[MilkyWay132]

If someone does something that goes against my values..I sometimes keep my mouth shut and don't say anything about it because I don't want to cause conflict. But other times, I've gotten a bit argumentive. I regret that later. I often want to see why another person believes a thing they do, but at the same time feel torn because I don't want to invalidate what I personally believe. What about you?

 

[Le9acyMuse]

I've come to a point where my thoughts are coming full-circle. I am much better at voicing my concerns. Someone violating a value of mine and eliciting a response from me tends to merely be a conversation starter. I like debating and batting ideas around. My approach to it is "bring it on." I have little reserve about speaking my mind, and I'm sure to weigh in all input.

Does pursuing someone's rationale tend to invalidate or make you question your own beliefs? I once was easily swayed when forming arguments. It was as if I didn't trust my own opinions enough. I matured and something developed. I think one's strength comes from discovering why he/she believes what he/she believes. What patterns have you put together? And there's your argument. And you can use it to get the insider on why others have formed their opinions. You can even take note of things they're missing which affect the stances they're taking (many times, people have no idea why they're advocating something).

But then, some people don't feel inclined to examine, and do better going with their own flow.

 

[davisk]

This morning while I was eating breakfast, a woman sitting near me was talking about how she wanted to legalize prostitution for 'economic reasons'. I was about an inch away from walking over to her and telling her how insensitive she was being. I would have probably started out polite, like "would you mind if i join this discussion, i think this topic is very interesting." but i would have first passive aggresively raised the intellectual caliber of the conversation and make it clear how serious i am about this and how rude it is to treat a topic so serious as basely as she did. then i would quote kant and aspire to crush her with the mighty fist of humanism. at this point, she probably doesn't care about this topic anymore and i end up standing over the table spilling coffee on myself and screaming at her about how she needs to take the rights of the individual seriously or else we will never be able to acheive practical happiness as a society. it ends with me storming off emarrased and angry. i'd probably cry in the bathroom for a little while, too.

 

[sunrisespirit]

*bitch slap*

jk
I really try to understand their point of view because everyone believes something for a reason
but if someone really ATTACKS my values...then bring it on bro...I consider that a personal attack

 

[Pannsie]

Well if someone says something that's against my personal values, more often than not I can feel a little flicker of anger, but usually I don't act on it, because I've never been good at arguing. But every once in awhile, I will just snap in the lamest way ever and state my opinion. And by every once in awhile, I mean once every year or two.. :U;; The most recent case was when someone made an incredibly racist status on Facebook, which was getting a ridiculous amount of likes. I was just like.. yeah no. This shouldn't be allowed to be ignored. It was just ridiculous. :c I was almost shaking from the stress and emotion of stating my opinion BUT I WOULD'VE HATED MYSELF IF I SAID NOTHING.

 

[firedell]

Sometimes I will get slightly upset/angry and say something, or leave it. You have to weigh up the situation, and decide whether you input will make it worse.

I will make sure people know with my body language though.

 

[paper lilies]

I pick my battles in this world. Some things are just not worth it.

Sometimes I may feel anger building up inside of my body but I generally do not lash out.
Sometimes I feel like, "don't involve me in this" if someone is trying to purposefully get a reaction.
However, if you hurt someone I love, the claws come out, baby.

 

[Sayonara]

I'm not one who gets in other people's faces if they violate a value of mine. Do I get upset? Yes. But I keep it to myself, knowing I have no more right to force what I believe on people than they do on me. If you're hurting my loved ones though, with said violation, I will tell you off and will do what I can to right things again.

Mind you it's taken a long time to master that. When I was younger, I was a lot more expressive with my beliefs. But all that got was people twisting and perverting my beliefs against me and making me feeling miserable and stupid. For a while, I was really lost because of that very reason. I've only recently found my footing again these last couple of years, and have remained much more reserved about sharing my beliefs as a result of what I've learned.

The rewards are tremendous, lol.

 

[Luftkopf]

It all depends on what it is that someone is treading on. If someone says something that I believe in is stupid, I may discuss it with them if they are in a rational mood, but if they're not, I'll just keep quiet. If someone oversteps a core value; If someone hurts my family or innocents, or some other close held value, then it's a different matter. I can't say that has happened often, but my acquaintances, and most of my friends, think I am a pushover, with no backbone at all. My family and close friends all know that I will fight tooth and nail for what I truly believe.

 

[Type B]

This morning while I was eating breakfast, a woman sitting near me was talking about how she wanted to legalize prostitution for 'economic reasons'. I was about an inch away from walking over to her and telling her how insensitive she was being. I would have probably started out polite, like "would you mind if i join this discussion, i think this topic is very interesting." but i would have first passive aggresively raised the intellectual caliber of the conversation and make it clear how serious i am about this and how rude it is to treat a topic so serious as basely as she did. then i would quote kant and aspire to crush her with the mighty fist of humanism. at this point, she probably doesn't care about this topic anymore and i end up standing over the table spilling coffee on myself and screaming at her about how she needs to take the rights of the individual seriously or else we will never be able to acheive practical happiness as a society. it ends with me storming off emarrased and angry. i'd probably cry in the bathroom for a little while, too.

I often worry that one day while out and about, someone one will come up to me and a
relative and start intruding on our conversation. Or ask if they could join in. I know if that happened,
I would get defensive and say "Yes, I mind. There's no room for you. Mind your own business, Stranger."

Nothing like that has ever happened though, thankfully. It would be unpleasant all the way around, for all involved.

 

[bellisaurius]

My values are a personal code I follow over what I consider to be common behavior, so that never gets enforced on others.

If I know a person, and I know their code, I might bring it to their attention, because I think it might make them happier in the long run.

 

[chwoey]

Lately I don't really do anything. Conflict is horrible to me... Unless it is online. I can stand conflict online. If someone violates my values that ends up hurting me, then I will cut them out of my life completely. I have a line and if you cross it I am utterly done with you.

When I was younger I would stand up for what I believe in though.

This morning while I was eating breakfast, a woman sitting near me was talking about how she wanted to legalize prostitution for 'economic reasons'. I was about an inch away from walking over to her and telling her how insensitive she was being. I would have probably started out polite, like "would you mind if i join this discussion, i think this topic is very interesting." but i would have first passive aggresively raised the intellectual caliber of the conversation and make it clear how serious i am about this and how rude it is to treat a topic so serious as basely as she did. then i would quote kant and aspire to crush her with the mighty fist of humanism. at this point, she probably doesn't care about this topic anymore and i end up standing over the table spilling coffee on myself and screaming at her about how she needs to take the rights of the individual seriously or else we will never be able to acheive practical happiness as a society. it ends with me storming off emarrased and angry. i'd probably cry in the bathroom for a little while, too.

Sorry... I know this is unrelated but wouldn't legalizing prostitution help the individual rights? I mean, realistically prostitution will always exist. It always have and it always will, it's in our history. The fact it is illegal is what makes it so unsafe and horrible for the women. If it was legalized we could regulate it and get rid of all the sketchy aspects that currently exist (the pimps, abuse, drugs, etc.). I'm curious as to the reasoning behind your stance...

 

[SocioApathetic]

This morning while I was eating breakfast, a woman sitting near me was talking about how she wanted to legalize prostitution for 'economic reasons'. I was about an inch away from walking over to her and telling her how insensitive she was being. I would have probably started out polite, like "would you mind if i join this discussion, i think this topic is very interesting."

You should have pretended to be full then politely shove the remnants of your breakfast down her throat for "economic reasons".

 

[bellisaurius]

You should have pretended to be full then politely shove the remnants of your breakfast down her throat for "economic reasons".

I rephrase my previous comment, I will, and have, enforced my personal norms if physical violence is being performed in my presence for reasons I consider inadequate.

 

[davisk]

@chwoey

She violated my personal views by failing to question the implications of a large-scale policy on the quality of citizen life.
As far as I'm concerned, no one, ever, ever, ever should EVER be forced to sleep with another person because they need money. As far as people who say 'well, what if prostitution was legal, and a woman chose to go in to the buisiness?'-- it just WOULDN'T HAPPEN. I honestly do not understand why anyone would ever consent to being physically violated by strangers day in and day out, risk contracting all sorts of STIs, etc etc when they had a choice. I can PROMISE you, if we go out and interview a bunch of prostitutes, we're going to find that none of them are doing it because 'they think it's fun.' or because they find it 'intellectually satisfying.' They became prostitues because it was the only thing they could do.
If we are going to try to fix THIS problem, the government needs to make MORE JOBS for people WHO ACTUALLY NEED THEM. And, needs to EDUCATE these women so they don't have to resort to this kind of work! (!!!!!)

By legalizing prostitution, the states would be saying they ACTIVELY value (mostly) men's rights to have sex with a woman and pay for it MORE THAN (mostly) women's right to choose who they have sex with for personal reasons. Paying the rent this month DOES NOT COUNT AND WILL NEVER COUNT as a good reason for choosing to have sex with someone. Prostitution excuses mixing matters of the wallet and matters of the heart. These are different things. I could never live in a place where those values were mixed up together; where a traditonal expression of love can be bought for personal pleasure. DISGUSTING.

If this were to happen, I would either have to spend every moment of my life from then on protesting, or actually leave the country. I would never be comfortble with it.

Whew. Got a little fiery there, and I'm not going to apologize. I really care about this.

 

[davisk]

I often worry that one day while out and about, someone one will come up to me and a
relative and start intruding on our conversation. Or ask if they could join in. I know if that happened,
I would get defensive and say "Yes, I mind. There's no room for you. Mind your own business, Stranger."

Nothing like that has ever happened though, thankfully. It would be unpleasant all the way around, for all involved.

I think my Fi emergency button is a little sensitive... I tend to go off like this alot... best not talk about politics around me just in case...

 

[chwoey]

@davisk ; interesting opinion on the matter. Its great and all, but I think a little too idealistic. It's nice you feel so strongly about it though.

 

[INFJoshua]

Lately I don't really do anything. Conflict is horrible to me... Unless it is online. I can stand conflict online. If someone violates my values that ends up hurting me, then I will cut them out of my life completely. I have a line and if you cross it I am utterly done with you.

When I was younger I would stand up for what I believe in though.



Sorry... I know this is unrelated but wouldn't legalizing prostitution help the individual rights? I mean, realistically prostitution will always exist. It always have and it always will, it's in our history. The fact it is illegal is what makes it so unsafe and horrible for the women. If it was legalized we could regulate it and get rid of all the sketchy aspects that currently exist (the pimps, abuse, drugs, etc.). I'm curious as to the reasoning behind your stance...

i don't have an exact opinion on what the laws for this should be, but I am afraid. There are already too many women forced into this life style who don't want to be there. I feel like if it was made legal SO many more poor girls would have this expected of them, and be pressured to sell themselves by family and friends, but on the other hand the women who are already forced into this are not getting the protection and help they need.

Your reply just got me thinking...

 

[LotusBlossom]

depending on the situation/subject being discussed - either withdraw, set them straight or fisplode.

 

[Type B]

I think my Fi emergency button is a little sensitive... I tend to go off like this alot... best not talk about politics around me just in case...

Sounds like you need to learn better self control. Believe me, I'm as passionate about my ideas and *values* as any other ISFP, but I'm not going to nuts and get overly emotional just to get my point across.

And judging by your last sentence..... it's not the obligation of other individuals to keep from talking about something they're passionate about just because you're around. That's asking a little too much of people.

Besides, you can't be so naive to think that EVERY SINGLE prostitute is forced into it. I'm not stupid, and I know that a lot of them take up this profession because they feel as if they can't do anything else. However, I have personally known two that didn't mind their occupation at all. One woman was a "high priced escort" who said "the sex is good, but the money is even better". The other woman I spent some time talking to, she had a child, but sent him to live with his grandparents because she didn't want him around while she was "working". She was a very beautiful woman, and according to her, she was very good at what she did. There was no shortage of men wanting her services, and she liked having the ability to pick her customers. She even had a list of some of her favorite, repeat clients. When I asked her why she did what she did, her response was that she loved physical intimacy, and getting paid for it (as well as receiving gifts from men who wanted her to become their "one and only") made it all the more worth it.