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it sucks being so sensitive in relationships!

I have good self-esteem but when my ENTP says something like "It's a shame Karen Gillan shaved her head. She was the only redhead on Dr. Who and she had a beautiful head of hair" I all of sudden snap to attention to this "Karen Gillan" and notice stuff about her everywhere online and it constantly reminds me of that.

That's just a small example. My brain is so hypersensitive and remembers every insult, put down, pang of jealousy, etc ever.

Anyone else feel like this?
 

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Of course :) I hope it's not just NF's. I hope there is others that aren't NF's that feel this way too. I think it's a normal reaction to guilt, anger, sadness, etc.
I do it all the time! Actually, it's weird. I shiver while I'm remembering a past that is unpleasant. I have no clue how to stop but I know how to somewhat control it.
 

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Yes, it does suck. Like having too many nerve endings.
 
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No, that doesn't happen for me. So when something unpleasant comes up you start seeing negatives focused in regular life?

If I heard that Dr. Who line up there I'd spin it into a joke about tomato carrot soup. I need to work on that!

I don't think type has anything to with it. You seem like a really sensitive person to me, and I'm not saying that in a negative way, it's just that you're different from people like me and a lot of other people. It's like a 500 piece puzzle! The last time I did one of those I was fo' yea's ol'!

Alright, Blondie (you like the nickname?) there's nothing wrong with that sensitive feeling. You's cool and I learned something. Take care girl and thanks!
 

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Relationships especially.

The termination of my last relationship, in my view, contributed to a swift murder of who I used to be. It's almost as though I've been trying to relearn how to walk and talk in some ways ever since. The world seems unfamiliar and more threatening at every turn.
 

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Emotions are a strange thing, thing is usually I can get over them fairly quickly but lately I've been in a constant state of despair. Though I've never had jealousy issues, it's like it doesn't exist in my mind yet I see it everywhere and it confuses me. I just wish I had a way to let it all out, I wish I were a little girl.
 

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Yes, one bf in my 20's said when I was singing in the car "Your voice isn't that cool , *anyone* can do a throaty type of voice." I never sing in front of anyone, I'm 35 now.
 

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it sucks being so sensitive in relationships!

I have good self-esteem but when my ENTP says something like "It's a shame Karen Gillan shaved her head. She was the only redhead on Dr. Who and she had a beautiful head of hair" I all of sudden snap to attention to this "Karen Gillan" and notice stuff about her everywhere online and it constantly reminds me of that.

That's just a small example. My brain is so hypersensitive and remembers every insult, put down, pang of jealousy, etc ever.

Anyone else feel like this?
I'd be disappointed in him. Clearly not a Whovian.
Sincerely,
Donna Noble
 

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Okay, serious answer, I'm not an NF, but I've experienced this. I had a bf in high school who was infatuated and obsessed with redheads. I am not a redhead. So, even after we broke up, there was tension between me and women with red hair, on my behalf. It took a long time to get over how inadequate he had made me feel over a stupid hair color. I still feel the same pang when, for example, a boyfriend expresses how sexy women with tattoos are, and I don't have tattoos.
 
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Yeah mix NF with a superego enneagram type and it's crazy.
 
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Mostly. Especially if it is an insult directed towards me, or some rumor that spread around from the past when I hung out with drama queens... I can never forget those. Put downs are a pain. My xnfp admits to holding grudges too, because she'll always remember.

Even so, I don't think I would ever want to intentionally harm persons who have done such. An example: my mom always compares me with others, talking about how so and so done such and such and I didn't do that, and it's a huge letdown as she hardly acknowledges the accomplishments I've made.
 

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yes it does. i remember the mean and or thoughtless things said or done very well. they stick out more than i'd like them to in my memory. i'd rather remember the positives, but it's just not always like that. i wish it were though.
 

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Oh god yes. I can remember insults like no tomorrow, and not just to myself, either. If someone yells at someone else and I view it as unwarranted (which is probably most things), I feel pangs of hurt and anger within.
 

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I certainly know that feeling, but I'm afraid that I would disagree that it's necessarily a bad thing. I am a strong believer in the power of communication, and the people that I date tend to reflect that. Thus, while I do suffer from pangs of jealousy and inadequacy, being consoled is never more than a gentle conversation away. I surround myself in sensitive, emotional people, people who know these same pains as I do, and let me tell you, there are few moments more heartwarming than when you open up with someone that you love and discuss your fears and hurt. It's much easier to let these things go when you can share them comfortably, I find.
 

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I've seen this in my life as well. When I am around people that I know are NF's or I suspect are such I have to bite my tongue. Being a strong J, I have a tendency to wield the gavel of judgement and criticism without realizing it.

I have unintentionally driven my younger sister (who is an INFP) into tears simply by framing something too critically.
 

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I have never realised that NF-s are so sensitive to such words, il try to remember it, sometimes i have said harsh things because im quite immune to critical words. Oh you little feelers.
 

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Funniest thing is that my Ni always tells me that the grudges are based on bullshit, resulting in more passive agression because It makes me feel ashamed about it. :p
 

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I don't feel anything resembling a twinge of jealousy when my girlfriend comments on some hot celebrity or video game character. I feel amused. It's refreshing, really, because I love it when I hear women talk about sex and what they find hot. It arouses me to know they have blood pumping through their veins, know what they want, and don't have to be shy about it. I absolutely love sexually aggressive women.

I sometimes feel a deep sense of insecurity if we're going through tough financial times, though, and I occasionally feel an irrational fear that my girlfriend will leave me if I can't succeed in the areas I try to. Part of this is some vestigial residue from my previous abusive relationship. Of course, her being an NT helps, because it means she's very stable and low-maintenance.

I'm also sometimes dispirited about the things we disagree on, whether it's art, literature, movies, or religion. I, for instance, love ambiguity and magical realism in fiction. I love the Maybe Magic, Maybe Mundane trope. She, on the other hand, always interprets it as "mundane", even going so far as to invoke Death of the Author (which is a trope I hate). She is certain that the fantastic elements in Pan's Labyrinth and Donnie Darko only exist in the heads of their respective protagonists, despite the fact that according to their authors, they do not. I personally detest these interpretations, since I think they would render each story bleak and pointless, but these are the interpretations she prefers. She is also certain that the second story in Life of Pi is the "real" story because it was more "believable", and that the rest of the novel was a waste of time. I've tried to explain that the point of the novel is which story is better, and that there can be no definitive Word of God on which version is true. I find this slightly unsettling because I think it says a lot about our differences in how we see the world. But I don't doubt for a second that she loves me, and wants to spend her life with me, and that's the best weapon against despair in this world, I think.
 
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