Personality Cafe banner

1 - 8 of 8 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
657 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
would you care for someone to tell you? how would you feel?what would you think you might do?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
17,819 Posts
It's a double-edged sword.

One of my "friends" was a jerk and racist behind my back back in high school. Basically, he used the age old "He's a Muslim, he doesn't drink, so let's not invite him out to bars and clubs" excuse to alienate me from my best friend.

No one told me ... they just stopped calling and talking to me for 6-8 whole months - and who knows what kind of shit was cooked up about me behind my back.

Anyways, I just got fed up with the "oh, we're just not meeting up anymore" excuse [considering that that was a huge lie because we would get together everyday till that particular racist joined the group.]

I just literally banged down my best-friend's door with the intention of telling him to get his f***ing ass out of the house and face me otherwise I was gonna break his f***ing door and beat the living sh*t out of him :p

That knocked some sense into him and he fessed up that they had stopped inviting me out because I was a Muslim.

Well --- I didn't care at the point. I was more concerned with how my best friend had allowed himself to be manipulated by a racist. In any case, I ended things with the racist there and then, and since I valued my best friend, decided to stick with him.

Also, by handling things maturely, I discovered that he was really a she, and therefore that was another reason why she had decided to keep away from me - because she was afraid that cross-dressers would be looked down upon in my culture. So I explained to her that I loved her despite everything.

Anyways ... what I'm trying to get at, is that any situation can be handled maturely with an open mind. I think that the best way to resolve the situation is to just take a few steps back and listen more than talking. The inherent urge is to just fight and fight back because an intuitive mind is very much capable of drawing all kinds of conclusions about other people and the reasons why they do things --- but it's not always accurate.

You haven't given any details of the situation --- so I'm really going to suggest trying to gather as much data and information about the situation through keen observation and gentle asking of questions. Defensiveness is an inherent pull, and accusations lead to counter-accusations, which lead to more defensiveness and everything just spirals downwards.

The idea is to get to the core of the situation without losing ones head - and that's the best general advice I can give at this point.

In the end, I just have to say that it'll depend. I'd rather find things out on my own, because in doing so, I'll be less inclined to react aggressively. If I'm told, then I'm not really discovering anything on my own and not coming to my own conclusion. If I'm told, then my opinion and judgement has already been influenced by the judgement of the person who has told me.

Power of suggestion is a powerful tool in instigating more anger, and forcing a loss of perspective even through good intentions.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
126 Posts
Btw, Muslim is not a race. Muslim culture is markedly different in several ways form American culture and religion, and is usually frowned upon, especially after, let's face it, 911. I do not condone or agree with discrimination and racism, as a person of color. His/her reasons may have been cultural, and if so, then he is entitled to do so. People shouldn't be friends if they don't share interests/beliefs, and u shouldn't want to be friends with people that dislike what you are about!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
17,819 Posts
Btw, Muslim is not a race.
Yeah .. I've heard this argument touted about recently. The only purpose of this argument is to try to justify discrimination against people of ideological beliefs using the claim that religion is an ideology and not a race.

Still doesn't mean that people of a different religion cannot be discriminated against.

Also, if actually you read my post, you'll realize that racism was involved because I am both from a different culture [brown] as well as of a different [religion]. The assumption that I would not like to participate based on what was thought to be a religious belief was used as a basis to not only stereotype, as well as to deny me access to my own friends as well as to influence my friends' attitude towards me. This is bordering on manipulation and manipulation of that kind can only come from hate speech about me as a person from a different background, when I had given no indications that my cultural background had any role to play in my friendships, or desire to partake in any activities.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
126 Posts
Jawz:2344286 said:
Btw, Muslim is not a race.
Yeah .. I've heard this argument touted about recently. The only purpose of this argument is to try to justify discrimination against people of ideological beliefs using the claim that religion is an ideology and not a race.

Still doesn't mean that people of a different religion cannot be discriminated against.

Also, if actually you read my post, you'll realize that racism was involved because I am both from a different culture [brown] as well as of a different [religion]. The assumption that I would not like to participate based on what was thought to be a religious belief was used as a basis to not only stereotype, as well as to deny me access to my own friends as well as to influence my friends' attitude towards me. This is bordering on manipulation and manipulation of that kind can only come from hate speech about me as a person from a different background, when I had given no indications that my cultural background had any role to play in my friendships, or desire to partake in any activities.
Yea it's an interesting dilemma. What can be done when religion is so closely associated with race? What kind of discrimination is it really? Philosophically intersting. Otherwise man, ur preaching to the the choir, I don't like racism either!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
123 Posts
Sadly, my cousin exhibits strong racism he even teases me with my darker skin tone, but he doesn't blatantly hurt me or anyone. He just kind of likes to laugh at racist jokes and use them as a form of entertainment more than smite. Though sometimes, I fear for him cause he might offend someone.

He is an ISFP. LOL. Performer, indeed.

Though, I kind of feel detached from racist people. It kind of makes me quite racist if I hated them. LOL. They believe in what they believe in, so if I hated them for that, then I just turned into a hypocrite. If I make sense. XD The only time I really don't like it is when people intentionally use this to harm others. I don't like people getting hurt and I won't meddle in the beliefs of others, but if you hurt me or one of my friends, I will definitely pounce on you and you wouldn't know what happened and why you're in the hospital.

I would like to know if a friend of mine is racist. I wouldn't shun them away, but I'll keep a watchful eye and be there if in case they suddenly start blurting out insensitivity. For their own good, most probably. If it was me they didn't like then I'd let them decide if they want me out of their lives or if they're willing to accept me for what I am. No point trying something that clearly wouldn't work because of clash of beliefs and non-acceptance. I mean, the most basic component of my being is my race, if they can't accept that, they might like particular things about me, but they wouldn't feel fully comfortable with my presence. I'd rather we part than they force themselves with me. I'd be sad if they forced themselves. Genuine relationship is very important to me.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
17,819 Posts
Yea it's an interesting dilemma. What can be done when religion is so closely associated with race? What kind of discrimination is it really? Philosophically intersting. Otherwise man, ur preaching to the the choir, I don't like racism either!
Am I really preaching to the choir? Your first sentence indicated that you don't view religion as a race - and then subsequently tried to justify that it's ok to discriminate in friendships based on cultural/religious differences stating that people have a right to choose who they want to socialize with and if "culture" is a reason to discriminate between people then they are entitled to do so.

Well, if that's the case, then that's a society that will most likely evolve on the basis of exclusion, rather than inclusion. People do have the right to choose their friends, of course --- but the basis of that selection has to be justifiable and based on non-stereotypical factors such as visual observation of a person's skin colour, or a stereotypical assumption of a person's beliefs just because they identify themselves with a religious group. Even within people of a single religious group, not everyone has the same beliefs.

Also, then those people grow in strength and enveloped in fear preach to others to stay away usually touting all kinds of stereotypical BS and even lies in order to propagate hatred and eventually society devolves into one where its ruled by mass hysteria and mob-mentality.

As for your last question, the right not to be discriminated against based on race, religion, caste, creed .. heck even gender, age, mental or physical disability now falls under basic human rights ... and human rights charters are well-defined and practised - at least in Canada. Dunno about the rest of the world. Religious discrimination is against the law in Canada.

"15. (1) Every individual is equal before and under the law and has the right to the equal protection and equal benefit of the law without discrimination and, in particular, without discrimination based on race, national or ethnic origin, colour, religion, sex, age or mental or physical disability."

Section 15 of the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms
Constitutional Documents

The Ontario Human Rights Code also prohibits religious discrimination. You are entitled to the same opportunities and benefits as others and you must be treated with equal dignity and respect.

Your religious rights are protected in:

- Employment (e.g. job interviews)
- Housing (e.g. hotels, rental housing)
- Services, goods and facilities (e.g. restaurants, education)
- Contracts (e.g. cellphone contract)
- Unions, professional associations, and other vocational associations

You have the right to observe your religion unless it would cause undue hardship on the organization or person accommodating you. Undue hardship can include cost or health and safety concerns.
http://www.ohrc.on.ca/en/issues/religious_rights

http://www.settlement.org/sys/faqs_detail.asp?rss=1&faq_id=4001532
 
1 - 8 of 8 Posts
Top