If you've been depressed/suicidal & got over it, how readily do you share this info?

2311 Views 26 Replies 20 Participants Last post by chrisu, May 5, 2012

Vexed

Discussion Starter · Apr 29, 2012

If you've been depressed/suicidal & got over it, how readily do you share this info?

I'd assume friends would know.

Co-workers? Acquaintances? Teachers? Peers? Classmates?

What does it mean (for/in regards to your relationship with that person) if you tell them, irregardless of what category they are in?

1 - 20 of 27 Posts

candymountain

· #2 · Apr 29, 2012

Hey, well, normally I don't go around stating this lol so this is a big deal, but I have had uhm, issues, with this... and I tell NO ONE. I haven't told classmates, acquaintances, peers, co-workers, it was in part of an essay that I wrote just last quarter and that was the first time I had ever said a word about it to anyone other than therapists and people who already know because they were there. If you tell someone that information, (imo) it would be because you want to be close to them and trust them.

In society around me at least that's EXTREMELY looked down upon and I would never go around stating it, i don't even know why I'm saying anything about myself here lol.

Vexed

Discussion Starter · #3 · Apr 29, 2012

candymountain said:
Hey, well, normally I don't go around stating this lol so this is a big deal, but I have had uhm, issues, with this... and I tell NO ONE. I haven't told classmates, acquaintances, peers, co-workers, it was in part of an essay that I wrote just last quarter and that was the first time I had ever said a word about it to anyone other than therapists and people who already know because they were there. If you tell someone that information, (imo) it would be because you want to be close to them and trust them.

In society around me at least that's EXTREMELY looked down upon and I would never go around stating it, i don't even know why I'm saying anything about myself here lol.

Well it's sorta anon here.

Is someone telling you this meaning they trust you? I was told they've become more confident as of breaking out of it.

candymountain

· #4 · Apr 29, 2012

Vexed said:
Well it's sorta anon here.

Is someone telling you this meaning they trust you? I was told they've become more confident as of breaking out of it.

Well, expressing feelings towards it would be moving on somewhat at least, but I think it's more like coming to acceptance about it not so much breaking out of it. The reasoning is because it's sort of a shame thing if you don't want to talk about it, because you will feel like you're going to be judged. If someone told me that they had tried to commit suicide/thought of committing suicide before I would for sure believe it's because they trusted me and believe I wouldn't judge them about it.

Reactions: 1

hylogenesis

· #5 · Apr 29, 2012

If someone bothers to ask me, I'll typically tell them unless I don't like them or it's a large group setting.

Worriedfunction

· #6 · Apr 30, 2012

Never told anyone....never will. Oh wait I just did.

goodgracesbadinfluence

· #7 · Apr 30, 2012

I'll tell them if there's a reason. If we're close and we're on the topic.

CoopV

· #8 · Apr 30, 2012

I only tell people I'm close to but once in an art class when it was the subject of some paintings I was honest and explained it had happened to me before. It can be seen as I feel close enough to my classmates or like I'm looking for pity. One particular girl seemed jealous or annoyed that I was open about it I guess because she clearly has had issues but isn't as open about it. I wasn't looking for pity at all I was just being honest and open which an art class I think is a suitable place to bare your soul.

Vexed

Discussion Starter · #9 · Apr 30, 2012

goodgracesbadinfluence said:
I'll tell them if there's a reason. If we're close and we're on the topic.

So what if they bring it up on a tangent and prior to this, you weren't close?

Adriana

· #10 · Apr 30, 2012

I usually say something when the subject comes up and I trust the other people. But I know talking about your past depression makes a lot of people uncomfortable. I just don't see the use of that. Sometimes it creates a bond and sometimes it alienates people, it's not so hard to tell when one or the other will happen.

Impermanence

· #11 · Apr 30, 2012

I've never actually told anyone. I have been contemplating it off and on for the past month or so. The only people I have even told are you guys. Maybe I am just a stubborn typical ENFJ who acts like everything is fine when it's really not.

Reactions: 1

goodgracesbadinfluence

· #12 · May 1, 2012

Vexed said:
So what if they bring it up on a tangent and prior to this, you weren't close?

I may allude to it but I wouldn't go in-depth. It would also depend on how much I trust the person and how much of himself/herself the person had revealed.

Alaya

· #13 · May 1, 2012

I don't like telling other people about my own personal issues, I mean, what good will that do? It's not like they can help or understand you, so why bother. I've had very deep issues with depression and suicidal thoughts, but I was always able to deal with them myself and no one outside ever had any idea of what went through me, so meh, it's better like that.

Cat King Cole

· #14 · May 1, 2012

candymountain said:
Well, expressing feelings towards it would be moving on somewhat at least, but I think it's more like coming to acceptance about it not so much breaking out of it. The reasoning is because it's sort of a shame thing if you don't want to talk about it, because you will feel like you're going to be judged. If someone told me that they had tried to commit suicide/thought of committing suicide before I would for sure believe it's because they trusted me and believe I wouldn't judge them about it.

Yeah, it's easy to be ashamed of yourself for various things, including depression and having been suicidal, or psychosis.

I don't go around shouting from the rooftops that I used to be depressed, or that there was this one time I was suffering from mild psychosis, but any time it comes up like trying to stabilise someone threatening suicide, or complaining of depressive symptoms, I'm not afraid of bringing my former depression up. The psychosis doesn't really come up unless I'm talking about my my pet topic, schizotypy, but then I guess I need to feel like it's a casual chat with people I'd at least like to be my friends.

Curiously

· #15 · May 2, 2012

I typically or historically have remained mum about my bouts with depression. My dad, however, asked me point blank about half a year ago if I was depressed. I told him I wasn't at the time but added that I do frequently encounter depressive spells. To that, he answered, "I do, too." I found this short dialogue very powerful because I realized it wasn't so necessary for me to keep silent all the time about my being depressed at times. Nowadays, while I still maintain more privacy over my depressive spells, I'm not as adverse to letting some people know, especially if they are kind enough to reach out first. I still believe it's best to be self-reliant in such matters, but we're human and social beings, so I think it's important not to remain silent about one's depression or suicidal state if it becomes intolerably unmanageable.

Drewbie

· #16 · May 2, 2012

I tell people when our relationship is close enough that we're talking about our histories in detail. I have a very long, prominent history of trauma and suicidal behavior, it's nearly impossible to talk about my life and not address those topics without being completely superficial or lying. I am perhaps more open about it than I should be, but I hate feeling like I'm hiding parts of myself when there's pressure to be ashamed of those things. The stigma against those to attempt suicide probably pushes me to be open about it.

LadyO.W.BernieBro

· #17 · May 2, 2012

Good lord, what?

I wouldn't tell anyone but immeidiate family and very close friends, especially not coworkers.

Are you supposed to...?

LadyO.W.BernieBro

· #18 · May 2, 2012

Also if a "peer" or acquaintance told me this I would avoid them afterward.

Krissie

· #19 · May 2, 2012

Well, if you have depressed thoughts, that isn't normal. Do you feel well? First, start taking a multivitamin every day. Add also Vitamin C. D, E and Calcium. Basically, take vitamins. Also purchase the over-the-counter antidepressant St. Johns Wort. Add vegetables, especially salads and eat a variety of different colored vegetables and fruits at all times. Next, get out in the sun every day for 1/2 hour, every day. The sun gives us vitamin D, very very important to "over-all" feeling of well-being. How about physical activity? Do you get any? This whole internet revolution is keeping people isolated a bit too much from other people. Lastly, find a good friend and tell them your feelings. It will make you feel better just to tell someone your deepest thoughts. Do this religiously day after day. However, if you are dreaming up ways to kill yourself, you need more help. You need a therapist and probably a Psychiatrist which will find stronger antidepressants for you. All of these things are not easy to do. It's a lot when you are not used to taking care of yourself. However, it's the "better" alternative over depression/death or drug/alcohol/prescription addiction.

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Spades

· #20 · May 2, 2012

During those years, I told no one but my boyfriend. It's been 5 years since I got better and I don't usually bring it up unless asked/topic comes up. My family still has no idea. It's definitely a lot easier to talk about the further in the past it gets, but I usually only share with those who can be mature about it.

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