hey guys... so as part of my process of "becoming an adult," i guess i've been trying to figure out my thoughts on certain things. And there's something that's been on the back of my mind for a while.
when i was a freshman, i met some friends through a service club - it was a really close-knit community and we all bonded, hung out regularly. I met an INTP friend there -- people joked how close and similar we were and thought we were really close. however, in reality, the person was super private ( a lot more than i am) and i knew she had a small circle of friends from the same club (2 or 3) that she met at the same time, but was a lot closer to. I remember moments of observing her (and being confused cause i couldn't read her at all). I didn't have any intuition or gut feeling about her cause she was so private, but i remember feeling uneasy around her because she seemed to be very secretive and hiding something. Anyway, i continued to be her friend but also met a lot of other people in the club.
One day, she sort of disappeared. Our club leader emailed us saying that the INTP didn't want to be in the club anymore, but still wanted to be friends with all of us. The same day i had run into her before the meeting and she didn't say anything about this just, "oh im not going" and i thought she meant that specific meeting. Anyway, i tried to continue to be friends with her, but she was really shut off to anyone, except those 3 people. She cut off everyone from facebook and even if i saw her on school or with her family, she'd just ignore me and walk away. One time we were in the same class, and i was excited to see her, and sat down with her and one of the friends she was close to. she just pulled her cap down and ignored me. I later found out from one of those 3 people she was close to that around that time, she cut off everyone -- so that her facebook only had those 3 people, her wall was disabled, and everything was deleted. However, she continued to develop close relationships with those 3 people throughout college. And even now, her facebook is extremely private to those 3 people too - so they can only see mutual friends and her profile picture.
I guess.. i feel hurt...? confused...? i know i didn't do anything wrong to this person, or could i have? i didn't even know her that well enough... and i realize that she did this to everyone, but i can't help but take it personally. Around the time after she cut everyone off, someone else from the club said she ran into her and from my conversation with her, it seemed like she talked to that person and didn't act like she did towards me. I know around this time that her family was going through a divorce, but she told me it was something going on for the past 6-7 years, so the actual divorce wasn't new. I told myself... maybe it is because of family issues, she is cutting everyone off? Still, I feel uneasy and can't help but wonder if I did something wrong? This is several years ago... we've all graduated... and i'm not even in touch with those 3 people anymore... so i dont plan on doing anything like sending any message to anyone or anything. I just want to sort out my thoughts on this.... i'm confused and i dont know to be honest... I know that within my social network and this INTP's social network, we have some other overlap, and i honestly feel confused at what to say if someone asks if I know her. do i? I do. sort of. And i wonder if she has anything against me, cause if so, that makes me feel more uneasy. The only gut feeling/instinct I have about this situation now, is that this person has something against me... i dont have anything concrete to base this off of, but just my intuition on my last interactions with her i guess. recently (before i graduated and lost touch with everyone), i heard she started recontacting some people (not people from the club though). anyway, has anyone had any experiences with someone cutting them off or doorslamming them? even if you didn't do anything wrong?