[Skye Alexa]

I am pretty sure my brain never shuts off, and I've been thinking a lot lately (past month), I have wondered about the existence of things. About how the rules of things only apply to contexts favored to those rules. And I have wondered for a while if this is all an elaborate scheme, people are such drones...and they must only foster me for the benefit of seeing me tortured in their organized ways, there are really no rules to be played by, they only say they care in order for me to tell them more so they can adjust their technologies to turn me into one of them so that I am their slave.

I don't totally believe this, but I resort to it under stress. I'm pretty sure my mother and grandfather are in on this. Does anyone else ever feel like this? Any advice? Or am I just downright crazy?

 

[Bago]

I think your brain is trying to quantify the world around you. take time out. Do not think. Just do things which enhances your feelings to that something. Do something nice for yourself to make yourself happy. Or do something nice to someone who you know will appreciate that gesture. When you do this, then you can see more and more of the people humane side. Each person is selfish. Well, one of my physics teacher once said to me that "All humans are selfish". Basically. However, amongst that basic selfishness, we are yet all the same too. i.e. we want to survive. So, we should not judge too harshly on a man trying to find money to feed his kids and wife. Yet, we should not also try and bully a younger person beyond their capability in order to show off our knowledge.

At the same time, this is something my own brother said which I thought was pretty profound in our old age... One should indeed do what one should at the age that they are at. Basically it means that if you are 16, then do something that you should for a 16 year old. Filter the rest of the knowledge, ideas, or whatever, cos they belong to someone older. If you are 35 like me, I should be thinking about finding a partner, starting a family etc. I should not listen to my younger cousins too much and get too involved in their dramas. Nor should I get too involved in my mom's dramas too, cos she has a different set of issues to deal with. As she is 70 soon. Yet, I can still give care, and i can still give them time, presence and attention. I just cannot give empathy, or too much sympathy. Giving understanding, and just acknowledgment is just as good too.

If you put each person into their age and group, then you won't have a problem on how you see them.. cos each of us have a "role" in society. There is no need to stress over what they say, cos they say it from the perspective of their own age and life experiences. You can filter out anything that you do not think meet your needs right now.

 

[Death Persuades]

I am pretty sure my brain never shuts off, and I've been thinking a lot lately (past month), I have wondered about the existence of things. About how the rules of things only apply to contexts favored to those rules. And I have wondered for a while if this is all an elaborate scheme, people are such drones...and they must only foster me for the benefit of seeing me tortured in their organized ways, there are really no rules to be played by, they only say they care in order for me to tell them more so they can adjust their technologies to turn me into one of them so that I am their slave.

I don't totally believe this, but I resort to it under stress. I'm pretty sure my mother and grandfather are in on this. Does anyone else ever feel like this? Any advice? Or am I just downright crazy?

I think you're paranoid. I'm not trying to make fun of you or anything, I oftentimes get paranoid over silly things that are insignificant to others but seem threatening to me. Unlike what Bago said, I would suggest you DO think. Think if what you are feeling makes any sense at all. Think whether these people would have any reason at all to do these things you claim. If you are arriving to that conclusion due to illogical or irrelevant thoughts, chances are you're just paranoid.

 

[Leonhi]

That is a reasonable observation from an INFP. And it isn't supported by the dominant culture, because they see themselves as logical and benign, and we are out of step in ways they don't understand. Imagine that you are trying to go down the up escalator at morning rush hour. We are in the way, and our freedom to be in the way, and to even think that it might be ok to be going down the up escalator is foreign to them. Their respsonse is always, "why don't you get it?". It's frustrating. Be kind to yourself, and try not to need approval from others who don't understand you.

 

[Skye Alexa]

Bago-I know what you're saying, but I don't think that everyone should be categorized by age. I'd also prefer to disappear altogether than have a role in society. Quite frankly, I just don't trust society. I could get killed out there.
josue0098-I might be, but I can't recall the last time I was totally interested in whatsoever by something logical.

 

[Skye Alexa]

Thanks, Leonhi. I feel less hopelessly crazy, for now anyway.

 

[dann]

Meditate more, think less. And think of my face while you masturbate

 

[Bago]

Bago-I know what you're saying, but I don't think that everyone should be categorized by age. I'd also prefer to disappear altogether than have a role in society. Quite frankly, I just don't trust society. I could get killed out there.
josue0098-I might be, but I can't recall the last time I was totally interested in whatsoever by something logical.

But you should categorise age. Cos each person has their own path in life and walks at different levels. You should not pitch yourself against their paths and overload yourself with information that is not relevant to your own path. The reason why I use "age" as a factor, it is so that you can exist in a world that can accept you too. At the moment, it is not the world is not accepting you. It is you not accepting yourself in the world. cos you are taking too much information, some relevant to yourself, but some irrelevant to yourself. Hence, you will never start to walk your own path too, if you take on information that should not belong to your own path. This creates "fear" in you, when you do so. It then stops yourself from moving forward. Or to even take that first step.

You do not trust society is because you are at the moment overloaded with information from others, and you think that is how the whole of society is. Well, it does not work that way. When you meet, see and interact with people, then you will begin to build up your own understanding, and not take on someone else's understanding or perception, or their own fear too. Society is a funny thing. You got to see it for yourself in order to understand it.

The way to not get killed is to find your own true self. When you have truth of yourself, then you won't feel this kind of fear in yourself. Hence my words about filtering. I now just do not deal with dramas, or other people's issues but solely focus on my own life and my own path. Doing so, allows me to actually water my own spiritual garden inside of me. It focuses me. It also means it does not breed fear. This is what most people try to do. To be themselves. When they do, they do not have this fear inside of them.

[Added]
Skye Alexa, you are not crazy... you are just trying to work out your own mind about the world, and trying to quantify or recognise the world around you and things like that. I call that growing up. Calling yourself crazy is a tad harsh, cos in reality, everybody self reflect, and does not necessarily share these kind of chaotic ideas to others. Well, actually, it is much healthier if they did do so... but... people are too scared these days now.

 

[Hindsight]

I am pretty sure my brain never shuts off, and I've been thinking a lot lately (past month), I have wondered about the existence of things. About how the rules of things only apply to contexts favored to those rules. And I have wondered for a while if this is all an elaborate scheme, people are such drones...and they must only foster me for the benefit of seeing me tortured in their organized ways, there are really no rules to be played by, they only say they care in order for me to tell them more so they can adjust their technologies to turn me into one of them so that I am their slave.

I don't totally believe this, but I resort to it under stress. I'm pretty sure my mother and grandfather are in on this. Does anyone else ever feel like this? Any advice? Or am I just downright crazy?

I think this is really funny because it's interestingly written. It seems to me that you're dealing with finding your individualism and looking at it through a sci-fi lens. That's pretty cool.

I'm assuming that you're pretty young, still in the care of your mother. (Sorry, if that's wrong.) But I would say that it's not easy being a nonconformist. Eventually, you'll realize that you have your own identity, your own path, and that the "rules" that are being pushed on you are only for your "benefit" even if it's not helping you any. Basically, they are trying to help you in the way they think people should be helped. They don't know any better because they don't understand you, and perhaps, even you don't understand yourself yet.

Yes, they are adjusting their attitudes to "help" you, and I can see how you might see that as some sort of evil manipulation, but I doubt that it's the case. Even my post can be seen as some sort of evil manipulation to make you into a renegade against the norm, but I'm only going off of the input you're giving me. So the only reason why you don't see this post as being manipulative (I hope) is because I'm "on your side."

Thus, the reason why you see their rules and machinations as an evil plot against you is because it goes against your values, and since you're an INFP, that probably feels like a direct attack. And when you're under stress, you are likely losing a sense of your identity (your values) and you're fighting to keep believing in who you are.

So here's my pat advice: figure out what triggers your stress and then try not to let it bother you so much or fix the situation.

 

[Leonhi]

excellent advice well stated.

 

[infpblog]

I am pretty sure my brain never shuts off, and I've been thinking a lot lately (past month), I have wondered about the existence of things. About how the rules of things only apply to contexts favored to those rules. And I have wondered for a while if this is all an elaborate scheme, people are such drones...and they must only foster me for the benefit of seeing me tortured in their organized ways, there are really no rules to be played by, they only say they care in order for me to tell them more so they can adjust their technologies to turn me into one of them so that I am their slave.

I don't totally believe this, but I resort to it under stress. I'm pretty sure my mother and grandfather are in on this. Does anyone else ever feel like this? Any advice? Or am I just downright crazy?

We live in our subjective reality. Nothing has meaning except what we assign to it. So you can assign whatever interpretation you want to the behavior of people in your life. However you choose to interpret in the world is neither good nor bad, it's just useful. Everyone interprets the world in a way that's the most useful to them, in a way that makes them feel better because objective reality doesn't really care.

What cause problems is when our old interpretations of what we observer hold us back from getting those things we want. And we're not willing or able to find new interpretations that serve us better. So don't thing about whether how you view things is right or wrong. Figure out if it's useful or not useful helping you create the life you want.

 

[gestalt]

I am pretty sure my brain never shuts off, and I've been thinking a lot lately (past month), I have wondered about the existence of things. About how the rules of things only apply to contexts favored to those rules. And I have wondered for a while if this is all an elaborate scheme, people are such drones...and they must only foster me for the benefit of seeing me tortured in their organized ways, there are really no rules to be played by, they only say they care in order for me to tell them more so they can adjust their technologies to turn me into one of them so that I am their slave.

I don't totally believe this, but I resort to it under stress. I'm pretty sure my mother and grandfather are in on this. Does anyone else ever feel like this? Any advice? Or am I just downright crazy?

Sounds vaguely accurate. Most of the people that impose rules think they are doing so for your benefit, rather than their own. My parents did the same sort of thing.

 

[Skye Alexa]

Thanks everyone