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I feel unhappy with my life currently. When I think about my past, I wish I had done so much differently. When I look at my life now I don't think there's any tragedy or great soap opera, but I'm just not happy with it. I'm not some millionaire that has decided to travel to Alaska becuase I'm bored either. My life sucks in smaller ways, like for example my family lives in government housing, my room is poorly heated in the winter, that kind of stuff. I know I should get a job and learn how to drive because I'm 16. I should probably at least help with house work. I don't though, and a part of me wants to change, but I just haven't. I use have chronic health issues, I used to be pretty okay when I was 5 or so they things got continually worse. I had to go to the hospital when I'd have flare ups. Sometimes I had to go to one in a city that was a hour or 2 away from ours. So I never got to doing those responsibility things I was supposed to do, I think. We moved to the city where the hospital I sometimes got transferred to about 5 or 6 years ago. I have been in a lot better health the past year or so. I missed school when I was at the hospital in the smaller citiy I used to live in. When I was at the bigger city's hospital they had teachers, but I wasn't always easy to coordinate with my school. 4 years ago I started homeschooling, and the teacher there is more flexible. I really pulled through 7th grade, but in 9/8 th grade I just kinda quit and became super lazy, barely passing, in 10/11 grade (I'm in grade 11 right now) I decided to try a bit harder. Sometimes it feels like I lack direction in life, and I don't really know what to do. I also sometimes just don't care. I used to have passions and knew what I wanted to do at least in that period of my life. Now I don't really have anything to care about. I think I have a lot of gaps of knowledge missing. My math teacher offered to help me but I feel so awkward talking about it. I also used to think I knew what I was doing in life when I was younger, I thought I was a smart girl who could accomplish anything through a little hard work. Now I question wether I was just faking it and wether I am actually capable or intelligent.
 

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I'm sure you hear this all the time, but you're so young. If you said you had a sense of identity or direction; I wouldn't believe you.

Heck, if you tell me in 15 years you have a sense of identity or direction, I probably still wouldn't believe you. I work with people in their 60s+ every day, and most of them still don't have this (but having children helps).

Just keep trying to get better each-and-every day, and you'll be happy. That's the truth.

Also, "play the game," a little. School is unimportant, but having good grades can be helpful. But, if you don't have good grades, then you'll just have to work a little harder at first. Nothing's impossibly... actually nothing's even remotely difficult. Just keep working on yourself and improving your skills, and it will work out. Also, stay on this forum :) We're all here for one-another :)

Especially the INFPs... we need each other <3
 

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I think passions ultimately come from a process of deep-knowing, and that can only come with "time". "Time" because it's not like if you sit around in a bathtub you will become Archimedes, but more in the sense of doing stuff, living life, trying different things, and eventually, something will click.. it won't be loud, and it won't be obvious. But there will be something that will make you smile and think.. this is worth it. But until you stumble across that echo in your own soul, you won't really know.

The other thing to say about passion is that people often mistake it for love or infatuation of sorts. It's really not. The passion of Christ isn't about joy - it's about suffering. Passion ultimately is that which you're willing to suffer for in the process of your pursuit. And that really means finding the right place at which point you feel confident to say, yes, this battle is worth it, and for this I shall sacrifice. Until you find that battle, the only reasonable way forward is to keep exploring. Along the way, other folks will have their own pain that they are fighting.. but unless it really resonates, that don't mean that they're yours. There lots of injustices to be fighting in the world, but very, very few that we as individuals are meant to be fighting in.
 

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I feel unhappy with my life currently. When I think about my past, I wish I had done so much differently. When I look at my life now I don't think there's any tragedy or great soap opera, but I'm just not happy with it. I'm not some millionaire that has decided to travel to Alaska becuase I'm bored either. My life sucks in smaller ways, like for example my family lives in government housing, my room is poorly heated in the winter, that kind of stuff. I know I should get a job and learn how to drive because I'm 16. I should probably at least help with house work. I don't though, and a part of me wants to change, but I just haven't. I use have chronic health issues, I used to be pretty okay when I was 5 or so they things got continually worse. I had to go to the hospital when I'd have flare ups. Sometimes I had to go to one in a city that was a hour or 2 away from ours. So I never got to doing those responsibility things I was supposed to do, I think. We moved to the city where the hospital I sometimes got transferred to about 5 or 6 years ago. I have been in a lot better health the past year or so. I missed school when I was at the hospital in the smaller citiy I used to live in. When I was at the bigger city's hospital they had teachers, but I wasn't always easy to coordinate with my school. 4 years ago I started homeschooling, and the teacher there is more flexible. I really pulled through 7th grade, but in 9/8 th grade I just kinda quit and became super lazy, barely passing, in 10/11 grade (I'm in grade 11 right now) I decided to try a bit harder. Sometimes it feels like I lack direction in life, and I don't really know what to do. I also sometimes just don't care. I used to have passions and knew what I wanted to do at least in that period of my life. Now I don't really have anything to care about. I think I have a lot of gaps of knowledge missing. My math teacher offered to help me but I feel so awkward talking about it. I also used to think I knew what I was doing in life when I was younger, I thought I was a smart girl who could accomplish anything through a little hard work. Now I question wether I was just faking it and wether I am actually capable or intelligent.
Hey there. I've been through something similar. I'm 19 and still don't drive if that makes you feel any better. I'm too anxious to. I don't have any big tradgedy, either. Just a host of mental health issues. I used to feel guilty for feeling this way because I have a good life theoretically. I have loving parents and a good support system.

I too was once a really good student, but then got lazier and it got harder and harder to focus. I just want to tell you that these are hallmark signs of depression. I know where you are. It feels like the end, you feel empty and pathetic. I've been there, trust me. I felt so bad that I couldn't keep up with life, like something was wrong with me.

I am a lot better since starting college. I find it much easier to manage. Since I can set my own schedule, I'm not sleep deprived every day. I would really talk to someone about this. Tell your parents or a friend. I got therapy and was put on antidepressants and it really helped. I still struggle but it's gotten so much better.

Hang in there! Things may look bleak now, but you won't feel like this forever. I promise. Feel free to message me, I feel I have a similar story <3
 
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