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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
Ideas For Preventing Others From Feeling Jealousy About Us

We are very good at creating good opportunities for growing. We devote many things for reaching these opportunities, but we are also very vulnerable for others to feel jealousy of us.

What would you do to prevent others from feeling jealousy of you?

What strategies have you seen others use to prevent others from feeling jealousy of them?
 
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What a strange idea. If someone is jealous of me, it's their problem, innit? I just go about my life, let them go about theirs.
 

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I'm a little confused, but...

Sure there are personality strengths of INFJs of which others could be jealous in some sense, but that goes the other way (all sixteen ways) as well.

But still, I don't know why I'd want to prevent jealousy from others about myself. If it were really unhealthy in the other person and I knew about it, sure I'd try to help them, but otherwise, like @Marv said, it's kind of just their problem as far as I'm concerned.
 

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I don't experience jealousy as such from anyone.
I suppose I naturally allow people space to be who they are so they don't feel jealous
unless of course I hit on their girlfriends, which is never!
 

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Jealousy is an expression of a fear or an unmet need. They want what you have, or they're afraid that you will somehow take away what they have already by being "better" at it.

So extend compassion, just not so much you are letting them use you as a ladder instead of their own merits. (Don't be an enabler)
 

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Of course you can't prevent certain people to feel jealous about you but you can act upon to reduce it a lot. First by not displaying how successfull you are to other people. Some people have an uncanny desire to show their accomplishments to the face of the world and people don't really want to know.
Part of it, comes from their desire to be admired by others, so they are looking for some sort of validation of their success.
The other part is more questionable morally because it's in order to feel better than others/ to elevate themselves by showing off to people who are not successfull and then feel like they worth more than them because of what they achieve.

Add : I think people are not against individual who are successful, but what they don't like is people who have been successful easily like you merit your success because you have been through some difficulties on your journey otherwise you don't earn it. I can understand this way of thinking, because let's say someone wanted to lose weight and managed to lose 10 kg but went through a lot of difficulties and hard work to achieve that, do you really think that he will like the idea that someone else managed to lose at least 20 kg without putting much effort into it and within a way more less time than him.
 

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You can only control your own actions.

You can't control the actions of others.

Character is what you are.

Reputation is only what people think you are.
 

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I don't know lol. I've never thought about this. I don't know if anyone has ever been jealous of me. I've also never been aware of myself or anyone doing anything to prevent jealousy... I'm not even sure what you could possibly do.
Jealousy is just a feeling, and if you explore it, it will tell you something about yourself. Not necessarily something to be *prevented*... if that's even possible.
 

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Encourage them to get to know INFJs in person (if we're talking about the silly type jealousy).


For personal stuff -
1: Make sure your perceptions aren't wacky.
2: Just do you, without becoming an ass.
3: Avoid people who are jealous of everyone.
4: Recognize people's emotions are their own responsibility.
 

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If someone is jealous of me, they are terribly mistaken.
 

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People call it egotism and vanity when you claim a quality which they don't have; and yet, it's their own egotism and vanity which prompts the jealousy and criticism.

How to prevent their jealousy? Do something serving their vanity or self-interest which arises from the quality in you they're jealous of: Suddenly what they hated before will be looked on as the greatest thing on earth, and meantime you get the satisfaction of seeing them display their hypocrisy.
 

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I was just reading last night in the HSP book info that often HSPs like to work, are good at it, and because of this can make others look bad. Let’s say that is the case for you. The advice in the book suggests taking some of your intensity out of work, for instance sharing your deepest ideas with a non-coworker, versus a coworker.

I was also just thinking last night that it seems like an old friend is jealous of me. The topic jealousy actually came up in a meditation along with several things that reminded me of her, and I thought to myself, Am I jealous of her? No. Not at all, perhaps she is jealous of me. I think that specifically in the USA, a competitive mindset is strongly encouraged, especially in the career world, maybe some sectors more than others. Managers might even provoke it amongst coworkers. That is our capitalist society.
So if you want to remain sensitive to others’ feelings and the possibility of jealousy, I would suggest keeping an eye on times you may try to ‘one-up’ other people. For me and this other woman it could be as simple as trying to outdo the other with our facebook photos or how many friends we hang out with.

I agree with some of the replies, that we are not responsible for how others feel.

But think about something such as what kind of car you drive and how it makes you feel. I know I sometimes feel superior to someone in an older junker simply because my car is ‘nicer’ (even tho mine is also an old junker, still nicer than a handful). So I suggest seeking humility regularly.

There’s really no way anyone can know another person’s entire life and background, and so this judging thing we all do where one is better, one is not as good, really makes no sense. It’s a quick ego boost but puts a wall in the way of real interactions.
So try to look at why you buy the clothes you do, the car, the house, all your stuff, and if it is solely to make yourself seem better. If you are not doing that, I don’t think you need to worry much about others’ jealousy, but it’s something that seems really common, even encouraged, in our society.
 

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I have some ideas that might help you:

1. Wear a top hat at all times
2. Try to smile with the right side of your mouth and frown with the left and tell others it's because you as an INFJ feel eternal joy and sorrow simultaneously at all times
3. When you're in the middle of a crowd, say the word "chiiiicken" as high pitched as you can, look around to get people's reactions, and then run
4. End all your sentences with "cuz I'm a cisgender white male with Ni"
5. Try fiercely to convince everyone you meet to give up on using cell phones and laptops because they attract bad radiation
6. Butterfly tattoo

If it still doesn't work, don't hesitate to PM me. I Have more tips than this.
 
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Curse my vagina-having status. :sad:
No worries. You can add your own special made vagina-friendly catch phrase. Do this while sticking to the other items on the list and I won't be jealous of your gorgeous Ni.
 
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but if you are passive, they may plot againt you ...

sometimes we provoke the feelings of jealousy in others because of not knowing how to show our good quality, thing, or everything else
I have had people plot against me. They essentially got me fired, I was working hard thinking I was doing all the right things, apparently not.
So I had a lot of time to read job books before the next job. And I learned how to sell myself… to discover my strengths and tell othersabout those strengths, and use them in the workplace. So the next place I work, people who have been here over 10 years seem to have their feathers ruffled a bit by my working hard again, yet I have someone younger next to me who works even harder than I do. I do not think it’s right to have to make yourself less to make others comfortable. I am pretty sure they are just afraid of change (for instance someone who’s been at a job 10 years has gotten slow and comfortable and is pissed you’re threatening that status)
 

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Discussion Starter #20
As you are explainig and showing something, mention some unwanted things and hardships and obstacles you jumped over
 
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