Okay so I have been wondering whether or not a friend of mine may or may not have feelings for me (need some input here!). This is a bit of a lengthy post so thank you in advance to those of you who decide to read it all and especially to those who respond
Some background information: I met my friend (I'll call him Guy B [EXFJ, leaning towards ENFJ but possibly ENFP]) about a year ago at my cousin's graduation party. We live about 2 and a half hours away from one another (a few aunts and uncles, therefore also cousins, live in the area he lives in however). For a few months I was dating a guy (I'll call him Guy A [EXFP?]) who became incarcerated for something that occurred a few years back (long story on this one that I don't feel like delving into here to keep this post somewhat short). Guy A was incarcerated for a majority of our relationship; we had met in one of my classes beforehand so no I didn't magically meet him while he was behind bars ha ha. Anyways, I decided to give Guy A a chance because his crime was nothing too serious and didn't pertain to violence towards women or anything of the sort. I wrote letters to him, visited him a few times, etc. One day I did a countdown facebook status for how many days he'll be out of jail; Guy B messaged me about it and asked me what the deal is with this countdown. The guy is pretty cool and open-minded (also not very judgmental), so I had decided to fill him in on the situation. He was pretty cool about the whole thing and was pretty supportive of me in giving Guy A a shot. Of course, about a week and a half ago I called it off with Guy A because things were not working out as he had abruptly stopped communicating to me (and ignored my attempts in doing such) for several days, which was just absolutely ridiculous to me and I feel I deserve much better than that!
The Things I Have Noticed about Guy B: Anyways, I have noticed some interesting things about my friend that I recently thought about and have been actually wondering if he has been developing feelings or at least interest in me for at least a couple months now if not longer
* We have spoken on Facebook and/or texted almost every day (about a lot of different things) for the last few months. He doesn't always message me first but whenever I do message him I notice that he logs onto Facebook not very long after. He responds right away a lot of the times but sometimes not (does always respond however). If he doesn't respond for even a few hours he always apologizes and explains why he was unable to respond earlier (that or will warn me beforehand he's going to be busy for a while). We also go back and forth a lot either for a couple hours at a time or keep the conversation going here and there throughout the day.
-- he has also mentioned on several occasions how he wishes he had a girlfriend. At one point he was trying to ask this girl out from one of his summer classes (which didn't turn out well but I was there to tell him how awesome of a guy he is and such). He admits that it's been hard for him because he faces rejection 90% of the time (in his words). In that, he admits he tends to either come off rather bluntly which can make others uncomfortable or says nothing at all and kicks himself for it (can be rather shy about talking about whether or not he likes someone to them). On several occasions he said to me "My friend is wondering if you have any single friends". I may be reading too much into this but he has sometimes said this a couple days in a row; could this be his way of hinting to me in an anonymous way if I would be interested in him but is using "my friend" as code for him and "single friends" as code for me? I don't know, there's a chance I'm probably over-analyzing ha ha.
* Over the course of the last few months, there have been a few times where he randomly would ask me (out of context) when I will be in town next. One time he said to me "I wish you lived closer : / why do you have to live so far away?" He also in this conversation said that my company is "well-appreciated". On another occasion he asked me "Why aren't you here?" which was just a few nights ago.
-- I went to visit a couple days (would be now last weekend) after I broke up with Guy A. I went to stay with a cousin of mine; I also decided to hang out with him both days I was in town. Before we hung out the first time, he cancelled plans he had that night (said that "it was more of a family event anyways" when I asked him why they were cancelled). We ended up hanging out at his place for about 5-6 hours just talking about different things and such, including my recently ended relationship and his poor behaviors beforehand (and how things were complicated). The second time we hung out together, he initially told me that he had to leave to do some errands around 4pm. However, a little bit after I got to his place he told me that "realistically speaking I don't have to leave here until 5:45 or 6ish. Him doing that makes me think that he was trying to hang out with me for as long as possible??
--- Also, right after I told him I left to go home, he asked me when I will be coming back. He has also asked me this on a couple other occasions randomly when I will be coming back with me telling him the same thing each time (probably around Labor Day weekend). He also told me that whenever I feel stressed out with my parents or just want to visit, I can stay with him for as long as I want but to just give him a heads up (he is also in school and lives in an apartment near his school with a few roommates). I have quite a few relatives I can stay with which he realizes but when I came into town last, he tried getting me to stay with him and to spend a lot of my time with him (which I did).
He also admitted that he told a friend of his about me and how "he had a great weekend with this one girl [being me]" and says "him and I talk since we're good friends you know?"
* After I told him the situation with Guy A who I was dating at the time, he ended up telling me about how I am a really special girl (in his words, "you're fuckin special"), that guy sees it (although Idk if he was just being nice in saying this or what), and how I should never forget this "fact" (in his words, "never forget this fact". To clarify I asked him which one as he talked about a few good traits in me and he said "about you being special : / "). He told me it takes a lot of inner strength to be with a guy who is incarcerated and that it is really awesome of me to give him a chance despite what my parents thought and being forgiving enough to see past well Guy A's past. On an interesting note, he often asked me how things are going with this guy including after I had broken up with Guy A (and has asked about my "status" with him).
* Whenever I share with him philosophical thoughts that have come across my mind or shared with him an analogy I have come up with to put some things into perspective, he always has some in-depth response to what I have to say or at the very least tells me about how well-thought out my ideas are (and often agrees with them). Of course, we do have a lot of interesting discussions if time allows or if someone brings up an idea to talk about.
* I have talked to him about some problems and such I have had (feeling blue about Guy A being in jail and not being able to see him outside of a computer screen, issues with my parents, etc.). Not once did he "invalidate" my feelings or go against me yet brings in other perspectives and is a downright excellent listener. On a few occasions he actually decided to talk to me on the phone instead of texting on facebook or whatever. I of course reciprocate the favor for him and he does open up to me about a lot of things as well (his past, his feelings on some things and about some people, etc. to name a couple things).
-- I have talked about some of my personal flaws and insecurities. Whenever I have mentioned these things, he would tell me something like "there's nothing wrong with that" and doesn't fail to throw a compliment in the mix somehow.
(goes with the above) we have spoken on the phone a few times, once or twice being because he was driving or something and wanted to talk to me on the phone because he couldn't respond via text. Each time we have spoken on the phone, the conversations have lasted for a minimum of 30 min and have lasted up to 1-1.5 hours each time (he has initiated a few phone conversations and me a couple).
-- There was a conversation we had once where he told me about some of the wrongdoings he had done in the past. He felt frustrated because a lot of people look down upon him for what he had done and was worried about finding someone compatible for him that would accept him for who he is. I told him about how it matters who we are today and what we make of what we have done (in other words, did you learn from your mistakes?). I said to him that he will find someone who accepts him for him or something along those lines. He said to me "idk I'm pretty happy you do "
* We sometimes tease each other and even have a couple inside jokes. Whenever I make a joke with him, he often will laugh even at the bad ones (has teased me about the bad ones but still laughed). I don't think I met someone who's ever laughed at so many of my jokes in my entire life (and I dated a guy for 2.5 years previously).
* I recently brought up a friend of mine with him who I think may be "in the closet" and told him why. He said to me "if you (and of course her) want, you can bring her out here. I am pretty good at reading people". Is he just being polite and offering to help me "confirm" my suspicions or is this his way of asking me or getting me to go back out to see him again?
Thank you guys in advance for reading and responding to this. I know this is a lengthy post but I am really wondering if this guy has feelings for me or if he is just being a nice guy. Any and all feedback is greatly appreciated!
Some background information: I met my friend (I'll call him Guy B [EXFJ, leaning towards ENFJ but possibly ENFP]) about a year ago at my cousin's graduation party. We live about 2 and a half hours away from one another (a few aunts and uncles, therefore also cousins, live in the area he lives in however). For a few months I was dating a guy (I'll call him Guy A [EXFP?]) who became incarcerated for something that occurred a few years back (long story on this one that I don't feel like delving into here to keep this post somewhat short). Guy A was incarcerated for a majority of our relationship; we had met in one of my classes beforehand so no I didn't magically meet him while he was behind bars ha ha. Anyways, I decided to give Guy A a chance because his crime was nothing too serious and didn't pertain to violence towards women or anything of the sort. I wrote letters to him, visited him a few times, etc. One day I did a countdown facebook status for how many days he'll be out of jail; Guy B messaged me about it and asked me what the deal is with this countdown. The guy is pretty cool and open-minded (also not very judgmental), so I had decided to fill him in on the situation. He was pretty cool about the whole thing and was pretty supportive of me in giving Guy A a shot. Of course, about a week and a half ago I called it off with Guy A because things were not working out as he had abruptly stopped communicating to me (and ignored my attempts in doing such) for several days, which was just absolutely ridiculous to me and I feel I deserve much better than that!
The Things I Have Noticed about Guy B: Anyways, I have noticed some interesting things about my friend that I recently thought about and have been actually wondering if he has been developing feelings or at least interest in me for at least a couple months now if not longer
* We have spoken on Facebook and/or texted almost every day (about a lot of different things) for the last few months. He doesn't always message me first but whenever I do message him I notice that he logs onto Facebook not very long after. He responds right away a lot of the times but sometimes not (does always respond however). If he doesn't respond for even a few hours he always apologizes and explains why he was unable to respond earlier (that or will warn me beforehand he's going to be busy for a while). We also go back and forth a lot either for a couple hours at a time or keep the conversation going here and there throughout the day.
-- he has also mentioned on several occasions how he wishes he had a girlfriend. At one point he was trying to ask this girl out from one of his summer classes (which didn't turn out well but I was there to tell him how awesome of a guy he is and such). He admits that it's been hard for him because he faces rejection 90% of the time (in his words). In that, he admits he tends to either come off rather bluntly which can make others uncomfortable or says nothing at all and kicks himself for it (can be rather shy about talking about whether or not he likes someone to them). On several occasions he said to me "My friend is wondering if you have any single friends". I may be reading too much into this but he has sometimes said this a couple days in a row; could this be his way of hinting to me in an anonymous way if I would be interested in him but is using "my friend" as code for him and "single friends" as code for me? I don't know, there's a chance I'm probably over-analyzing ha ha.
* Over the course of the last few months, there have been a few times where he randomly would ask me (out of context) when I will be in town next. One time he said to me "I wish you lived closer : / why do you have to live so far away?" He also in this conversation said that my company is "well-appreciated". On another occasion he asked me "Why aren't you here?" which was just a few nights ago.
-- I went to visit a couple days (would be now last weekend) after I broke up with Guy A. I went to stay with a cousin of mine; I also decided to hang out with him both days I was in town. Before we hung out the first time, he cancelled plans he had that night (said that "it was more of a family event anyways" when I asked him why they were cancelled). We ended up hanging out at his place for about 5-6 hours just talking about different things and such, including my recently ended relationship and his poor behaviors beforehand (and how things were complicated). The second time we hung out together, he initially told me that he had to leave to do some errands around 4pm. However, a little bit after I got to his place he told me that "realistically speaking I don't have to leave here until 5:45 or 6ish. Him doing that makes me think that he was trying to hang out with me for as long as possible??
--- Also, right after I told him I left to go home, he asked me when I will be coming back. He has also asked me this on a couple other occasions randomly when I will be coming back with me telling him the same thing each time (probably around Labor Day weekend). He also told me that whenever I feel stressed out with my parents or just want to visit, I can stay with him for as long as I want but to just give him a heads up (he is also in school and lives in an apartment near his school with a few roommates). I have quite a few relatives I can stay with which he realizes but when I came into town last, he tried getting me to stay with him and to spend a lot of my time with him (which I did).
He also admitted that he told a friend of his about me and how "he had a great weekend with this one girl [being me]" and says "him and I talk since we're good friends you know?"
* After I told him the situation with Guy A who I was dating at the time, he ended up telling me about how I am a really special girl (in his words, "you're fuckin special"), that guy sees it (although Idk if he was just being nice in saying this or what), and how I should never forget this "fact" (in his words, "never forget this fact". To clarify I asked him which one as he talked about a few good traits in me and he said "about you being special : / "). He told me it takes a lot of inner strength to be with a guy who is incarcerated and that it is really awesome of me to give him a chance despite what my parents thought and being forgiving enough to see past well Guy A's past. On an interesting note, he often asked me how things are going with this guy including after I had broken up with Guy A (and has asked about my "status" with him).
* Whenever I share with him philosophical thoughts that have come across my mind or shared with him an analogy I have come up with to put some things into perspective, he always has some in-depth response to what I have to say or at the very least tells me about how well-thought out my ideas are (and often agrees with them). Of course, we do have a lot of interesting discussions if time allows or if someone brings up an idea to talk about.
* I have talked to him about some problems and such I have had (feeling blue about Guy A being in jail and not being able to see him outside of a computer screen, issues with my parents, etc.). Not once did he "invalidate" my feelings or go against me yet brings in other perspectives and is a downright excellent listener. On a few occasions he actually decided to talk to me on the phone instead of texting on facebook or whatever. I of course reciprocate the favor for him and he does open up to me about a lot of things as well (his past, his feelings on some things and about some people, etc. to name a couple things).
-- I have talked about some of my personal flaws and insecurities. Whenever I have mentioned these things, he would tell me something like "there's nothing wrong with that" and doesn't fail to throw a compliment in the mix somehow.
(goes with the above) we have spoken on the phone a few times, once or twice being because he was driving or something and wanted to talk to me on the phone because he couldn't respond via text. Each time we have spoken on the phone, the conversations have lasted for a minimum of 30 min and have lasted up to 1-1.5 hours each time (he has initiated a few phone conversations and me a couple).
-- There was a conversation we had once where he told me about some of the wrongdoings he had done in the past. He felt frustrated because a lot of people look down upon him for what he had done and was worried about finding someone compatible for him that would accept him for who he is. I told him about how it matters who we are today and what we make of what we have done (in other words, did you learn from your mistakes?). I said to him that he will find someone who accepts him for him or something along those lines. He said to me "idk I'm pretty happy you do "
* We sometimes tease each other and even have a couple inside jokes. Whenever I make a joke with him, he often will laugh even at the bad ones (has teased me about the bad ones but still laughed). I don't think I met someone who's ever laughed at so many of my jokes in my entire life (and I dated a guy for 2.5 years previously).
* I recently brought up a friend of mine with him who I think may be "in the closet" and told him why. He said to me "if you (and of course her) want, you can bring her out here. I am pretty good at reading people". Is he just being polite and offering to help me "confirm" my suspicions or is this his way of asking me or getting me to go back out to see him again?
Thank you guys in advance for reading and responding to this. I know this is a lengthy post but I am really wondering if this guy has feelings for me or if he is just being a nice guy. Any and all feedback is greatly appreciated!