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I was just wondering ... Tomboys?

2326 Views 24 Replies 21 Participants Last post by  MissyMaroon, 
L
So I'm a pretty boyish girl. I've always been, I guess it's because I was raised with a busy busy busy and traveling mother. My dad was always around, so we watched LoTR, Indiana Jones, Star Wars and so on instead of ... whatever the newest chick flick is... Basically, I'm a big tomboy.

So, I have quite a lot of male friends, and they all say "tomboys are hot/awesome/perfect" and so on, but really? are they just saying that because they know I WILL change myself, if I find out, people isn't that into who I am?

I guess to a point, tomboys are attractive?

I read somewhere that being too boyish get's you stuck in the friend zone, so could anyone tell me, am I too boyish?
I've been a scout for the last 5 years, and it's not girl scouting, as you know it in the states. In Denmark, where I grew up, scouting is climbing trees, making bonfires, sleeping outside in -17 Celsius, walking 50 km and all that stuff. It's something I really enjoy!The mentality of scouting has become my mentality, and nothing really is impossible. I don't mind if my clothes get a bit dirty, and I just DO things. Why wonder too much if you clothes are gonna rip?
I used to ride horses all the time, and i guess that made be a bit tough too. Being thrown of all the time hardens you quite a bit.

I try to stay away from girls, they're just trouble. Only a few is my true friends. I don't really date, it's weird. And flirting isn't my thing either, i just want to be friends.

I'm not afraid of hitting back and fighting. If people piss me off, I'll just leave, and I don't really hide my opinions. If someone insults me, I don't cry, I just talk back, and I swear quite a lot. If it's very offensive, I'll hit whoever's being a bitch!

I'm pretty chill. I don't really gossip, shop a lot or care about my nails. My style is boyish, but feminine, at least I think so. I only own two skirts and one red clothing item, everything else is blue, white, grey, black, brown or green, except some few scarfs. I'm always wearing jeans! *jeans love!*
As for my body, it's ... well... I'm 172 cm and pale, blue eyes with freckles and strawberry blonde hair. I'm not overweight, not skinny either, just normal. My waist isn't really existing, but i have giant and annoying boobs. They're always a target of jokes, and there's a lot of those, I'm telling you, since most of my friends are male.
I do wear make up, but nothing special, just eyeliner and mascara.

Is that too boyish for a girl?
I guess I have to add that I'm ENFP, and always laughing and making new friends :laughing: but no one seems to really like me more than just a friend. *being lonely sucks :sad:*
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It's a matter of perception and we all view beauty differently.

Some guys might prefer the ultra feminine type of girl, of course. But believe it or not, a lot of guys probably consider you absolutely beautiful for all the qualities you just mentioned.

I think you might be falling victim to what media portrays as beauty. Don't let it phase you and just continue being who you are.
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You look pretty girly in your picture on your profile :p
And i hope this wont come of as a rude, or negative in any way,
but, you're 16, just enjoy the things you like!

also, i know a bunch of girls who used to be boyish, until they where 19/20 and suddenly changed into girly girls, just wait it out and see what happens? :D
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F
Perhaps it's the INTJ/ENFP chemistry, but you just described a girl I would really, really like IRL. And "tomboyishness?" I wouldn't worry about that. It only gets unattractive when it's physical, and taken to the extreme.
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Closet Extrovert
I bet most people would describe me as a tomboy...I'm nearly 22...
I'm not one for fashion. I most certainly don't dress for other people. I love my baggy t-shirts, baggy pants/jeans and sneakers/skater shoes/trainers. I'm not one for dressing presentably, or even worse (as some people would term it) acting presentably (i.e. how other people expect me to act). I've got my views/morals/values, and I stick by them...some people would term that as being stubborn.
Don't beat yourself up if you're not girly, it's OK to be different, rather embrace it. And don't let other people define who you are, only you yourself can define who you are! :happy:
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In my country it's difficult to find a naturally girlie girl once you leave the city, where the culture is one of rural colonialism and physical work. I grew up with girls like that. What's the question? LOL Are they attractive? Sure. Once you understand guys better, you'll know there is nothing to worry about. You could dress as a carnival clown and still find a boy who wants to be more than friends with you. Relax, do what you want to do and enjoy yourself.
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weka, do I ask where you live?

and thanks, I'm feeling much better now.:laughing:
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S
Hey, don't worry about it, in my experience, most guys like a girl who is willing to get her hands dirty. Some might like the look of a girly-girl at first, but once they find out how high maintenance she is, it's suddenly not worth it.
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M
Ye. As long as you have breasts and vagina there are plenty of males interested in you.
"Just keep it real" as gay as it sounds. Really really gay.
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A
I really like tomboys, those all girly girls are really a pain to deal with, I prefer girls who I can talk to in a more rational way and who won't try to play mind games on me all the time.

You should be ok, if you like someone and want a relationship just show your affection towards him and let him know/give some tips about how you feel.

Also, tomboys with big breasts are HOT!
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jack london
Luka said:
I guess I have to add that I'm ENFP, and always laughing and making new friends :laughing: but no one seems to really like me more than just a friend. *being lonely sucks :sad:*
Click to expand...

You are an ENFP so you could be anything and most INTJ would follow you around the world. Every women is different and that is what we love about you.
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Tomboys are hot hot hot <3 I would date a tomboy, but keep in mind that the definition of the word "tomboy" can be pretty specific for some.

You may already attract people and not know it ;D
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Luka said:
So I'm a pretty boyish girl. I've always been, I guess it's because I was raised with a busy busy busy and traveling mother. My dad was always around, so we watched LoTR, Indiana Jones, Star Wars and so on instead of ... whatever the newest chick flick is... Basically, I'm a big tomboy.

So, I have quite a lot of male friends, and they all say "tomboys are hot/awesome/perfect" and so on, but really? are they just saying that because they know I WILL change myself, if I find out, people isn't that into who I am?

I guess to a point, tomboys are attractive?

I read somewhere that being too boyish get's you stuck in the friend zone, so could anyone tell me, am I too boyish?
I've been a scout for the last 5 years, and it's not girl scouting, as you know it in the states. In Denmark, where I grew up, scouting is climbing trees, making bonfires, sleeping outside in -17 Celsius, walking 50 km and all that stuff. It's something I really enjoy!The mentality of scouting has become my mentality, and nothing really is impossible. I don't mind if my clothes get a bit dirty, and I just DO things. Why wonder too much if you clothes are gonna rip?
I used to ride horses all the time, and i guess that made be a bit tough too. Being thrown of all the time hardens you quite a bit.

I try to stay away from girls, they're just trouble. Only a few is my true friends. I don't really date, it's weird. And flirting isn't my thing either, i just want to be friends.

I'm not afraid of hitting back and fighting. If people piss me off, I'll just leave, and I don't really hide my opinions. If someone insults me, I don't cry, I just talk back, and I swear quite a lot. If it's very offensive, I'll hit whoever's being a bitch!

I'm pretty chill. I don't really gossip, shop a lot or care about my nails. My style is boyish, but feminine, at least I think so. I only own two skirts and one red clothing item, everything else is blue, white, grey, black, brown or green, except some few scarfs. I'm always wearing jeans! *jeans love!*
As for my body, it's ... well... I'm 172 cm and pale, blue eyes with freckles and strawberry blonde hair. I'm not overweight, not skinny either, just normal. My waist isn't really existing, but i have giant and annoying boobs. They're always a target of jokes, and there's a lot of those, I'm telling you, since most of my friends are male.
I do wear make up, but nothing special, just eyeliner and mascara.

Is that too boyish for a girl?
I guess I have to add that I'm ENFP, and always laughing and making new friends :laughing: but no one seems to really like me more than just a friend. *being lonely sucks :sad:*
Click to expand...
I don't really equate these things with being a tomboy. A lot of my female friends are exactly how you describe yourself. I really hate the notion that girls like chickflicks, shopping, are weak etc. That has not been my experience of women.
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It obviously bothers you so you should pay attention to what you want in a man and give the opposite in return, it's kinda hard to treat a lady as a lady if she ain't behaving as one, yeah sure ocassional fiestiness is ok but you seem to over do it, at least more then you would like too. I would suggest asking a guy that you like a couple of questions : what he likes in a girl and what turns him on, and do those for him, w/e nails, skirts . Just follow along and see what happens , how your inner world changes , maybe some of those changes might fit you maybe not, but it's always good to play with "what is not you" type of things, just to get the lessons you need to learn. I mean picture the following scene, just visualize it, a girl comes to guy with a boyish attitude, what would he do ? he either confronts her and puts her in her place or he goes into a "feminine" mode at that time, would you like that reaction from men ? which one ? how much of it would you want ? To draw the line, put it on papper ( i mean it, just write it down ) what you want from a guy , in all the details and look inside you what you can change to offer in return (for instance, would you like a guy to be able to lead you and tell you where to go when you are out, then temper your tone a bit , speak less, pay attention to him, approve him).
It all comes down to what you want and give the opposite in return.
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My gf is also the tomboy type. I would not want her to be any other way or to change for me. For her, becoming more girly-like would make her less, not more.
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F
I'm probably the girliest of my friends. Though I'm not Barbie pink, squeemish, girly. I've always been friends with boys and tomboys, as I tend to find other girls a bit shallow and empty headed.

A couple of my more tomboyish friends are scouts, they do hiking, paint ball, ride horses, play football...beyond doing sport and physical activity some of them study more traditionally male subjects, such as engineering. Others play more traditionally male instruments, drums and guitar.

Do boys like them? My god yes. They are physically fit, and dress in a quite understated but flattering way. Now we are in our twenties they are a bit more girly. They wear make up and jewellery, but not much.

I think they attract nicer guys, who like having someone intelligent to talk to, and who they share common interests with. They tend to date guys who are, say, in their physics class, and relived to discover a girl who doesn't read girly mags and whose brain isn't full of pink cotton candy...or who isn't going to complain they go caving every weekend.

A boy I know was complaining about how long girls spend doing their hair. I laughed and told him I just wash it and rake a comb through. I can't even be bothered to dry it properly before I leave the house half the time. His eyes glowed with sheer wonder that such a female existed.

Most guys don't want to date Paris Hilton. They don't want to date someone who acts or looks exactly like their male friends either, but you sound like you strike a good balance. At sixteen most of my friends wouldn’t have worn make up at all.

My cosine is a bit tomboyish and all her friends save her best friend are male. I'd say 80% fancy her, more if you include my brother's friends who she sort of knows. She simply doesn't realise most of the time, and thinks they are just being nice, because she is just being nice. They take their shirts off to help her put up tents, and she thinks they must just be hot.

There is nothing more attractive then someone who isn't afraid to be themselves, and you'll attract people who like you for who you are if you do. It’s better doing that then acting like someone your not to get a date, as you wont attract people you are actually going to like. Who wants to date a guy who only likes you because you tone down your intellect and personality, or because you wear low cut tops and nail varnish?

There is nothing wrong with you, and anyone who says there is isn't the sort of person you should be hanging out with.
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I don't even consider there to be such a thing as a tomboy. Women who have many masculine qualities can be very attractive, and in my opinion, people would be better off if we adopted a few behaviours of the other sex. Even so, being yourself is the most attractive thing you can be.
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H
Ellen Page is my role model... if I ever had one lol.... 0_o


Do I secretly wish I was a boy? No way...hahaha!!! ha! ha!

Not saying she is but I have seen a few interviews where they question her choice of clothing.. she can do any look basically. When she hosted SNL they did skits that were ...lets just say ...hhmm....... THEY MADE HER PLAY PETER PAN AND SHE WAS HOTT!!!! *runs*.
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^ The only celebrity crush I have is with Ellen Page
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Nova said:
I don't really equate these things with being a tomboy. A lot of my female friends are exactly how you describe yourself. I really hate the notion that girls like chickflicks, shopping, are weak etc. That has not been my experience of women.
Click to expand...
I agree that the stereotypes are getting a bit tiresome. Even the women I know who are into chick flicks/clothes shopping/whatever girly activity, they aren't made of sugar and spice. They are individuals, real people. I wonder if there are some regional differences about this? What is considered "tomboyish" in one region might just be "normal" elsewhere.



CristianLuca said:
I mean picture the following scene, just visualize it, a girl comes to guy with a boyish attitude, what would he do ? he either confronts her and puts her in her place or he goes into a "feminine" mode at that time, would you like that reaction from men ?
Click to expand...
What on earth I don't even...
:confused:
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