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This is more aimed at ESTP guys in particular, but any girl ESTPs also feel free to chime in :) I'm just interested in your way of behaving in this kind of situation.

If you like a person as more than just a friend and see them around daily would you go for it?
Would you need some kind of signal or reassurance or just think fuck it and give it a go anyway?
For you, would it be worse potentially creating an awkward situation in the future/ruining a friendship, or not going for it at all when there might have been something there?

Thanks for taking the time to respond! :)
 

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This is more aimed at ESTP guys in particular, but any girl ESTPs also feel free to chime in :) I'm just interested in your way of behaving in this kind of situation.

If you like a person as more than just a friend and see them around daily would you go for it?
Would you need some kind of signal or reassurance or just think fuck it and give it a go anyway?
For you, would it be worse potentially creating an awkward situation in the future/ruining a friendship, or not going for it at all when there might have been something there?

Thanks for taking the time to respond! :)
I have always kinda subscribed to gender roles, so I've always waited for the guy to make the first move. If I were a guy, I would definitely go for it if I thought that the object of my affection was interested.

I never like missing an opportunity so given the choice, I would rather have it not work out and face some temporary awkwardness than to risk missing the opportunity altogether. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. A lot of times someone who may not have been interested initially is won over in the long run.

Based on my own experience, I think that ESTPs have a hard time accurately reading INFJs. I massively misunderstand the INFJs that I know IRL, and it takes me longer to figure them out. I don't know if it's true across the board, but it is for me.
 

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Yeah, personally I do go for it. I love to flirt so many times people may think I am interested, but in reality I am not pursuing anything more than friends. If I like someone I pretty much just let them know that I like them, and would like to pursue things further with them.
 

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This is more aimed at ESTP guys in particular, but any girl ESTPs also feel free to chime in :) I'm just interested in your way of behaving in this kind of situation.

If you like a person as more than just a friend and see them around daily would you go for it?
Would you need some kind of signal or reassurance or just think fuck it and give it a go anyway?
For you, would it be worse potentially creating an awkward situation in the future/ruining a friendship, or not going for it at all when there might have been something there?

Thanks for taking the time to respond! :)
I'm personally curious too as to how the ESTPs are with this. I'm also ST and share some traits with some ESTPs so maybe this would be a tiny little bit relevant - I myself would go for it without considering it could be awkward later, if I get impatient enough. Now if this isn't just an acquaintance but is about a good friend I've known for a while and if the interest gets strong enough then I know the possible price to pay is that I will have to cut them off if it doesn't work out well. It's not about simple awkwardness at that point though, it's way worse a thing. I can't be around a member of the opposite sex who's attractive enough as just a friend anyway, unless I keep them at very much an arm's length. If that distancing strategy fails to work at one point then the above is what has to be done, go for it and take the risk or don't go for it and definitely leave. The former is still better, at least I give it a chance then. I was kind of in this situation once. Ended with me dropping the person also because they handled the situation in a pretty shit way.


I have always kinda subscribed to gender roles, so I've always waited for the guy to make the first move. If I were a guy, I would definitely go for it if I thought that the object of my affection was interested.

I never like missing an opportunity so given the choice, I would rather have it not work out and face some temporary awkwardness than to risk missing the opportunity altogether. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. A lot of times someone who may not have been interested initially is won over in the long run.

Based on my own experience, I think that ESTPs have a hard time accurately reading INFJs. I massively misunderstand the INFJs that I know IRL, and it takes me longer to figure them out. I don't know if it's true across the board, but it is for me.
I actually go for it but yeah, I'd like to try this gender role thing too. :cool:

Your reasoning is good about not missing an opportunity. I agree.

The last part uhh... I have a hard time with them too, this is very similar to what I experience. :crazy:
 

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i pursue if i observe something that makes me think they are interested, or if a situation (sometimes created) arises in which we are chatting

... but i never cold approach girls to pick up on them... thats weird and usually they go in defense mode.
 

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My boss is ESTP
He sees me every few days at work meetings or when I go to the regional office.

He basically hit on me by making small talk about what we have in common which is operations and managing. Given everything in the media right now on male bosses exploitation of women I think it was kinda ballsy. Honestly I just let him keep talking because I found it amusing. And I liked him.

I myself decided to back away for a bit. I need some distance while I establish my site and build my portfolio. After I build my portfolio I would probably re engage. I don't need distractions. Plus he is my boss and right now it's vital to show my ability to problem solve. It's harder to set those boundaries on intel if your fucken the boss.

Anyways I notice with him he can be sorta selfish about being hot and cold. (These are traits I see in myself too actually). That was another reason I decided just to step away for the time being. Because I kinda think he like likes me and I am not putting up with his bachelor shit. (I am single myself). He likes emotional attention which I do not usually seek or give without more on the table. Fucken is one thing but if you want me to come hug you and tell you everything is going to be ok, that'll cost extra :laughing: (not money) talking about investments
 

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first of all, you need to be confident in yourself
as a girl, confident in your face and your physique, that you have a personality that is attractive to guys (whether that be cute, hot, cool, anything positive like that work really)
be confident but realistic, if you confident but youre ugly, well theres plenty girls out there whos confident AND beautiful, so youre not scoring enough here, but confidence is good
i mean work on your makeup girls, dress nice, cute voice, hit the gym, you will score most guys unless its those intps who literally dont care, but whatever its not like they have abs
 

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disagree 10000% this kind of bullshit advice is whats wrong with the world.
doing makeup is actually fun artistic experience if some girls are not about that, its fine

if you think makeup affecting your health and you dont want to makeup, its fine

if you want to compete with other girls, not for guys but just generally looking better, well the girl with makeup on is usually looking better than the girl without, lest be real here, unless the makeup girl does her makeup really shitty/unprofessional

most girls guys assume dont have makeup on and have "natural beauty", actually just have natural makeup on, guys just dont know enough to realize that, or that they already have their eyebrow tattoo, or eyelash extentions

i do have girl friends who dont wear any makeup, and they dont look ugly, they are actually pretty, but noone notice their prettiness, it doesnt stand out or special, until i put makeup on them to make their already pretty structures stand out then ppl notice that they are actually pretty, trust me i have done a lot of makeover for my friends (as they ask me to)
 

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theres nothing wrong with makeup, but its a mask... its not REAL... if you gain confidence from your mask, then your confidence isnt real either.
confidence is conditional
successful people are more confident than non-successful
guys with shredded abs are more confident than guys without
you work for your confidence, its not just in you for no reason, well unless youre those optimistic and ignorant folks, or kids, ect.
 

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What kind of confidence are we talking here? And what objective is the confidence for?

Having make-up gives confidence in a limited area, IMO. For the purpose of being attractive specifically (where it's only one aspect, too). It does not make you more confident in other areas of life e.g. confidence for achievement for the ability to excel in things or to gain financial advantages, or for personal confidence for actually getting somewhere with life. Or even confidence in people skills for interacting socially.

The original argument from @salt "i mean work on your makeup girls, dress nice, cute voice, hit the gym, you will score most guys" would not get me far in those other areas.

It's still good to have a bit of make-up to make your face look better, of course. Along with the good body from working out and the good clothes. So yes an overall good look is definitely important and is a must, but it's like, why is this emphasized without anything else. But maybe I just am not familiar with bad feelings coming from a bad (especially if distorted) body image or whatever and so I am failing to see some larger significance of this aspect of confidence?
 

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if your answer to catch guys is 'more makeup and do a cute voice'... then i disagree.

working out, staying fit.. that brings real self confidence, because its something you've earned, as you pointed out. the other shit is fake. good luck keeping it up for the rest of your life.
 

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if your answer to catch guys is 'more makeup and do a cute voice'... then i disagree.

working out, staying fit.. that brings real self confidence, because its something you've earned, as you pointed out. the other shit is fake. good luck keeping it up for the rest of your life.
it may depend on culture and stuff, the things i mention work for me, in the place where im living, i live in southeast asian, so its definitely much different from the US
of course i do workout apart from makeup and faking my voice, but my girl friends dont work out and they still got guys by makeup and voice, they just dont get respect and cause sexual arouse like i do lol, since their butt is flat and stuff you know, but theyre still cute as hell
 

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I wasn't talking about any grand philosophical thing either, lol. By "shallow" do we mean relationships mainly for sex? :kitteh:
short term relationship
unserious relationship
im a cheerleader, youre a soccer star, we’re goals so lets make ppl jealous type of relationship
you know the kinds
 

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it may depend on culture and stuff, the things i mention work for me, in the place where im living, i live in southeast asian, so its definitely much different from the US
of course i do workout apart from makeup and faking my voice, but my girl friends dont work out and they still got guys by makeup and voice, they just dont get respect and cause sexual arouse like i do lol, since their butt is flat and stuff you know, but theyre still cute as hell
haha, ive lived 5+ years in asia, i know what you mean. most of hte US is the same in terms of females putting high priority in modifying their appearance. all im saying, i dont like it and i think its a problem. you gonna wear that makeup all the time? do that voice all the time? when do you let the image drop and show the real you? when you scammed a dude into marriage?
 

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haha, ive lived 5+ years in asia, i know what you mean. most of hte US is the same in terms of females putting high priority in modifying their appearance. all im saying, i dont like it and i think its a problem. you gonna wear that makeup all the time? do that voice all the time? when do you let the image drop and show the real you? when you scammed a dude into marriage?
idk about other girls, but i let my boyfriend see my real face in the first night we cuddled up together, which was like the first day into the relationship, and my real face was kinda dry and like a monkey haha, but he was just “meh”
he still hasnt heard my real voice tho, because i dont even have a real voice, i can do low pitch to high pitch voice easily and idk which is real anymore haha, and i just think cute voice makes the relationship more romantic, so why not keep you know
 
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