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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
Hi! I learned of the Enneagram six months ago and initially assumed I was a 3 or a 4. However, I doubted my initial conclusion after reading up on it more. Right now I think I'm either a 4w3 or a 7w6, although 1 and 3 aren't completely out of the realm of possibilities. I have a hard time deciding between 4 and 7, though, because I relate with both types' core desires, fears and motivations.
I thought it would be a good idea to consult other opinions, so I filled out one of the questionnaires. Please let me know if you have any other questions, and thank you for your time!


What age range are you in?
I'm 17.

Any disorders or conditions we should know about?
Not that I know of. I've seen a few professionals but I haven't been diagnosed with anything related to my mental health.

Main Questions

1. What do you think your life is about? What drives you in life? This can be something like a goal or a purpose, or anything else that comes to mind.
My goals change quite frequently. However, I've consistently been driven by a desire to pursue what seems fun and engaging at the time, instead of what is pragmatic and useful. I gravitate toward projects and undertakings that seem difficult, unrealistic or even impossible, because it's fun to do something new and exciting. To quote a character from one of my favourite television shows (Phil from Modern Family, in case anyone was wondering): 'It's fun to believe when no one else does.' I don't like the idea of structured commitments, like university and desk jobs, because they feel restrictive to me.

2. What were you like as a kid?
As a child, I was introverted, excitable, attention-seeking and very ambitious. I was talkative around people I was close to but incredibly quiet otherwise. I definitely had a bad case of Middle Child Syndrome and would often argue with my parents, because I felt I didn't get enough attention or approval. I spent most of my time reading and procrastinating on homework. My career aspirations changed often. By the time I was ten years old, I'd aspired to be an actress, musician, hotel owner, author and model. (As you might've guessed, I'm working toward a completely different career now.)

3. Describe your relationship with your parents. Does anything stand out about the way you interacted?
I have a relatively good relationship with my parents. We used to argue often when I was much younger but we rarely do now. I enjoy conversing with both of them because we can share our opinions and debate about current events, politics and religion. However, I don't think I can tell them anything, even though they say I can. I can't talk to them, or anyone for that matter, about my feelings, doubts or feats. I physically clam up when I try because I'm scared of how they'll react. I think that stem fears from how they used to react to my expression of my feelings, so I'm just hesitant to repeat that cycle.

4. What values are important to you? What do you hope to avoid doing or being?
I value individuality, independence, variety, loyalty and etiquette. I believe it's important to preserve your individuality and what makes you you, since it's so easy to change yourself to seem more societally acceptable and to fit someone else's definition of who you are or who you should be. Of course, I don't think you should go out of your way to be different, because that comes off as an attempt to stand out, rather than a means to actually preserve your individuality.

Secondly, I value and admire independence, because it shows a great deal of strength and courage. It's useful to accept help every now and then but I think it's far more rewarding to make decisions and act on your own, without help or input from anyone else. As I touched on before, I like and need variety in my life. I appreciate routines but I also get bored of them easily and would prefer something more flexible and unpredictable. I value loyalty because I think it's important to either follow through on promises you made or nullify them completely. I think it's unfair and selfish to convince someone of your trustworthiness, only to break a promise or go back on a decision you made.

Lastly, I believe it's necessary to follow certain etiquette in different situations, because it shows that you respect both yourself and the people you're with. I think that people underplay the influence and importance of good manners. In my opinion, it isn't an old-fashioned or restrictive concept. It's just a frame within which we should act to show that we're considerate of one another. It doesn't stifle individuality.

I hope to avoid being boring, uncultured and disrespectful. I like having fun and I enjoy making situations fun for other people as well, so it's pretty disheartening when I feel or believe other people think I'm boring. Since I value etiquette, I don't want to be uncultured. Out of all the three traits I said I'd hope to avoid being, I think I'd hate to be uncultured most. The way I present myself is very, very important to me, because it makes a good impression on other people and positively impacts my own opinion of myself. Finally, I'd like to avoid being disrespectful, because I think it's unnecessary to disrespect others. I believe you can respectfully disagree with someone and respectfully distance yourself from them, so there's really no need to be disrespectful.

5. Aside from phobias, are there any fears that characterized your childhood? Have they continued into the present day, or not, and if not, how have you dealt with them?
As a child, I feared being a disappointment to or burden on everyone around me. I thought that people would feel sick of having to attend to my emotional needs and wants and decide they didn't want to bother anymore. I also feared that I'd have to follow the path (university, internships, a stable job and so forth) expected of me. The first two fears didn't continue into the present day, for I realised I don't need people's acceptance or approval to feel worthy of my own. I realised that if people didn't want to bother with me anymore, I would be fine and perfectly capable of handling it.

6. a.) How do you see yourself? I think I'm a relatively interesting person but I agree that I can be high maintenance and exasperating at times. In terms of my strengths, I'd say I'm empathetic, polite, careful and ambitious. In terms of my flaws, I'd say I'm vain, ditzy, naive, conceited and high-maintenance.
b.) How do you want others to see you? I don't really have a certain image I want people to see. I'd just prefer that they believe I'm cultured and polite. I also like when people notice how vivacious and optimistic I can be, though I don't have a problem with it if they don't. I don't mind if anyone thinks I'm ditzy, naive or high-maintenance. In fact, I sometimes like when people think I'm vain (but I don't know why I do).
c.) What do you dislike the most in other people? I dislike it when people are ill-mannered, narrow-minded, aggressive, disloyal, untidy and careless.

7. Which habit do you most automatically act on? Rank the following habits from most to least automatic, on a scale of 1 (most) to 3 (least).
a.) Work for personal gain with more concern for self than for others. - 2
b.) Strive for a sense of tranquility in yourself and the world around you - 1
c.) Decide what is right for the betterment of something or someone else. - 3

8. Where does the wandering mind take you? What provokes this?
If I'm ever upset or overwhelmed, the wandering mind sometimes takes me to an idealised version of my life, where I'm completely content and comfortable. It's relieving to entertain an alternative reality for a little while but I try not to give it too much weight, because I don't want to disappoint myself; instead I think of it as a model of what to strive for when improving my life.
Sometimes the wandering mind can take me to a very, very dark place and I imagine the worst possible things happening. It's awfully frightening and used to keep me up at night sometimes. Thankfully it rarely happens now.

9.What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?
I feel my best when I'm confident and secure with myself, and similarly, I feel my worst when I'm insecure. My confidence and insecurities are primarily connected to my appearance. The lowest points in my life occurred when I felt unattractive and the highest occurred when I was happy (or the happiest I've been) with my appearance. When I like the way I look, I gain the confidence to work on and improve all the other aspects of my life.

10. Let's talk about emotions. Explain what might make you feel the following, how they feel to you or how you react to the emotion:
a.) anger
When I'm angry, I turn quiet. I don't like to speak because I fear I'll say something I'll regret later. Instead, I just rant in my head and let it all out. After that, I usually cool down and can rationally discuss my anger, if need be. Anger causes me to feel uneasy because it's unnatural and uncomfortable; that's why my anger usually translates into sadness or resentment.
b.) shame
I feel shame very intensely. When I think of the most embarrassing things that happened to me, I physically flinch. I sometimes even mentally relive the experience and feel like disappearing into thin air all over again.
c.) anxiety
When I'm anxious, I don't like to do or say anything. I just wait for the event or situation provoking my anxiety to pass so I can finally relax. I don't like to talk, think, sleep or eat. It's quite obvious when I'm anxious.

11. Describe how you respond to the following:
a.) stress
When I'm stressed, I either fix or avoid the problem causing it. If I can, I formulate a plan to fix or attend to the problem, which usually helps alleviate it. Also, I sometimes just distract myself when I don't feel like attending to it. I prefer to pretend it doesn't exist and go on with my day.
b.) negative unexpected change
When I'm faced with negative unexpected change, I manage to stay calm on the outside but I panic internally. My initial response is to resist it and find a way to avoid it.
c.) conflict
I'd ideally try to resolve any conflict I face as soon as I can, but I usually try to escape it instead. Sometimes I feel it's easier to deal with a situation if I'm physically away from it or if I've taken time to distract myself from it first.

12. a.) What kind of role are you naturally inclined to take in a group? Why?
I'm fine listening to whoever assumes the 'leader' role, as long as they don't try to micromanage the rest of us too much. Ideally I'd like to be assigned a task, which I can complete as I see fit.
b.) If put in power, how do you behave? Why?
I associate power with being the center of attention, which I don't like. However, if I were put in power, I'd probably make decisions quietly and by myself and I'd be professional but kind to anyone working with me.
c.) Do you tend to struggle with others who have authority over you? Why?
It depends on the type of authority. For instance, I think government and laws are important to protect people's security and privacy. However, I don't like it when any form of authority encroaches on a person's freedom of expression (except in necessary situations, of course).

13. What do you see or notice in others that most people don't?
I think I notice when people are subtly asking for emotional support and help, even if they deny or rebuff it.

14. Comment on your relationship with trust.
I don't trust easily. I used to trust everyone who opened up to me, because I naively assumed that if I kept their secrets and remained loyal to them, they'd do the same. However, after I learned that that's not necessarily the case, I have a hard time trusting people. I especially don't trust people with private information about myself.

15. Briefly: What religious and/or political beliefs do you have? Do you think they influenced your responses in this questionnaire?
I don't have fixed religious beliefs, I'd say I'm agnostic. In terms of my political views, I'm a centrist. I don't think they influenced my responses in this questionnaire, though.
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