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13 Posts
Hi guys,
I'm in a fairly new relationship with an INFJ and I need a bit of help.
The stage we're at is we've said the 'L' word.
Firstly, what does this mean to you when you say it to your SO?
Secondly, I just questioned my INFJ earlier today (we're able to be very honest with each other and upfront) and I asked, or rather stated a concern, that if he were in front of a genuinely nice/attractive woman - which is fine by me, I'm not a jealous or possessive partner - and they got on well and she was romantically interested in him, should she lean in for a kiss, I doubted whether he would pull away - whether that be because he sensed perhaps she needed or wanted this affection or because he didn't want to offend said lady or make her feel rejected.
I also said, I wouldn't be totally surprised if one day he found himself in the situation where he found himself 'unintentionally' involved with a person - as in, without trying. Just getting close to someone and suddenly realising it had taken on a more romantic inclination...
Here's the thing, he didn't say no. He simply stated, 'I do sometimes read that persons needs/intentions and it may well be that affection, someone to talk to etc.. is something they require...' and then went on to say that he and I were NOT unintentional and he fell for me for the right reasons. And then the general, stereotypical INFJ bumph - he doesn't fully understand himself, he's sorry for the person he is (I hate when he does that as I LOVE him for the person he is), sorry he's such a 'fuck-up' - but hey, aren't we all a little effed-up somewhere along the line? Er, yeah.
Alcohol had been consumed (him, not me) so I'm not sure if he even took my concern in the correct way? I perhaps shouldn't have said what I said to him - though I figure, I do love him a lot and these are things I want ironed out now, I don't distrust the him at all, I fully believe at this precise moment he's completely devoted to me and would not actively seek or pursue other women romantically, or he wouldn't have said he loved me right? Or am I wrong on that too?
I mean in all honesty, I can't see he'd have the emotional stamina to become involved with another woman, and an 'affair' is not really what I was asking him about OR concerned about - I was just asking, if he had a female friend (and he has quite a few) were to make a move and smack the lips on him, would he make an effort to pull away and say 'Sorry, I have a girlfriend who I love very much' or would he go with it becuase he does have warm feelings for her, as his friend, as well as for perhaps not wanting her to feel rejected etc..
I should have kept my big ENTP mouth shut right? Uh, yeah, thought so.
I'm in a fairly new relationship with an INFJ and I need a bit of help.
The stage we're at is we've said the 'L' word.
Firstly, what does this mean to you when you say it to your SO?
Secondly, I just questioned my INFJ earlier today (we're able to be very honest with each other and upfront) and I asked, or rather stated a concern, that if he were in front of a genuinely nice/attractive woman - which is fine by me, I'm not a jealous or possessive partner - and they got on well and she was romantically interested in him, should she lean in for a kiss, I doubted whether he would pull away - whether that be because he sensed perhaps she needed or wanted this affection or because he didn't want to offend said lady or make her feel rejected.
I also said, I wouldn't be totally surprised if one day he found himself in the situation where he found himself 'unintentionally' involved with a person - as in, without trying. Just getting close to someone and suddenly realising it had taken on a more romantic inclination...
Here's the thing, he didn't say no. He simply stated, 'I do sometimes read that persons needs/intentions and it may well be that affection, someone to talk to etc.. is something they require...' and then went on to say that he and I were NOT unintentional and he fell for me for the right reasons. And then the general, stereotypical INFJ bumph - he doesn't fully understand himself, he's sorry for the person he is (I hate when he does that as I LOVE him for the person he is), sorry he's such a 'fuck-up' - but hey, aren't we all a little effed-up somewhere along the line? Er, yeah.
Alcohol had been consumed (him, not me) so I'm not sure if he even took my concern in the correct way? I perhaps shouldn't have said what I said to him - though I figure, I do love him a lot and these are things I want ironed out now, I don't distrust the him at all, I fully believe at this precise moment he's completely devoted to me and would not actively seek or pursue other women romantically, or he wouldn't have said he loved me right? Or am I wrong on that too?
I mean in all honesty, I can't see he'd have the emotional stamina to become involved with another woman, and an 'affair' is not really what I was asking him about OR concerned about - I was just asking, if he had a female friend (and he has quite a few) were to make a move and smack the lips on him, would he make an effort to pull away and say 'Sorry, I have a girlfriend who I love very much' or would he go with it becuase he does have warm feelings for her, as his friend, as well as for perhaps not wanting her to feel rejected etc..
I should have kept my big ENTP mouth shut right? Uh, yeah, thought so.