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Hey I've wanted to post about this for some time now but what I think bothers me the most about being an INFP is this intense longing to help someone, it's not even something I want anymore... it's something I need. I am a pretty lonely guy, don't have any social problems per se, I just like my time alone(you probably know that feeling hehe).

This starting evolving when I was working as a mailman and was alone with my own head for about 5-6 hours a day out in the sun delivering mail. I realized I started talking to myself to "maintain a sense of closeness" as some INFP site put it. I realized I was creating conversations within my own head to fulfill the need for interactions. As time went on, I started to create scenes in my head where something terrible and dramatic was happening and I was the one who... well... was the savior.

Scenes include(pretty dramatic I know) my sisters baby falling into the harbour where she lives and no one jumping in to save it, with me jumping in. My brothers marriage falling apart and me being the only one who sees things as they are, that is what was going wrong.

It's weird how this happens, because I honestly can't remember more of this now or how it made me feel. I can't even say if this occurred in the day time or if I dreamt this. But I do remember that the feelings were incredibly strong and gave me a very strong temporary emotional fulfillment.

Have you guys experienced this? I hope I'm not going psychotic like that girl in A Tale of Two Sisters. (Recommend that film btw A Tale of Two Sisters (2003) - IMDb)


EDIT:
I think this might be connected to the lack of acknowledgements I received as a child/teenager, I'm not sure though. It's just painful, I want to be noticed so badly but only for my values and nothing else.
 

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Being that way is fine as long as you can channel the tendency to have dramatic scenes into something constructive in the future and as long as you don't harm anybody in real life.
 

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very much so. happens all the time, even when i was a kid.

sometimes i use it as a way of calming my nerves... for instance, when flying. the take-off and the landing get me nervous usually, but i calm myself in situations like that where i imagine a horrible crisis, with people panicking, and i stand up and help them (or at least some of them) make the best out of it (in the case of the crashing plane scenario, normally means calming a person to have a dignified death... i guess that's kind of morbid :mellow: ).

i suspect you're *hardly* the only one who's inclined this way.
 

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I have experienced the talking to myself, I don't think thats so worrying as long as no one talks back and you know your talking to yourself :tongue:

I also once had a dream I saved my crush from a train hurling towards them. That was actually a cool dream, even tho I feel bad that I needed to feel needed so bad that I imagined them in mortal danger.

I think it's just a bit of loneliness and maybe not feeling so close to your family, (I'm just guessing)

but me personally, I might worry about the not knowing if it was a dream or not,

that only happens to me under the influence of something.
 

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I'm actually like that all the time. I like make up stories of me being social, popular, a genius, etc everything that I am not in the real world. As long as you can tell reality from fantasy then you're fine.
 

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hahah yeah I actually do that a lot. I always think about fires though... I don't know I always thought that was sort of a strange thing to do but now that I know others do that. It's pretty awesome and I guess that it does make sense. I've always had this NEED to help people. It just makes it easier for me to accept myself because nobody else has ever seemed to understand me.
 

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I used to daydream a lot, with me being in the role of the eternal good guy coming to save the day. Never anything heroic though, I suppose from a rather early age I always knew where my limitations lay.

The past few years this daydreaming has become a lot less, maybe because sometimes life is stranger than fiction and at times(few and far between alas) even better than a dream.
 

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I think the longing to help someone is not the desire to help in itself, but the feeling of validation/achievement/fulfilment/feeling of making a difference that has come with it. It has made you feel like a hero perhaps, or maybe it makes you happy? It's one of the difference in my eyes I've always understood between Fi and Fe in my eyes. Feel free to correct if this isn't correct.

As for me, I have wanted to feel like I have saved someone, these have occured on countless occasions through my life. I save someone and do not feel any desire for reward, yet in the imagination I feel like I'm a really great guy for once. Recently it has been the dramatic scene of finding someone in the toilet, after a suicide attempt. I realise something is up and am the only one to do so. The scene is horrific, the person is near death and covered in their blood. I face my fears and not only stop the bleeding but later console said person in hospital due to the similarities with my own issues with suicidal depression. I give them hope from doing so and I feel as if my deed has conquered my own inner demons.

Other times, it was something more ridiculous e.g saving a city from a nuclear attack, overthrowing a despot or fighting a dragon. In all I felt like a hero of the people and rightfully proud of myself for doing so.
 

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Odd. When I have those sorts of daydream... Usually I'm not the savior, but the victim. Like, I'm about to die for some reason, and then I imagine people saving my life. And then I fall in love with him. And we live happily ever after...


And then I wake up. :frustrating:
 

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I thought nobody would ever say anything about this. I imagine these sort of things all the time, I even get distracted from real events because the ones in my mind have become dire and I need to conclude them. I weave these things into my daily life and thing seem just a little less boring when you look at them with such a manner.
 

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This is such a an awesome thread- I daydream about dramatic events ALL the time!! I can totally relate to the rationale of doing it to maintain a sense of connectedness with the real world, as I am so quiet that I don't often get that much acknowledgement from people... I always have this fantasy of being at a party and someone drinking so much that they pass out and I dash onto the scene and put him into recovery position. Then he stops responding so I perform CPR and save his life. Hehe... it's sad because I wouldn't wish for anyone to be in that predicament but at least I have trained myself through visualisation to respond if something like that did happen in RL! :blushed:

Daydreaming rocks!!
 

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I always daydream about having an opportunity to express my deep seated affection by protecting and caring for someone. Of course it's always a cute chick that I am idealizing about, but they are really sweet scenarios. Haha, I just remembered what I was thinking yesterday. I was leaving the store and I imagined this cute girl I have a crush on being beaten up after trying to leave her abusive boyfriend. I judo-throw him to the ground and choke him out in a non-violent way. Then I hug her and tell her it's okay, that she should leave so I don't have to beat him up again, and that I hope to see her later when she's single (-;

Then I take off one of the guy's shoes, untie them, and tie the laces of both shoes together in a tight knot so he can't walk with them and will be slowed down. She would notice how strong and noble I am and would want to be with me.

All of my stories involve a girl somehow seeing the real me (the ideal me?) and recognizing and falling for my puppy-love, eager protectiveness. Then liking me for what no one else notices and snuggling and confessing undying love (OMG it's so cheesy and predictable!). Oh this thread is spot on, I make up cliche romance ego stories evey single day, I don't think I'll ever be satisfied enough not to dream about an ideal relationship.
 

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I'm getting that "same as me!" feeling again.

I've done this many times. It's usually some heroic event involving a female of such.
For example there's a "bad guy" who has caught the said female and then I come
swooping in (with some type of superpower at my disposal) and break his face.

I've also pictured some people I know IRL, who I've wanted to give an ass-kicking, as the "bad guy".
 

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Discussion Starter #16
I just got an e-mail reminding me of this thread. I'm glad you can relate. But I just remember another occasion where this happened to me, I dreamt it. It was something about me and my brother being out in a very snowy area and for some reason my brother(he's 12 yrs older btw) was not wearing many clothes and somehow got buried in the snow(avalanche? don't remember it... hmmm). I remember I dug him about and actually flew with him away. It's a bit fuzzy atm, don't remember it that well. But it's just weird how I need recognition like that.

As for the responses concerning the girls, that just sounds awesome. Wish I had some dreams like that sometimes. Usually when I dream of girls they are very intense(romantically). Actually had a dream a few days ago that had me in it and this other woman that is the mom of one of the children I use to babysit in the kindergarten I was working at. That woman(or girl, she's 27) is ridiculously cute and overall very beautiful. The little girl I used to babysit is a lot of fun and cute as well. I was dreaming that I was her father and that I was with this woman and we were visiting New York. We were pretty much just a happy family.

After waking up from that romance dream I felt a very deep need to do better in life(wish I hadn't woken up though, it was so good!). To do something for myself, go out, socialize and whatnot.
 

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Psychotic-like people are always better than others.
Don't feel bad for these sides of you. We all have them. Whatever it is.
 

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I think you feel guilty, maybe, because you feel like it was ugly from you.
 
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