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I'm confused and stuck can you help me?

362 Views 11 Replies 3 Participants Last post by  ThrThAway
Hi all. I've known about the MBTI for a couple of years and I still don't know my type, I know about the theory, types, their descriptions. I've made countless type me posts/videos, I always tried to make things clear for one last time, I have failed.

The reason I thought it would be worthy to try again is that I've gained new perspectives from my girlfriend of 6 years. She is mentally healthy unlike me so finding her type was rather easy; Her type is INTP. I made her took all the tests, the official one, cognitive function test etc. INTP descriptions fits perfectly, behaviours and characteristics of INTPs fits perfectly.

Over the years people said I might be INTJ, ENFP, INFP, ISFP, ISTP. In the earlier stages, everything suggested INTJ, tests and people on reddit. After I know more about the INTJ type, I became suspicious, nobody who helped me with my type convinced me, and I valued their opinions more than mine because they were more informed on the subject than I am.

So how did my girlfriend made me see new perspectives on the subject? I'm 18, we've met when we were around 12-13. I thoughts she really knows me very well, so she could give me facts about myself.

After reading her the INTP descriptions, I read the INTJ ones too, asking her if they fit me. Surprisingly she said they did perfectly and she wasn't skeptical, she was pretty confident about her thoughts. I still didn't believe so her I am.

I will list down some of the characteristics of INTJs, they are only on this list because she said that I have them. Her observation.

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-People seeing the confidence on ideas as arrogance
+Cliché but yes. I think sometimes I seem like a arrogant bastard on somethings, but she says its more than "sometimes". It might just be my fault.

-Inner knowlodge systems most INTJs start to build at an early age
+Researching what's interesting to me and solving problems by utilising this knowledge.

-Several areas of in depth knowledge

-Perfectionist

-Asking "Does it work?" on everything

-Doesn't like authority, rules, little respect for people in authority
+Who does like rules? I think People should be respected not because they are in a superior position but based on how good at what they do

-Theorizing based on the knowledge they build
+She says a lot but I don't think I do that, that much

-Capable of caring deeply for a selected few
+I think everyone is like that. She also says I'm not very good at emphaty but I disagree.

-Hating small talk and flirtation
+I don't have any idea about hating small talk, It's not something to hate or love, It's just a mandatory thing to do. On the flirtation aspect I enjoy giving small clues to the person that I like them. We didn't magically started dating when we first met, I believe it took one and half a year or more.

-Extremely private

-Showing less emotion, being less emotional
+This is a big subject. This is something I disagree but she says I show no emotion to the outer world and I'm not emotinal at all. She says I don't even have facial expressions, that things happen inside me and doesn't reflect outside. But I disagree and I think I am emotinal, and I'm certain I have Fi. It's one constant thing that doesn't change in my type me posts.

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So after this, I thought about learning about diffrences between INTP and INTJ. I will list the things that fit me.

-Disregards irrelevant information
+If it is not needed for the job.

-Weigh facts and make a final decision
+I really don't know any other way to do this.

-Makes organized plans
+I agree. I research how to do it the best way, learn and obtain everything needed for me to achieve the desired thing.

-In younger life creates strategies to be less vulnerable
+This is something we agree on %100. I've dealt with this my whole life. I thought I showed too much kindness and emotion, people started taking advantage of me so I ended it. I was very easy-going, people didn't respect me, so I realized being cold a little bit is the way to go. Also the INTP, in younger life creates strategies to defend against being wrong. That's very true for her.

-More willing to play social / status games
+I did this a lot, trying to see how people will react and finding best way to just "be".

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I also want to give an example in my life that happened a few days ago. This is why I think I'm too F to be an INTJ.

I have this childhood friend We don't see each other very much, we're not very close. He is 18 also. He lies a lot, the reason for this I think he likes to live his fantasies. He's really delusional, he doesn't do it for the fun, he believes his lies. He was like this even when he was a child. Anyway we come across each other.

I ask;

M: What are you up to?

H: I got marreid.

M: Well good for you my man. What about school?

H: I quit a few years ago. I have a baby 20 days old. She got pregnant and We got married.

etc. etc. Talk goes on. He says he works for a shady man tells me that his wife is in some other city, visits her by a personal plane of this shady man everyday. He works at the tire seller down a few streets, and the shady man he says he works for is kinda famous in our country, there is no possible way for him to even see him let alone being acquaintances, and that man probably doesn't have a fucking personal plane.

Lol okay.

He might even be schizophrenic. He's pathetic and miserable. No school, no money, no family, bad life choices. He gets happy by living his fantasies. I can see it in eyes that he's very good at convincing himself and the only thing that make him happy are his lies. I resist the urge tell him, "You're in no good condition, why did you quit school? Stop with all that bullshit I don't buy it"

But I don't destroy the little moment of happiness he's having. I let him live his fantasy. I say "Good for you", "Well done", "What a person you are!", "Cool".

This is why I don't think I'm INTJ.

There is one more thing I want to talk about, it's the future. I'm good with guessing what will happen next. It happened so many times and she confirms it. I've said "I told you" a lot of times.

Final

I thank everyone who is willing to help, who read all of it. What do you think about my type?
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Hiiiii ThrThAway~

You have plenty of Fi. But whether or not you're going to express that to anyone is a different story, especially if you really are an INTJ. Emotions are strictly private unless it's a deep S.O. or something.

She also says I'm not very good at emphaty but I disagree.
I can see it in eyes that he's very good at convincing himself and the only thing that make him happy are his lies. I resist the urge tell him, "You're in no good condition, why did you quit school? Stop with all that bullshit I don't buy it"

But I don't destroy the little moment of happiness he's having. I let him live his fantasy. I say "Good for you", "Well done", "What a person you are!", "Cool".
Seems like Fi empathy there. I don't quite understand what you mean by being too F to be an INTJ. INTJs can be quite sensitive and emotional, they just don't express it very much. As quoted here:

This is a big subject. This is something I disagree but she says I show no emotion to the outer world and I'm not emotinal at all. She says I don't even have facial expressions, that things happen inside me and doesn't reflect outside. But I disagree and I think I am emotinal, and I'm certain I have Fi. It's one constant thing that doesn't change in my type me posts.
You just confirmed it. Outside opinion pointing out you keep your emotions strictly to yourself. Even in your facial expressions.

There is one more thing I want to talk about, it's the future. I'm good with guessing what will happen next. It happened so many times and she confirms it. I've said "I told you" a lot of times.
Classic Ni.

I think sometimes I seem like a arrogant bastard on somethings, but she says its more than "sometimes". It might just be my fault.
I will continue under assumption you're INTJ. And I wouldn't exactly say you're arrogant, but INTJs are confident in what they know as well as what they don't know.

Also the INTP, in younger life creates strategies to defend against being wrong. That's very true for her.
Yeah, Ti is all about logical accuracy and precision.

Ni:

  • focus: observing context and interpreting meaning
  • explores meaningful patterns from different perspectives
  • cultivated through making inferences based on vaguely familiar patterns
  • maintains a flexible and interpretive approach to life, carefully filtering words, concepts, signs, symbols, metaphors, abstractions in order to construct a personalized vision/theory of the world
  • values knowledge/objects that have personal symbolic significance or predictive power (tend to have interests that strike others as unpredictable)
  • driven to seek out meaning, truth, insight, knowledge
  • makes decisions based on extrapolating future developments
  • defines true knowledge in terms of understanding how meanings, perspectives, or standpoints can be manipulated or changed (mental constructs are real but arbitrarily defined, therefore a change in definition can produce a change in perspective)
  • knows that exploring perception itself: 1) strengthens the power of imagination and reveals the boundaries/limitations of what is known, 2) makes progress in the external world by pinpointing and questioning the (faulty) underlying assumptions that underpin belief systems, 3) anchors the self by imbuing personally significant concepts, ideals, values, or theories with a reality of their own, 4) reduces conflict by honoring truth, authenticity, and long term vision
  • defines social relationships in terms of realizing “ideals” (how people live up to their latent potential)
  • interprets social relationships through meaningful actions that affirm the quality/strength of the relationship
  • inspires others by being the focal point of people’s sense of mystery regarding the unknown or unexplored aspects of human existence

Healthy Te

Healthy Te should turn Ni’s attention towards the external world. Through Te, Ni can make better judgments and expand the sense of self through examining useful and effective principles and standards. By using more objective standards to evaluate situations, Ni can find better ways to adapt subjective vision to external demands. It is especially important for Ni to examine enough perspectives with enough depth to arrive at more accurate intuitions about the world.

Healthy Te should serve to compensate for inferior Se by helping Ni to understand why it is important to gather more factual data and evidence to verify one’s intuitions about how the world works, rather than immediately rejecting certain perspectives in favor of keeping with one’s established vision or ideals. When Ni can understand the benefits of using intuition to achieve goals with greater skill, confidence, and efficiency, INTJs will feel less isolated and more connected to the universal truths of the world. Ni should realize that it is necessary to engage fully with the external world because intuition is firmly rooted in the tangible reality of the present situation, rather than compulsively deferring to some empty conceptual understanding of the world/future.

Healthy Te can also enhance the ability to reach greater levels of insight and competence by making Ni more focused and systematic in how it learns and adapts to situations.

Unhealthy Te

When Ni resists Te, it closes itself off to understanding how things actually work in the real world and, as a result, severely restricts itself to situations that are comfortable or aligned with subjective vision. These INTJs will tend to behave in ways that seem isolative, indecisive, or needlessly defensive, ignoring important areas of life that require further development.

When Ni overindulges Te, it becomes excessively critical or controlling because it is too desperate to achieve order and efficiency. These INTJs are prone to being aggressively judgmental, relentlessly driven, or taking on too much responsibility, failing to care for their own or other people’s well-being.

Whether resisting or overindulging, both cases exemplify immature ways of exerting superficial control over the real or imagined threats of the external world. Long term unhealthy Te behaviors will eventually lead to imperviousness to outside influence, feelings of incompetence or worthlessness, and emotional isolation.

[HR][/HR]

Any of this connect with you?

Hope this helps, kachow! :cool:
I can both relate well to Ni and the unhealty Te.

It helps thank you but I still can't be sure, I've posted the same thing on reddit, several posts like this actually and they all had diffrent ideas. ISFP, INTP, INTJ, INFP. What do you think is the next best thing to do to be certain about this?
There's no evidence in this particular OP that reveals any INFP/ISFP/INTP characteristics. You would have to point out to me what specifically led others to type you as such.

You said you disregard irrelevant information and focus only on what is necessary to get the job done, is this correct? This is a distinct lack of Ne, which INFP/INTP thrive on. Considering possibilities and discourses just for the sake of it sometimes. Do you notice this openness to discourse with your gf?

While ISFPs develop Ni in their middle years, it is not necessarily a keen ability to perceive unfolding events into the future. Its more of a drive to improve/perfect approaches to their passion, not the ability to see interconnectedness in a web of patterns. This is possible for ISFPs but not as much as INTJs.

My mother is quite expressive as an ISFP, I would have to assume emotionality "leaks out" moreso with ISFPs than INTJs.

Perhaps post your reddit examples on here or link me to them? I doubt you are a leading Fi or Ti.
-Disregards irrelevant information
+If it is not needed for the job.
This is Te. I don't even need the rest of your post (although I read it of course).

INTP's don't care about what they job is. They don't want to solve a problem, they want to build a consistent reasoning. INTP's can work on something for a long time and then proclaim that they're done, without actually having solved the problem.

Honestly, everything you said above is more consistent with INTJ than anything else. Seems pretty much on point to me.
There's no evidence in this particular OP that reveals any INFP/ISFP/INTP characteristics. You would have to point out to me what specifically led others to type you as such.

You said you disregard irrelevant information and focus only on what is necessary to get the job done, is this correct? This is a distinct lack of Ne, which INFP/INTP thrive on. Considering possibilities and discourses just for the sake of it sometimes. Do you notice this openness to discourse with your gf?

While ISFPs develop Ni in their middle years, it is not necessarily a keen ability to perceive unfolding events into the future. Its more of a drive to improve/perfect approaches to their passion, not the ability to see interconnectedness in a web of patterns. This is possible for ISFPs but not as much as INTJs.

My mother is quite expressive as an ISFP, I would have to assume emotionality "leaks out" moreso with ISFPs than INTJs.

Perhaps post your reddit examples on here or link me to them? I doubt you are a leading Fi or Ti.
Oh well there are a couple of posts and very long discussions. People thought I have strong Fi, and in general conversation I use too much "I feel" "I want" etc. I made a video type me post too, they said ISFP.

On the Ti side, there was this question asking me to explain a fun memory. My father is a mechanic, He explains me how engines work, I ask questions, he answers etc. I enjoy learning and thinking about how engines work, what can I do after I know how it works or things that interests me in general. So someone said ISTP right of the bat, that seemed a little bit biased to me but I'm certain I have Te.

They were pretty sure about me being a Fi-dom though.
This is Te. I don't even need the rest of your post (although I read it of course).

INTP's don't care about what they job is. They don't want to solve a problem, they want to build a consistent reasoning. INTP's can work on something for a long time and then proclaim that they're done, without actually having solved the problem.

Honestly, everything you said above is more consistent with INTJ than anything else. Seems pretty much on point to me.
What's the point if one's not actually going to solve the problem?
What's the point if one's not actually going to solve the problem?
Understanding the problem is its own reward for Ti-users. If you can provide a generalized solution for abstract problems you can in theory solve any problem.
It won't make much sense to any Te-user, but it's just the way Ti-brains work.
Oh well there are a couple of posts and very long discussions. People thought I have strong Fi, and in general conversation I use too much "I feel" "I want" etc. I made a video type me post too, they said ISFP.

On the Ti side, there was this question asking me to explain a fun memory. My father is a mechanic, He explains me how engines work, I ask questions, he answers etc. I enjoy learning and thinking about how engines work, what can I do after I know how it works or things that interests me in general. So someone said ISTP right of the bat, that seemed a little bit biased to me but I'm certain I have Te.

They were pretty sure about me being a Fi-dom though.
Well, unless you provide links to the other posts you've mentioned, I'm stuck with only the information you've provided here. And thus I'm going to stand with you being INTJ as Drecon has stated. Your response to his post further confirmed your Te, along with you showing signs of Ni and INTJ characteristics.

He explains me how engines work, I ask questions, he answers etc. I enjoy learning and thinking about how engines work
Ni. Or at least some perceiving function, I'm assuming Ni here as sponge absorbing information.

what can I do after I know how it works or things that interests me in general.
Te. Utilizing resources/external facts to make plans of action.
Well, unless you provide links to the other posts you've mentioned, I'm stuck with only the information you've provided here. And thus I'm going to stand with you being INTJ as Drecon has stated. Your response to his post further confirmed your Te, along with you showing signs of Ni and INTJ characteristics.



Ni. Or at least some perceiving function, I'm assuming Ni here as sponge absorbing information.



Te. Utilizing resources/external facts to make plans of action.

Hey! Can you help me again?


It's quite complicated because of my mental state. Conflicts I have about who I am really, that's why I look for the answer in others, like my girlfriend.

So, I have a basic, and superficial understanding of the functions, but with the help of the google I will write the points I agree and the points I don't.

Ne

Random possibilities, diffrent perspectives, I can agree on that. I read about someone who is Ne dominant, and her thoughts/her thought method/energy is so diffrent than mine, I thought I had this new ideas, mind energy etc. behaviour but after reading the post I realized I'm nothing near that. Discussing many ideas rather then one, I don't agree with it, I'm not like that.

Ni

I'm good with understanding the hidden meaning in everything, the main idea, seeing something more than what it is. I can really say this is one of the my best abilities. This is something I'm inclined to. On the future aspect, I said "I told you" a lot. When someone doesn't believe what I say, after I said this a lot. I realized now actually nothing too unexpected happened in my life. I always have an idea that I can't explain for such things. I knew I had Fi and all the evidences say that. I'm also good with thinking about something's past, how it's evolved to its state now, and how it will proceed. "This leads to this", I've used that structure in my sentences a lot. I used to have plans/can be said superficial visions about myself even after 30 years and I'm mentally so deep in shit because I don't have any long term goals, anything valuable I can work, any meaning in who I am (that might be Fi though). I read somewhere about INTP and INTJ diffrences, INTP creates stragies against being wrong while INTJ creates strategies to be less vulnerable but. Second one is exactly me.

Ti

Forming an internal network about how the world works, finding patterns about how things will develop. I agree on these. %100. I do enjoy learning about hows and whys of things. I don't care much about details/information that is not needed for the job though. This contradicts with Ti I believe? While I do want things to make sense, if they don't make sense and it's not important for the goal if they make sense or not, I won't care, I can't care. Like fixing someone's grammar mistakes, I can understand, so what's the point?

Te

I do deal with organizing and understanding the external world. Even when I was a kid, I didn't even complain once about organizing my room, tidying up things, categorazing my books. I also don't have patience of unproductive activies. I want everything to be done for a purpose, in the best way. It kills so much when I mindlessly surf on the reddit, watch youtube videos. I actually think I know and can learn how to do x in the best/correct way. I don't just start what I do, I research how to do it. Pro-Con style, a big YES.

I asked my father (mother passed away), and my girlfriend about how I make decisions, if they are based on logic or my emotions. They all agreed on I make decisions the most logical way, and I was always like that. My father said when we talk about your plans for the future, you always sound logical and consistent.

Fi

We're sure about the Fi aspect. I realized something about myself. I don't express emotions even though I deeply feel them and someone on another site said that INTJs can be quite sensitive and emotional, they don't express it much.

Si

Recalling past. I do that a lot but I may be influenced by my family. They are all good with past, they enjoy remembering it. That's a depression symptom they might all be fucked like me lol. I am not very tradition oriented but I do have my rituals, principles, traditions, my best way of doing things. I'm not a hard worker. Although I can be pretty rigid when trying to accomplish my goals that are important to me. My father is a very clear Si dom and he tried to impose his mindset upon me a lot. We don't get along in a lot of subjects, we argue a lot. I do enjoy nostalgia but new things are more exciting. An observation a friend of mine made is that when I try to learn more about something I first learn its history. I believe the reason for that is so that I can understand how it is now in its current station.

Se

Not into experiencing new sensations. I don't live in the present, rather in past and the future but I don't "zone out". Not into adrenaline. On the thinking quickly, responding immediatly aspect. I am like this. I am the man in risky situations, I can take lead when everyone is losing their minds. Power aspect, yes I desire power and social status and orginzing the outer world motivates me.

ISFP. I read that they're not good leaders. I can be a leader when I think its needed when I think its needed. I can be assertive in that situation when I know I know better.

INFP. Being sensitive. I know I'm in touch with my emotions but I'm not sensitive, I'm very thick skinned. I improved myself to be like that.

INTJ. My girlfriend thinks that with a confidence percentage of 100. I read her the cognitive functions, type descriptions, she is sure about this. This is why I'm trying to especially test this a lot, comparing INTJ with myself etc. In my opinion it seems apt to me also.


So what do you think? Thanks for reading it.
INTJ, it hasn't changed.
Okay thank you so much!
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