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I am pretty sure my brain never shuts off, and I've been thinking a lot lately (past month), I have wondered about the existence of things. About how the rules of things only apply to contexts favored to those rules. And I have wondered for a while if this is all an elaborate scheme, people are such drones...and they must only foster me for the benefit of seeing me tortured in their organized ways, there are really no rules to be played by, they only say they care in order for me to tell them more so they can adjust their technologies to turn me into one of them so that I am their slave.

I don't totally believe this, but I resort to it under stress. I'm pretty sure my mother and grandfather are in on this. Does anyone else ever feel like this? Any advice? Or am I just downright crazy?
I think this is really funny because it's interestingly written. It seems to me that you're dealing with finding your individualism and looking at it through a sci-fi lens. That's pretty cool.

I'm assuming that you're pretty young, still in the care of your mother. (Sorry, if that's wrong.) But I would say that it's not easy being a nonconformist. Eventually, you'll realize that you have your own identity, your own path, and that the "rules" that are being pushed on you are only for your "benefit" even if it's not helping you any. Basically, they are trying to help you in the way they think people should be helped. They don't know any better because they don't understand you, and perhaps, even you don't understand yourself yet.

Yes, they are adjusting their attitudes to "help" you, and I can see how you might see that as some sort of evil manipulation, but I doubt that it's the case. Even my post can be seen as some sort of evil manipulation to make you into a renegade against the norm, but I'm only going off of the input you're giving me. So the only reason why you don't see this post as being manipulative (I hope) is because I'm "on your side."

Thus, the reason why you see their rules and machinations as an evil plot against you is because it goes against your values, and since you're an INFP, that probably feels like a direct attack. And when you're under stress, you are likely losing a sense of your identity (your values) and you're fighting to keep believing in who you are.

So here's my pat advice: figure out what triggers your stress and then try not to let it bother you so much or fix the situation.
 
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