[Ilsa Ackermann]

Hello, I'm an INFP visiting this realm of ENTP in search of advice and insight...


Here's the story:

There's this guy I've known for a couple years who I'm pretty sure is an ENTP - we go to school together and have same major. It's an acquaintance level relationship. I'd never EVER considered him as a romantic option. Never crossed my mind once.

So, the other day, we were in play rehearsal and all he did was sit near me and poke my shoe and made a comment about it and then suddenly... FEELINGS!!! Out of nowhere I got a crush on him. I don't even know what happened. It's like my mind went without me... WHY!!?? :frustrating:

So, now, all I want is to hold his hand and lean on his shoulder and hug him. He's nearly a foot taller than me and bigger. He's got a booming voice and he sings a low baritone. I just feel like I would feel so safe with him. :kitteh:

I keep trying to lock eyes and place myself near him to kind of give him a hint of my feelings. Sometimes he'll hold the eye contact for a heartbeat longer than normal... but I sometimes get the sense that he's ignoring me...???

During our play, another girl (who's not single), he, and I are on one side of backstage and he'll usually talk to her and I just stand there and listen. And tonight, our whole cast was out for dinner and he was seated next to me but I got a weird, awkward vibe from him and then he went and joined his friends...

Do you guys know what's going on here? Do I need a different approach? Do I have a chance?

Just so you know - I kinda hate myself right now cause every crush I've ever had has been one-sided and now I want to punch myself in the face.

Help me ENTPs, you're my only hope!

 

[SiFan]

....

So, now, all I want is to hold his hand and lean on his shoulder and hug him. He's nearly a foot taller than me and bigger. He's got a booming voice and he sings a low baritone. I just feel like I would feel so safe with him. :kitteh:

I keep trying to lock eyes and place myself near him to kind of give him a hint of my feelings. Sometimes he'll hold the eye contact for a heartbeat longer than normal... but I sometimes get the sense that he's ignoring me...???

During our play, another girl (who's not single), he, and I are on one side of backstage and he'll usually talk to her and I just stand there and listen. And tonight, our whole cast was out for dinner and he was seated next to me but I got a weird, awkward vibe from him and then he went and joined his friends...

Do you guys know what's going on here? Do I need a different approach? Do I have a chance?

....

Seems like you and the guy have secret crushes on each other.

.So, of course, you 'have a chance'!

​

 

[FueledByEvil]

Hello, I'm an INFP visiting this realm of ENTP in search of advice and insight...


Here's the story:

There's this guy I've known for a couple years who I'm pretty sure is an ENTP - we go to school together and have same major. It's an acquaintance level relationship. I'd never EVER considered him as a romantic option. Never crossed my mind once.

So, the other day, we were in play rehearsal and all he did was sit near me and poke my shoe and made a comment about it and then suddenly... FEELINGS!!! Out of nowhere I got a crush on him. I don't even know what happened. It's like my mind went without me... WHY!!?? :frustrating:

So, now, all I want is to hold his hand and lean on his shoulder and hug him. He's nearly a foot taller than me and bigger. He's got a booming voice and he sings a low baritone. I just feel like I would feel so safe with him. :kitteh:

I keep trying to lock eyes and place myself near him to kind of give him a hint of my feelings. Sometimes he'll hold the eye contact for a heartbeat longer than normal... but I sometimes get the sense that he's ignoring me...???

During our play, another girl (who's not single), he, and I are on one side of backstage and he'll usually talk to her and I just stand there and listen. And tonight, our whole cast was out for dinner and he was seated next to me but I got a weird, awkward vibe from him and then he went and joined his friends...

Do you guys know what's going on here? Do I need a different approach? Do I have a chance?

Just so you know - I kinda hate myself right now cause every crush I've ever had has been one-sided and now I want to punch myself in the face.

Help me ENTPs, you're my only hope!

Well if you are crushing on someone it is almost always one sided at least to
start so that's the norm. Abnormal would be for two people to crush on each
other at the same time without the other knowing. That's not the norm.

There is not even close to enough info to assume anything about this guy. Type included.

What I will say is that almost all relationships that last start with a driver and a passenger
that is unsure about it. That is very, very normal. Indeed probably the best option.
I mean whats the other option? Love at first sight for both? Well wouldn't that be nice
in a perfect world.

Okay INFP. Im gunna say something that you are not going to do.

Ask him.

So go ahead....

K now that that is out of the way we can start with reality.
X)

So knowing that you will most likely not be the aggressor in any capacity at anytime
with this? I don't know what to say. Honesty is the best policy? To sound cliche.

The truth will set you free...
Grow a pair.....
Speak now or forever hold your peace....
Living with regret is worse then any risk taken in this regard...

There was a time that fighting to get someone and convincing them
of your worth to them was the norm. Nowadays I find no one really buys
into that and things should just come naturally. Well that has lead to
more cat ladies then you can shake a stick at.

If he is an ENTP and does not know you like him he is NOT going to read signs
like "well I sat next to him and he didn't seem right" What the heck does that mean?
He seemed right to himself I can assure you that. There was a seat. He sat down because
it was comfy. You sat beside him and he thought this here "She is sitting in a chair because
that is what people do with chairs and indeed this dinner requires that we sit, as a matter
of social norms and to make eating an easier proposition"

Be blunt. Or watch the slide.

 

[Geonerd]

I was going to say something similar to @FueledByEvil. He is probably not going to read the signs. If you are interested, be blunt, not coy. ENTPs tend to notice the squeaky wheel, not the wallflower, unless the wallflower actually gets into an interesting conversation with us. If trying to get someone into a conversation feels like pulling teeth, you are going to lose us quickly.

One thing I find with most introverts, because they are living in their heads, they assume everyone else is living in their heads too. They think that a person is going to know they are interesting or have a lot to offer, which I am sure they do, without actually putting themselves out there. They think their actions look obvious but in reality, people are going about their time barely noticing what other people are doing around them, especially people with first place Se or Ne. If the person is not joining in the conversation, that other person will never know how interesting that person is.

I have a very good friend (INTJ) I have known since we were in college who I swear could have wrote your post in how she tends to interact with a guy she is interest in (and crushes on him). She is now over 40 and never really had a real relationship. It is not at all because of her appearance or because she is uninteresting. She very pretty, dresses well, smart, and one of my favorite people to have a conversation with. Her issue is that she NEVER puts herself really out there. She either had crushes on unattainable people (someone already in a relationship or just kind of out of reach) or she was interested and waited for them to make the moves, which they never did because she did not really give them obvious clues to understand she was actually interested in them.

Anyway, what I am saying is that you need to put yourself out there if you want to get his attention. You don't have to all of a sudden act like an extrovert but try and start a real conversation with him, find ways to be alone, or get outside of the play atmosphere with him. The best way into an ENTPs pants is through their mind. We find someone we can talk to infinitely more attractive than someone who is beautiful but it's like talking to a wall.