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I realize that our personalities, memories, interests evolve over time; but what do you do when you feel like you've just *stopped* and are unraveling?


I'm currently 21 and I've been on this down-ward spiral for for almost 3 years. I am a ghost compared to who I was when I was < 18 yrs. I used to be vibrant, energetic, out-going, pleasant, funny, and well-liked. Further more, I actually engaged in hobbies such as reading, painting, photography, socializing, etc regularly.

Ever since, leaving my *niche* in high school, I've managed to lose myself... completely. All confidence is gone, and motivation has ceased to exist. I don't paint/take photos, socialize (at all), read much, and I feel exhausted often. I feel my opinions are out-dated, and that I haven't been exercising myself intellectually, socially, spiritually, etc. I don't know how to fix this growing void, or what direction to take.

How does one go any direction, when you have basically become numb? I want to change, even if its just baby steps. :sad: I need help.
 

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I am 25 and I am trying to figure out just who I am. Trying to re create myself I guess. I have spent so long ignoring all these things, especially in high school, I've gotten to the point I feel like I"ve lost my true self somewhere. I'm slowly exploring, seeking personal fulfillment and personal growth. Searching for a sense of belonging somewhere. I'm just not too sure where that is. In my case I think all I can do is continue to explore myself, my opinions and really get to know just who I am. Try things that I might find fulfillment in , even if there's fear trying to pull me back. I think I will find the answers eventually. And I hope you do too!
 

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Sounds like you got bored. Try finding something else to do, or find a way to challenge yourself in your fields. "I'm going to paint using only black, pink, teal and a cat..." or "Imma' take the best photo there ever was of cranerries!" or "I wonder if I can find a hilarious Russian author?".
 

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I realize that our personalities, memories, interests evolve over time; but what do you do when you feel like you've just *stopped* and are unraveling?


I'm currently 21 and I've been on this down-ward spiral for for almost 3 years. I am a ghost compared to who I was when I was < 18 yrs. I used to be vibrant, energetic, out-going, pleasant, funny, and well-liked. Further more, I actually engaged in hobbies such as reading, painting, photography, socializing, etc regularly.

Ever since, leaving my *niche* in high school, I've managed to lose myself... completely. All confidence is gone, and motivation has ceased to exist. I don't paint/take photos, socialize (at all), read much, and I feel exhausted often. I feel my opinions are out-dated, and that I haven't been exercising myself intellectually, socially, spiritually, etc. I don't know how to fix this growing void, or what direction to take.

How does one go any direction, when you have basically become numb? I want to change, even if its just baby steps. :sad: I need help.
Start slowly doing the things you used to do one step at a time. Find something that you enjoy and get energy from. It sounds as thought you feel like everything has become static. Remember that life and yourself are not static, but they are in fact constantly changing. It can be scary getting to the "Static Zone", because it feels like you can never escape it... but you can.

You're still the same person, just a bit depressed. Do whatever you can to change that. Try involving yourself in something social -- it could be a group, or getting together with your closest friend, or whatever. Try doing that once a week or month or something to that effect.

Go out of your way to do something you don't normally do every day. Just for the heck of it, make breakfast for dinner. That's just an example. There's so many different things you can do in life. Don't feel limited. :) Life is exciting. Find something good that stimulates you. Make your own niche. ^_^

Perhaps keep your camera with you and take some pictures that you think mean something or you think are good.

Also, you might consider taking up something like swimming or jogging or walking. Some exercise can do some positive things. It doesn't just help you get fit, but it also helps you think and is somewhat of a mood stabilizer. It also gives you the feeling that, "Hey, I'm in control again."

The confidence is by far the hardest thing to get back. I suppose it's important to ask why you feel like your opinions are out-dated and why you feel so self-conscious. But you sound smart and intellectual and reasonable to me. I doubt your opinions are as out-dated as you think they are. Maybe you could try thinking about why you believe the things you do. Find the reasons why you believe them in the first place. If you've got good reasons, I don't see why they ought to be out-dated.

I think that little by little as you find yourself again, you'll gain more confidence. Right now you're probably unsure of things, and rightly so.

I know it's tough right now, but staying the the Static Zone is dangerous. Don't give up on yourself. From what I've seen, you appear to be a lovely person. ^_^
 

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sorry to hear this :(. if this is too personal to answer, no need to answer it - but are you feeling depressed? did you go through something really difficult before you felt numb? physically, do you feel weaker, less able to cope with stress?
 

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Sounds like depression (minor depression, but depression none the less).

Force yourself to do things you used to like. Break the inertia. You'll get in the flow, and things will improve slowly. Give yourself small precise goals, and reward yourself when you achieve them.


Only thinking about it wont change the situation (I speak from experience).
 

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Sounds like you got bored. Try finding something else to do, or find a way to challenge yourself in your fields. "I'm going to paint using only black, pink, teal and a cat..." or "Imma' take the best photo there ever was of cranerries!" or "I wonder if I can find a hilarious Russian author?".
Does that mean putting paint on a cat and painting with it? Perhaps dipping its tail in teal, putting a canvas behind it, and making said cat mad? Forcefully picking up a cat and rubbing it on the canvas? Putting the canvas in a sunny spot and acquiring a cat who likes to roll on the ground (and of course putting paint on the cat)?
Cure for at least minor sadness = mental image of painting with a live cat.

I agree with the suggestions to start doing things you used to enjoy (and new things you think you could be interested in) slowly. Especially I suggest trying exercise. I actually think of exercise as a natural mood/energy enhancer, and that way of thinking is pretty good motivation to go out running.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
Update:

I've been following everyone's suggestions (and some of my own) and i've been doing much better. I've felt much more confident in the last couple months, and may possibly completely myself again by early next year. The foundations are almost re-built now. So woooo ''grats to me, and thank you guys!
 

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@jadedtortoise
Sounds like you'd grown so used to being part of a group mindset and somehow forgot who you are/were without having a place of safety in routine and familiar people. As you've started doing it seems like your focus is individuation and questioning life goals, alongside the company you keep as a reflection of yourself (asking the questions: how does the group or this life decision affect me long term?, what can I bring to a situation without giving up too much of myself?, how do I overcome this rut?, what can I expect in return to feel valued?, am I around others who support my growth or interests?)

It seems like you need very little encouragement, so I'll leave it up to you to decide if self help books, growth books or Jungian psychologies help.

*Well done you:happy:*
 
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