, as if nothing has happened. Of course, the experience would make me doubt people sometimes, but on the bigger scale, I'd trust them again.. I sound rather dumb, don't I?
I feel I'm most likely a 6 or a 9. I don't know..
Please help?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
128 Posts
Discussion Starter · #2 ·
Oh no.. How do I shift a thread? I posted it in the wrong place..
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,052 Posts
@SnowyReeNo

Maybe the most important thing is not finding your type, for the moment.

I have a question, but of course you don't have to answer.

I want to ask, to get you sharing more about yourself in a confident way, so I can hear your voice in writing, if that is possible -

What do you think knowing your type will give you?
What are you looking for in finding your type?

I want to hear you speaking confidently about yourself. Maybe talking from being anxious makes it difficult to describe what you are like.

But I hope you will feel comfortable to share your answers to the above question, or anything else you want to share.

First thing is to feel more comfortable with describing what you are like in person.

I am not a genius with the Enneagram! But I would like to help you if I can.

I hope you will not find me presumptuous in writing these things. I would like to share some of the journey with you, since I stumbled by your post :D
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,052 Posts
My MBTI is INFJ, and my Tritype with Enneagram is 146, subtype SX-SO.

I only found my Tritype recently, and I am open to changing what it is with more new information from myself or others.

Knowing my Enneagram has helped me make sense of some of my reactions to things.

For example, one means I unconsciously transform my anger into perfectionism, and subconsciously deny it.

I've had to learn to express my anger in more healthy ways.

Being an INFJ I do not see anger as a productive emotion, from experience, however the truth is that it can be.

Maybe I was expending a lot of energy just preventing myself from expressing my rage at experience in more healthy ways.

This is probably what has made me anxious with myself, in the past, without realising.

I do not know your story and I do not understand your perspective.

But I am genuinely interested to hear more of your voice. And I will help you if I can, if that is what you want.

Please feel no pressure to respond.

I would not doubt 6, and even maybe 9, would be in your Tritype.

But for now I just want to hear more about yourself. Because that is the most important thing anyway, to be yourself here and to feel like you can be :D
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
128 Posts
Discussion Starter · #5 · (Edited)
@Maker of helmets
Sharing about myself is really tough for me, since I am not very aware of myself, and to be honest I observe that I tend to be rather self-delusional. But perhaps you would be able to get a grasp of who I am not from my words but from my speech? No, I don't find you presumtous, haha. I really appreciate you trying to help. :)
Thanks for sharing, how very interesting. I see that a number of INFJs are 1s. I am an INFJ too. I'm not sure about my tritype, although I feel 469 kinda fits. I mistyped as a 4 before in the past, but maybe most NFs do. I do hope that I find my enneagram type and tritype soon, so I can understand my reactions to things more like you can from doing so.. :frustrating: I'm not sure of my instinctual variants though, with so much information online, I've learnt to not read much on something until I am sure the source is valid. This sounds extremely sixish?
You sound like a really nice person, and I'm really happy that you're being so kind and patient with me. I would very much appreciate your help, thank you. :)
About your questions, I think I may have a bit of a problem expressing/sharing about myself.. See, I have been reading on a lot of enneagram materials, and I believe I may be deluding myself into having certain personality traits which I do not have.. But I will try.

What do you think knowing your type will give you? What are you looking for in finding your type?
Hmm, I think it will give me a better understanding of myself and my motives.. In fact, this makes me question why I am so obsessed with finding my type. I remember trying, rather crazily, to find my MBTI type. I went through around 20 personality forum threads a day, reading about the MBTI cognitive functions.. That sense of relief when I found out I was an INFJ was so immense that I physically sighed. It was over. All the days of searching, over. Then my brain laughs , and says, nah. You're going to find something else to obsess over it. Then I discovered the Enneagram.

Oh and, I want to add that, if it is relevant in finding my type, that knowing more makes me feel superior compared to my peers. Maybe it's not a personality thing, but I read certain types like 5s and 4w5s may feel this way. This is certainly one of the reasons I heavily considered 5 as my enneagram once. Perhaps I have a 5 wing? I do not relate fully to type 5 motivations, although I don't exactly relate to any of the type's motivations.. Maybe I am not searching deeper into myself, but whenever I try to find myself and the reasons I do things, I kinda see.. Nothing. I feel really empty on the inside, as if I do not have an identity at all. Because of this, I feel kind of inferior to people who have such a strong sense of self, and to be honest, I envy them. I envy people who can express themselves freely in creative forms, because I can't express myself, since I do not feel like I have a sense of self in the first place. I feel really dejected now because of this. I feel kind of.. 'Baseless'? But then again maybe I am looking too much into finding myself..? Ugh, I'm so confused right now..
 
  • Like
Reactions: Maker of helmets

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,052 Posts
@SnowyReeNo

I feel like no-one has ever really given permission to be *no more than you are*.

I can relate with a lot of what you said. I remember feeling similar things in my experience.

For example, the satisfaction of seeing when I am better at others in at least one thing.

For now, I think it is most important for you to just start sharing some of your experiences on here.

I would like to ask some more questions, if that is alright :)

So take your time with answering. Also reply as long as you want. I can handle long text!!!!!!!!!!

Okay. Here are some question to get you started with talking even more about yourself :D

How do you feel that you relate with the society and culture around you?
What aspects of your society and culture do you enjoy?
Is there one way you feel that you are entirely different from your society and culture, or even just a little bit?

I think that is enough for now.

If you think in your head of some other random question you think you would like to answer, do that instead :D haha.

I just want to hear you talking a little bit more about yourself and gaining confidence to be yourself with me.

I really don't care about you finding your Tritype, but I would like to know from this encounter you have gained some comfort and also some confidence to use *YOUR* judgement to find yourself and help yourself.

I feel like no-one has ever really given you the confidence to exercise *YOUR* judgement on things.

This is negative because then we grasp for confidence in those abilities we have naturally, because we have no confidence in using our judgement independently for those things we really need and want.

Just think about it, when there is someone whose company and character you really enjoy, you will want to know you can use the initiative you need to use to show them you enjoy their company and would like to see them more :D
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,687 Posts
Will you describe for me your relationship to anger? Your relationship to fear?
How do you experience the following: Saying no to people? Insecurities? Happiness? Frustration? Knowing someone is wrong about something?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
128 Posts
Discussion Starter · #8 ·
@Maker of helmets

I think you're right.. Not many people gave me the choice to be /just me/. Of course, some tell me to 'be myself', but when I do be myself, I can almost feel them regretting telling me that.. Or maybe I'm just over-sensitive.. Hahaha..

I think that I have trouble understanding people at times. I suspect that I have some form of autism, but I haven't got it checked yet. Like, for example, if my mother told me not to do this, I would immediately (subconsciously) link that, I can't do something else too. My mother is really frustrated because of this, and I have no idea why I do this. It frustrates me too. She would tell me that we, as humans, need to continually improve on ourselves, and I'd (subconsciously) link that I can't be myself, I'm flawed and I should hide certain parts of myself to be 'accepted'.. This sounds like a rather image triad thing to do? I also feel like I'm rather concerned about how I look like to others.. Does this mean I'm in the image triad? Or do other types in other triads do this too?

Okay :) Thanks, you're really nice.

How do you feel that you relate with the society and culture around you?
What aspects of your society and culture do you enjoy?
Is there one way you feel that you are entirely different from your society and culture, or even just a little bit?


Ahh, society and culture.. The very thing I've been struggling with for awhile now. You see, I'm only 14 this year, and my parents are really 'tight' with me. That is, they expect me to follow our traditions and things.. I mean, I'm happy they do that, since it is a 'good' culture in my opinion.. However they can be very.. 'Stuffy'..? Man, I need to improve on my vocabulary.

I think that I don't really relate to the culture, and I have some difficulties accepting it. The society around me is a rather conventional one, you know, where people may be seen to others as 'old' and 'close-minded'. Yeah, I do respect it, but sometimes, I just wish my parents would understand that when I don't want to 'blindly' follow whatever they say, it doesn't mean I'm rebelling against them. Parents seem to think that teenagers rebel for the sake of it. Perhaps it is true sometimes, but they are really close-minded to me.. Sigh, now I /do/ sound like a teenager rebelling without a cause. Even though I am embarrassed by this, but I still very much wish that my parents would stop with the stereotyping.. For example, if you're this race, you would most likely act this way. If you're that race, you are the ones who brought the current generation 'down'.. It pains me to see their close-mindedness at times, and it pains me even more that my parents don't understand that I would talk to them respectfully if I didn't have anger management problems.. I want to respect them, but I have my own limitations too.. Maybe I'm not trying hard enough, though. I don't know. I don't know anymore.

I have to say, I do enjoy quite a number of things in my culture. It basically aims for a more peaceful world. This makes me really happy, since I'd rather we all be peaceful.. Doesn't everyone (Apparently not!)? I enjoy the fact that my culture believes that all of our problems are made by ourselves, and that if we solve our internal problems, our external problems would be solved immediately. This makes me feel that this culture is something rare, something not many people would consider. I do believe in my culture.

Hmm, thinking back now, there isn't much. I used to think that I was too different to fit into the culture, but now that I understand it more, I am more accepting of it. Although there are some things I do not really understand, but I bet that if I tried, I would. I try to avoid trying to understanding it now, and although I know I should, somehow the culture still gives me a very.. Conflicted feeling. Like, I've felt really ambivalent towards it in the past, and now I feel uncomfortable with it. I'm not sure if you've understood what I've said so far, and if you haven't, I'm really sorry. Sometimes I can't seem to communicate what is on my mind in a way that people can understand..
 
  • Like
Reactions: Maker of helmets

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,052 Posts
@SnowyReeNo

I followed EXACTLY everything you said.

I have recently been diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum.

I am autism spectrum disorder level 1 (Asperger's).

If you have any questions to me, feel free to ask them.

I would love to be able to help you further. With anything you would like to know about or talk about.

I wish there was someone more like me that could have helped me at your age.

I am 23 now, and just coming out of a long time where I did not feel that anyone would listen to me.

What has made the difference is someone I love reaching out to me.

I would like to be someone that reaches out to you, too, because I can easily see myself in everything you write.

Please do not feel imposed on, or like you need to change the way you write for me.

You speak perfectly clearly to me because my experiences match up with yours.

I would like you to have your confidence.

I am only just learning to regain the confidence I always need to exercise my judgement in my way.

No it is not a way that everyone will recognise. But you know what?

I do not need everyone to recognise my way of doing things.

Only the people that I want to! :D
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
128 Posts
Discussion Starter · #10 ·
@Maker of helmets

Blimey.. We're really alike.. And we're both INFJs.. Oh my, I think I might faint.

I don't know if this is appropriate, but can I give you a virtual hug? :unsure: I don't really have many people I can relate to, or people who can relate to me, and this makes me feel so happy, like I'm accepted on such a deep level, I really can't express it.

I'm really grateful that you took your time to help me try to, you know, be more confident to exercise my judgements. I am still trying to do so, though. I would love to ask more questions, maybe another time, because now my head feels foggy.. Thanks for being so kind, you really made my day. :blushed:
 
  • Like
Reactions: Maker of helmets

·
Registered
Joined
·
128 Posts
Discussion Starter · #11 ·
@justforthespark

Will you describe for me your relationship to anger? Your relationship to fear?
How do you experience the following: Saying no to people? Insecurities? Happiness? Frustration? Knowing someone is wrong about something?


To be honest, I'm not really aware of my feelings of irritation in the past.. Like, people had to say "Why are so angry?" for me to realize I have been gripping onto something to keep myself from bursting out. I have really bad anger management, and sometimes I would throw things.. Not in public, just at home. It's not something I like to talk about.. I get really mad like I could throw anything. I haven't hurt anyone except myself in these 'episodes' though. I'm really uncomfortable talking about this, but I've self-harmed because I was angry a few times. It makes me feel pain, and pain stops me from being angry. And I liked doing it. It felt good. I don't relate to people self-harming because they're sad, because when I'm sad I'd deny that I'm sad or try to rationalize what I feel and do something else. Or I would lock myself somewhere no one would go to and cry my eyes out. I know this is kinda OoT, but I cry a lot. Am I depressed? Maybe.

Fear.. I assume that you're not talking about phobias? Because if phobias are included I have an irrational fear of the colour black.. Hahaha. Nah, probably not phobias.
Like sixes, I fear fear. I try to rationalize my fear. I try to avoid it. I try to deny it, to suppress it. But it doesn't have to find a way to creep back. Because I know it's there. I'm a bad liar to myself. It always comes back. I try to, like sixes, do whatever I can to stop feeling fear. I try to get more resources. For example, in class, I sit at second last row. When people pass down the worksheets, and the person behind me doesn't have a paper, I don't give mine to them. I hate myself for it, but I do this so that I won't have to experience fear, which would come from going up to the teacher to ask for one more. It makes me feel anxious. I would feel very anxious when people stare at me when I go up to the teacher. So I do whatever I can to not feel it.
Sometimes, I would try to do/think of other things to avoid my fear. In the same situation, I would 'take myself out of the situation', and shut my mind off. Then I would go and take the paper, and give the person behind me mine. Then I wouldn't feel fear, because I would not feel anything.

Saying no to people is kind of difficult for me. I try to avoid it. Unless it's someone I do not respect or like, I would most likely try to help in some way. I try to think, if I were to go to someone for help, I would feel really sad if that person doesn't care. So I try to care, and look like I do. I don't know my true motives, though. Sigh.

I try to hide my insecurities as much as possible. I am insecure about myself, so I avoid talking to people, or they would find out. I don't want people to find out I'm insecure, or that I would like to have friends. I try to give a "don't mess with me" look, but my mother told me I just looked arrogant (I did not tell her I was insecure of course). I'm not sure how I look to other people, yet feel so concerned about it.. It makes me feel really annoyed, why can't I be like other people? They're so free, and do not need to 'monitor' themselves and others.. And although I find them really superficial, they seem to be having so much fun.. Sigh.

I feel really happy when people accept me. I fantasize of a world where when I express myself, everyone isn't really bothered by my personality. I dream of a world where everyone is accepted for who they are, yet are encouraged to improve on themselves for us to live in harmony. I really wish I didn't have such high standards for the world sometimes, and just 'fit in'.. But the term 'fit in' makes me want to puke, because I want to be original and not moulded into some 'normal' person.. And no, I don't consider myself normal. I think I relate to 4s because I feel inferior then superior to people. But then again, I may be deluding myself.

I get frustrated a lot. When people misunderstand me (although I secretly like it sometimes), when people doubt me (though I feel as if I know something they don't about myself), when people change things all of a sudden and I have to try to adapt to them (it makes me feel as if they're doing it on purpose to trigger me).. And as I've said above I have really bad anger management. If you frustrate me, I'm going to show you I am frustrated.

Knowing someone is wrong about something makes me want to laugh at them. Then it makes me so angry. Then I feel guilty about feeling angry, because we are all humans, and we all can be wrong at some things. If the guilt doesn't come fast enough, then I would feel really annoyed at them, and if they are someone close I would be bound to tell them. I have a bad thing with words, and they would mostly feel offended by me. That's when any form of guilt evaporates. I feel annoyed that they're annoyed by me, and that I am wasting my energy talking to them. Then I would use either strategy: fight or flight. If I don't find it important enough, I would just detach myself (if not physically, emotionally and mentally) from the situation and try to cool down. Or I will argue with them.. Hah, I'm rather reactive. Another thing I don't like about myself. Sigh.

I'm really sorry that I went OoT a lot of times, but some things are just connected to something else and.. Haha, this is why I suspected I had Ne as one of my main functions.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,052 Posts
@SnowyReeNo

Mate, I'll just hug you right back :D.

I want to ask, what do you do to centre yourself again? Music? Anything like that?

I centre myself with music. No-one else can call those shots for me. My music is my music *defiant*

Also I think it's about struggling for the space with others of feeling listened to.

Respond however you want to.

Please do not think I am expecting you to answer anything in particular.

I love being genuinely helpful with relating to you on these things.

So speak away, whenever you want, dear :D

Hugs, friend :D!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
128 Posts
Discussion Starter · #13 ·
@Maker of helmets

Oh, I used to center myself with music, too.. My parents aren't really accepting of the, what they call, "new generation's music", though, so I try not to get caught listening to music.. They did catch me listening to it a few times, since I'm also rather defiant about it too, but I try not to listen to it anymore because they're my parents, and I'd feel really guilty, and I hate feeling guilty, and I'd stop whatever to avoid myself from feeling guilty. There are urges, of course, since I believe music heals me, but well, I try to avoid it. Sigh.
Now I center myself with books.. No one can take me away from books.

Hugs! :happy:
 
  • Like
Reactions: Maker of helmets

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,052 Posts
@SnowyReeNo

I feel honoured that you would open yourself to sharing your interest with me here.

Thank you for honouring me with the answers to these questions.

I want you to realise how big of a thing it is you have shared your thought here.

You may feel tempted to think it is no big deal, maybe it came easily to you.

But in truth I believe you have made a lot of progress in this very short time.

Because whatever happens, it is not a simple thing to open yourself to being disappointed again by others' responses to you!

I honour your investment in sharing your thoughts here.

Thank you and I hope it gives you far more than you envisaged, coming on here and opening this thread.

You are worth listening to and I hope you will see that.

I think it is a shame you feel that you cannot listen to music as you want to.

But sometimes it is just one step at a time. I see how that is something you stop yourself from listening to because you want to honour your parents, and I respect that, too.

I am happy that at least you have your books. And you are right, no-one can take you from them.

You cannot imagine how much books have been friends to me when there was literally no-one else that would listen to my thoughts.

Then again, I think you *CAN* imagine that. Haha!

All the best, friend. You deserve it.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me here. I think you are in for one helluva ride with your life! :D Be excited.

Love x
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
128 Posts
Discussion Starter · #16 ·
@Maker of helmets

I really think it is an honour for me to have you care about me. It feels really nice being understood. :blushed:

Yeah, I really am happy to have opened this thread and to find something more than just advice on my type.. It's like wishing for a penny and finding a.. dime? I'm so sorry, I'm really bad at these things. :dry:

Aww, thank you, I don't think anyone have really wanted to listen to me rant so much. Thanks again for being so kind. :crying:

Yes, I can imagine that. In fact, books have been one of my escapes, and I'll always love my books. *hugs them*

Thank you. You deserve it too!

The pleasure is all mine. *is excited*

You're a deeeaaar. :)

Lots of love !
 
  • Like
Reactions: Maker of helmets
1 - 18 of 18 Posts
Top