Sorry about this post, but I am still a bit on the fence as to where I stand with the INTJ.
During the first week me met, he had a tendency to share with me the new things he was into and old things he used to be into. By 2 months, he called me his "best friend" haha. This year, we don't really have classes together so don't hang out as often. He's surprised from time to time that I still remember things he told me a long time ago. We almost stopped being friends last year, because it felt as though he was interested in me and I didn't feel the same way (at the time). He said that I changed him in a positive way and really helped him get through some things he was dealing with internally. I was afraid of disappointing him if we were to get into a relationship and felt pressured that I had to make a decision quickly. I was afraid of hurting him somehow since he went through a string of bad relationships. Even the most innocent-seeming girl hurt him, and I was afraid that (even though the chances were low) I would be like her. I went through a withdrawal period where he thought that I was mad at him. Later, I apologized, explaining that I was feeling stressed from school and didn't get enough sleep. I missed him while I was avoiding him at the same time. He apologized as well and said that he didn't blame me, that he was just as responsible. I felt relieved that he wasn't going to cut me out of his life. I texted that I missed him from time to time during the summer and during first semester of this year and he said that he missed me too - I'm not sure if he was being polite though. We only have 1 class together this semester and don't really see each other during class, but talk after class since we bus home together. To be honest, I'm not sure how I feel about him at the moment. I mean, I think that I do like him, but the risk of it seems a bit high. He's now become more popular with girls and he doesn't openly share things with me as much as he used to. Though, when he does, it's about really personal things that he says nobody else knows about (with the exception of his parents). So, I feel confused by his behaviour. I can't rely on my Ni, because my emotions interfere and create either biases or doubts. Sometimes it seems like he's interested too, but other times, it seems like he isn't. Even as I'm writing this, I'm doubting myself and am sure that I'm only highlighting the good points. Now, I don't know whether I'm still important or not. He's been hanging out with his ex a lot recently. Says he has mixed emotions about her and might get into a relationship with her again, since she's close friends with his mother. He started talking about many other girls he may/may not be interested in as well and told me about each girl he had an interest in. He looks for my advice from time to time, seems surprised when I don't react to something that most people would see as highly emotional, and seems surprised by what comes out of my mouth from time to time. The only reason why I don't act all shocked at his stories is because my intuition tells me that he's expecting a reaction. When I first met him, I was in my sort of ENFP persona and as he grew to know me, he realized that I was more reserved than I led on. That was when he became interested in me, because he saw me as some sort of puzzle that he wanted to solve. Nowadays, he doesn't really ask me as much personal questions as he used to. He just shows me pop culture-related things instead of the scientific & tech stuff he used to show me. I feel hesitant to talk to him, because I don't want to bother him or annoy him (that's what happens when I have feelings for someone; I begin to feel self-conscious as to whether I'm bothering them, so yeah, I guess I do have feelings for him but am just highly doubtful). Because he means a lot to me, it scares me that he can easily cut me off if he really put his mind to it.
The trend of our conversations kind of go like this: after I ask him a few questions and feel discouraged 'cause it seems like he shuts me down, I kind of just shut off and withdraw, carrying on with whatever I was doing. This is when he begins asking me stuff lol. To make matters more complicated, I'm going through an Ni-Ti loop at the moment, so I'm a bit less emotional when I talk and seem less enthusiastic. Also, lately when we talk, I kind of display sarcastic & nonsensical humour. I can't tell if he's amused or if it actually hurts him at times. Or if he just acts hurt so that I compliment him and reassure him again lol. For instance, today, I was having trouble analyzing a scientific paper. I explained to him that I wasn't good at finding the strengths of the paper, but could seek out the weaknesses that could be improved. He then suggested that I look at other papers related to my topic to compare the different methodologies between the studies. I couldn't believe that I missed that idea, so I was genuinely surprised that he so simply solved my problem. I thanked him and said that I had never thought of it. He seemed happy that he could help and was still looking at me. I didn't know what else to say, so I thanked him again. He smiled and said that that was why people say that he is smart. I then teased him and said, "What? People actually think that you're smart?" He seemed amused and softly said that I was a jackass. I burst out laughing and he repeated that people find him very smart. He seemed self-conscious, so I then reassured him that I was joking and said, "yes, I know. I've said that you were smart many times before." He smiled and seemed to like that I reminded him. He brushed me off - I'm not sure whether he was actually taking me seriously when I was "surprised" that he was smart. I then said that within 2 months that we met, he said that I was his best friend. He seemed surprised that I either remembered this or that he had forgotten he said this. He then joked that we were no longer friends. I feigned a sniffle and said that I was heartbroken. He then mumbled that he didn't care. Now, I'm feeling kinda... paranoid as to whether or not he does care about me. Easy way to solve this is to ask, I know, but I just wanted to know your opinion of where I stood with him.
In another instance, he had repeated himself because he was unsure whether I understood him or not. I said, "___, I know. I heard you the first time. You don't have to repeat yourself if you're doing it to make sure that I understand. I'm not that slow." He smiled and seemed happy about this too.
The main reasons why I feel doubtful is because:
1. He used to show me more things that he was interested in compared to now. He used to converse with me more often out of school through Skype - I guess 'cause we had reasons to since we were both working on the same projects and now we don't have anything to work on together.
2. He just seems to be more upbeat around other people, but with me he has his detached look until I say something to make him laugh then we get going somewhere. Like with other people, he usually just ignores me and talks with whomever is there. It was only when I bumped into him while he was with his siblings that he preferred to talk to me it seems.
3. He tells me about the girls he's seeing and his experiences with them. I tend to try to help him so that he figures out what is it that he'd like to achieve in terms of these things.
4. His ex goes over to his house pretty much every day and he's debating whether or not to get back with her as he explores his other options.