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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
I'm a male ENFJ - what type WILL I marry?

Hi All, :happy:

I am a male ENFJ with relatively strong scores for each attribute. That's all I have discovered about my (MB) personality type, so far.

What personality type best fits a male ENFJ, in a romantic relationship?

Really looking forward to the thoughts of the forum!!


Person1
 

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None. marriage is dead - feminism killed it.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
haha - Sockratees, spoken like a true philosopher. Given this is all theory, humor me on this one ;)
 

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INTJ 5w4 Sx/Sp
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Find yourself a cute ISTP and go from there.
 

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Thanks, Blue Soul. Straight up - but why do you suggest an ISTP, I wonder?
According to socionics your dual is supposed to be the most desirable long-term relationship. This is due to having the same cognitive functions, but in reverse order (Fe-Ni-Se-Ti for ENFJ and Ti-Se-Ni-Fe for ISTP). It can be compared to speaking the same (psychological) language, but accentuating different strengths of it. Or being two sides of the same coin, but these halves have to spin together and move in the same direction, at the same speed.

ENFJs probably have an easy time getting along with anybody though, especially with other intuitives. No need to limit yourself, you can have a successful romantic relationship with any type as long as you're both loving, mature, willing to work hard, compromise, all that jazz.
 

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Someone you love and can be yourself around with, no matter what type (you think) that person is.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
According to socionics your dual is supposed to be the most desirable long-term relationship. This is due to having the same cognitive functions, but in reverse order (Fe-Ni-Se-Ti for ENFJ and Ti-Se-Ni-Fe for ISTP). It can be compared to speaking the same (psychological) language, but accentuating different strengths of it. Or being two sides of the same coin, but these halves have to spin together and move in the same direction, at the same speed.

ENFJs probably have an easy time getting along with anybody though, especially with other intuitives. No need to limit yourself, you can have a successful romantic relationship with any type as long as you're both loving, mature, willing to work hard, compromise, all that jazz.
Very interesting and great description, Blue Soul. Thanks for that, mate.
 

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try not to focus on a type. If you go round looking for your perfect match, thinking that, since you're an ENFJ you should be looking for that type or that other you might fail to consider some other pretty good options
 

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The one you love and that you want to marry.

Some matches might be more effective than others on paper but it's all irrelevant.
Don't let people or a pseudo-psychological theory dictate your life and your future.

Before being 'four letters' a person is a person and hunting down specific types seems pointless to me.
If you want to marry someone, marry the person that you know is right for you and with whom you want to share a lifetime with. Trust me, it's all inside of you and when you find them, you'll just know.
 

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The idea is controversial here on Per C

but natural partners for ENFJs are INTPs and INFPs
The iNtuition being the meeting of the minds for the pairing.

Some also subscribe that you can pursue your opposite ISTP... people do this successfully...

As an INTJ my natural partners are ENFPs and ENTPs. ENFPs have the qualities I desire in a partner, and I personally don't put too much investment in the idea of an ENTP. Reason being ENTPs aren't know for being great with emotional support, emotional support is something I strongly desire. Nonetheless I really click with them as friends.
I can do well on a friend basis with ESFPs... but there are certain things that don't do it for me personally, I could not date one just given my envisioned ideal.

All in all it's a subjective matter really. I recommend doing some soul searching. Pull out a piece of paper and a pen, and write down the qualities you desire in a partner in terms of character. See if this constitutes a personality. Go from there. Or read up on your natural partners and see what you like.

Read into the dynamics, look for people's stories here on PerC and online. YouTube may also be a good source. I find EJ Arendee does very good basic break downs.
 

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I intend to hunt down (nah, more like attracting through synchronicity and --well, rather calculated gambling of chance) an ENxJ male, as plans are.

For ENFJs, the 2rd and 3rd functions being the same as ENTJs should allow a measure of compatibility and similarity in thinking and functioning on day-to-day basis. As long the Fe/Fi are addressed (respectfully) it might work very well. I'm a 'softer' breed of ENTJ however, the ennea 3w2 functions like a bootleg Fe (I'm having fun by being as dry as possible in my replies here, since my ENTJ label somewhat allows me so. IRL I'm far less.. acerbic).

So yes, try looking into ENTJs. We bark (and bite) a lot but it's how... we measure people.
 

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The one you love and that you want to marry.

Some matches might be more effective than others on paper but it's all irrelevant.
Don't let people or a pseudo-psychological theory dictate your life and your future.

Before being 'four letters' a person is a person and hunting down specific types seems pointless to me.
If you want to marry someone, marry the person that you know is right for you and with whom you want to share a lifetime with. Trust me, it's all inside of you and when you find them, you'll just know.
I agree with this.
@person1 Hope I didn't come off too stiff. Like others said it's not the type that's the most important part. ^^
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
I intend to hunt down (nah, more like attracting through synchronicity and --well, rather calculated gambling of chance) an ENxJ male, as plans are.

For ENFJs, the 2rd and 3rd functions being the same as ENTJs should allow a measure of compatibility and similarity in thinking and functioning on day-to-day basis. As long the Fe/Fi are addressed (respectfully) it might work very well. I'm a 'softer' breed of ENTJ however, the ennea 3w2 functions like a bootleg Fe (I'm having fun by being as dry as possible in my replies here, since my ENTJ label somewhat allows me so. IRL I'm far less.. acerbic).

So yes, try looking into ENTJs. We bark (and bite) a lot but it's how... we measure people.
Thanks for your thoughts, Vinatas.

To be honest, I'm not well versed in that breakdown, beyond the 4 letter attributes. Could you please explain the "Fe/Fi" point above, in a less technical way? What would need to be addressed?

I am a 3 for enneagram's. How does this compare to my "Fe"? -- If these questions don't make sense to you, than they probably don't to anyone, as I have a pretty small understanding on this whole world and want to expand that biz!
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
Yeah, @Blue Soul, I totally agree with all posts describing the importance of factors outside of MB / enneagrams to make a decision on marriage potential. The main purpose of my post is to pick the brain of this community, posing a theoretical question, based on theoretical tools.

I'm not actually seeking guidance on who I should marry. I'm seeking a better understanding of how to use the MB framework to make logical connections between the different personality types. Probably should have layed that caveat out initially - and proof-read my title to remove mistakes haha I'm just trying to learn how to best use this framework (theoretically).
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
But also, if a super cool chick does come into my life after I figure this business out... I wouldn't hate that. Hucci
 

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My sister is ENFJ, she seems to find alotta FP types to manipulate. Lol I was joking, yet I am pretty sure they are FPs.

Honestly we have questioned as a family how she always manages to find such idealistic people that try and win her favor by being her grunt. No I am not saying all FPs are like that (not at all saying that) I am stating the potential power of an ENFJ over this type.

I guess ENFJs powerful persuasion skills seem to attract very idealistic types again not all of them. I read an article about ENFJs being the most influential in starting a cult.

Anyways I hope this didnt invite anyone to take offense as I was not suggesting on any level all people are like this of any of the types.
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
Thanks, @LondonBaker. Absolutely controversial! That's part of why I'm interested in hearing responses. From my research on this topic, I have had basically 50% of all the types suggested as a potential partner for an ENFJ. No one seems to have a clear formula for this pairing.

Do you think INTPs and INFPs are the natural partner of ENFJs only because of the Intuition piece?
 
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