That's cool, but of course abusive relationships are an entirely different story. Noone wants to be hurt in a normal, loving relationship, I'm sure. And giving away love and affection to other people is selfish to say in and of itself. When one spends time with their loved one, the ultimate love and affection should be given, but the amount and limit is a representation of how that person is. I love everyone, but when I respect and care for all people in a somewhat motherly-proud-sister kind of way...nothing sexual unless I'm in a developing relationship with someone who feels the same way about me. Selfishness is subjective, because a person who loves his or herself will reflect on the world in a loving fashion. What are the boundaries to a committed relationship? Where's the crossing line that says that certain actions are acceptable and others aren't? Emotional cheating is committed by everyone, because attraction cannot only be with one person. The physical act of love, though, through intimate coalescence is the crossing point into committed relationship status, but values must be shared so both partners feel the same way, in my opinion. Depending on the time in life, some are more willing to experience "free love" rather than commitment. Love is never selfish, I'm purely talking about idealist sex when everything else works. BIOLOGICALLY SPEAKING, even if fertilization can still take place, I'm talking about MUTUAL SATISFACTION THROUGH AND THROUGH. I don't mean to be biased, but a lot of men don't know that the orgasms they thought they hit with their partners weren't actually what they thought it was, but passivity can be a factor because love can override these unfulfilled characteristics since the relationship and the other person is more important to her..and vice versa for men as well, I'm sure in many cases.