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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
i recently missed my offer for university and so decided to embark on the great australian adventure of 2010 this year..

it's just that i've realised that my A Level results weren't good enough to go to the unis i REALLY want to go next year.. the places where i felt like all the people at the open day seemed awesome and the place generally had a very comfortable vibe to me.
but there is no way i'm sticking around for another year just to redo my A2s, i'm bored of this town and i would literally kill myself. even my aussie adventure doesn't seem like a good idea anymore..

welcome to the insane world of ENFP life possibilities..
i feel like everything has to be the best it can be, and that by missing out on the unis i really wanted i'm somehow now in some sort of crisis. my head says stay cool, but my instincts are going haywire because i've missed such good opportunities.

this thread is basically a plea for help from the more wise of this world ENFPs (almost all of you in fact) for a flailing young ENFP with his head in a knot :frustrating:
 

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I can relate to your frustration with putting off decision-making and therefore missing important opportunities. I tend to do that a lot, and always end up kicking myself.

With that said, I'm not sure if you're asking for advice here, or just looking for support-- what exactly is the decision you now have to make? Maybe I missed it, but it seems like you're not left with a choice now that your options have disappeared.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
i'm being insane right? i mean, right now it seems like missing out on the unis i really wanted is soulcrushing, but surely it can't be that bad.. i mean you never hear anyone bemoan the fact that they missed the uni they really wanted to go to- but at the same time my mind is being childish about the university options left to me, in that i kind of see them as the cheap toys your parents buy you as a kid whilst you're jealous that all the neighbourhood kids have gotten scooters. tbf i'm sure ill have a good time at uni anyway, but the fact that the choices i thought would be perfect for me are out of reach really sucks- and i can't shake that feeling no matter how hard i try.
 

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Hmmmm...it took me a moment to understand your concern. Maybe this will help;

I went through a similar thing years ago. I ended up attending a university which was not my first choice. Anyway, after a year at the academic grindstone and making a whole pile of great friends, I found myself still bothered by the fact that I had missed out on my number one choice of school. After that first year, I actually managed to transfer over to my number one choice. So, I left all my new friends behind and headed off for greener pastures. Whahoo !!!! What a MISTAKE ! I hated it ! I soon realized I had made a huge error in judgement. But it was too late, the decision was made.

By the end of that miserable year I dropped out entirely and pursued other interests for several years thereafter (thankfully not a mistake). However, the day eventually arrived when I decided to go back to school. So where did I go? I went back to the original university where I had left all my friends behind. Of course my friends were all long gone by that time. But I still ended up loving that school. It showed in my academic performance too.

Moral of the story; Don`t be so sure that the best school for you has already been missed. One never really knows about such things.

I say go Down Under and have the time of your life ! Don`t let your current niggling disappointments distract you from what is really important. Namely, the opportunity to grow and move forward in your life - however you may choose to do it. Where you go is not nearly as important as what you do once you get there. Academics or adventure; either way make it count !
 

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Discussion Starter #5
thanks so much wildheart.
it's ok, i knew from the moment i created this thread that what i really needed to do was come to terms with the fact that i let myself down a bit, and now i was going to pay the price. but your story was of great comfort. i won't ever be able to get rid of the feeling that my gut said i missed out since my gut is usually never wrong about people and places.

oh and just to clarify- i'm going to Australia on gap year this year and applying for a choice of university in the UK when i return :happy:
 

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Hah, my situation was wierd when it came to school. I knew it would be hard for me to stick with it, the six years in post-secondary I'd have to spend to get the job freedom and cash in my pocket I want, so I just chose a university, chose a program and just put my blinders on and went for it.

Emotionally I still haven't thought more about my career path then what I did five years ago in first year while walking 30 seconds to the bus stop and deciding I'd get a psych BA, Marketing and Sales diploma and become some sort of marketing whiz. I just followed Nike and "Just do it".

It's turned out well though. I'm about a year away from being done the marketing thing, I have the BA, and companies are lining up to hire me straight out of school so I do get my freedom and hopefully my cash so I can be spontaneous and never worry about money again.
 

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Hey Tridentus,

You mentioned that you might never be able to shake the feeling in "your gut"...and that your "gut is usually right". This struck a chord with me - a powerful chord which I would like to share with you;

It is certainly true that ENFPs are very intuitive and sensitive people. We tend to "amaze" people with our abilities in this regard. Over time we come to trust and rely on our "gut" instincts more and more. But what I have discovered in my life is that even though my gut may be correct about something being amiss, it is not necessarily correct about precisely what is amiss, or what to do about it. Consequently, when applying judgement based on gut instincts, I have found myself to be famously wrong.

Now let me qualify this, and please take it FWIW. A time may come in your life (sooner or later) where you will be faced with decisions of significantly high risk. In those situations, especially where it involves long-term stress, we tend to rely on old faithful - our gut instinct. We feel safest doing this. It just feels right to us and actually helps to relieve us from a lot of the stress in making truly difficult judgement calls. Under these conditions our gut instincts tend to become increasingly strong; emboldening us in our choice of action (warning flag number one). During such times you must be especially suspicious of your "gut". It may be leading you towards catastrophe. You may not see it, or believe it... until it becomes hindsight. By then it is too late.

Our defense from this? Surround yourself with good people of sound judgement and ample experience. These will not likely be those with the best intuition or sensitivities. Take what they can offer you in terms of advice. If what they say goes against your gut, consider it to be warning flag number two. Tread carefully from that point on.

Again, FWIW.

All the best.
 
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