There's been too many ups & downs.... I'm not sure I'd want to go back & change stuff, because then it would just be different ups & downs.
I did the best I could with what I knew/had at the time & how emotionally mature I was at the time. I mean, sometimes I think I should've studied something else in college, or taken time off to travel first, etc; but then I remember why I made the decisions I did, and I can't see myself making different decisions unless I had the knowledge of how those things would turn out in the future, and even then, the decisions I made may still be better than their alternates.
I don't think of myself as any kind of victim, but I look at a lot of bad turns in my life & see CIRCUMSTANCE leading to them as much as bad decisions (if not more so). There are so many variables in life that are uncontrollable & unpredictable - "stuff happens". I look at many decisions and see the same outcome no matter what I would've done; it was just unavoidable given what I had to work with.
I mean, I had to move back in with my parents after I lost my job (the business went under). I was already looking for other work before that happened & had a savings to live off of for a bit in case of a few months of unemployment...I did my best to prevent what I didn't want to happen, and I still ended up there. What could I go back & change that is really in MY control and not at the mercy of circumstance? Not much, and not enough to make a real difference.
But playing the game.... I enjoyed childhood, especially age 7-10 or so, and I wouldn't mind living that again. The teen years were rough...if I was forced to re-do them, then I'd want to be more confident in myself & less withdrawn, less of a loner in fear of exposing my vulnerability. However, all that time spent in isolation, in painful existential examination of myself & everything, was time I spent forming who I am. I sort of emerged from that cocoon with a rather advanced-for-my-age understanding of people & life. I'm not sure first-hand experience interacting with peers would've given me those insights. So I wouldn't want to relive that nor change it...