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The place I grew up, and how I was raised made it very hard for me to get over being racist towards people. I know that sounds horrible, but I actually have to make a conscious effort to not be racist in my life.
I grew up in a very racist neighborhood that only had like maybe one person of a different race in my entire school. And my school wasn't very big, only like about 300 people. There was one person in the whole school that was a different race, so I never got a really big swatch of what said other races were like until I got out of my small little town, and got into some bigger populated areas. I still struggle with it, because, in my core I believe that all people are just humans and trying to do the best that they can, are basically good at heart, etc...
But my training still tends to have me view people of other races as being "those people" and "other"...it's just hard to dismantle it from myself.

Also, I have a struggle with the stereotype of what it means to be female. I've never felt entirely female in my whole life, and for much of my younger life, wished I was male. It seemed as though the male half of the species had all the things that I wanted...they were respected just because of their gender (or so it seemed to me), they had cooler clothes (with better designs!), they didn't have to shave/remove hair all the time just to be accepted.

They didn't have issues with being emotional all the time, they didn't have to go through periods or childbirth, or wear the awful contraptions known as a bra all the time out in public just to be thought of as being "normal." They also were allowed to talk about, and think about things on a deeper level, and no one thought they were too "serious" because of it.

It just seemed like men had it easier...not to mention how infuriating I thought it was that my brother could just go off on a walk in town without telling anyone, and no one would mind...but if I did the same thing, my family panicked. I never understood that until quite recently.

I wanted the strength that a man had in his muscles, and I tried to get that, but was disappointed when I ended up being "stretchy" strong (or lean muscle strong) instead of muscly strong. I eventually learned how to accept myself as the gender that I was born, and to embrace it, but I still do envy the other gender sometimes. I honestly feel androgynous a lot of the time, and apparently a lot of INFJ's male and female, feel that way as well.

I played video games growing up, and I was happy to play Link from Legend of Zelda, or Sonic, or Mario. I knew that all of these characters were male, and I didn't care, I identified with their want to save their communities and their world enough that their gender didn't really matter to me as much. I would always name my save files "Nick" because until fairly recently, you couldn't really be a female in many games. When you finally could, it was a god-send, but only on games like Skyrim, where the armor isn't so skimpy that you couldn't imagine fighting anyone in it convincingly enough. (WTF World of Warcraft?)


 

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I used to wonder why girls were always seen as more sociable and able to share feeling, when as a guy feelings were seen as feminine and not something guys should have (wondering why as a boy crying was ok for girls but 'oh so wrong for boys, who must be tough and stoic).

Growing up with 3 generations of single Mothers I always felt women had more power and men were glorified 'man servants' until gender roles said otherwise. I actually liked that girls had more interesting fashions and always seemed to get more hugs... finding that perceptions changed in people at the age of 10, as if that period of innocence was replaced by adult ideas such as prejudice, difference, racism and segregations.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
StElmosDream;bt31336 said:
I used to wonder why girls were always seen as more sociable and able to share feeling, when as a guy feelings were seen as feminine and not something guys should have (wondering why as a boy crying was ok for girls but 'oh so wrong for boys, who must be tough and stoic).

Growing up with 3 generations of single Mothers I always felt women had more power and men were glorified 'man servants' until gender roles said otherwise. I actually liked that girls had more interesting fashions and always seemed to get more hugs... finding that perceptions changed in people at the age of 10, as if that period of innocence was replaced by adult ideas such as prejudice, difference, racism and segregations.
It's interesting how you pretty much had the exact opposite of experience I did...but in my community, I really wanted to be taken seriously. It seemed as though if I did speak up and say anything I wouldn't get taken as I wanted to just because of my gender. (but, where I grew up is very old fashioned as far as how men and women are viewed)

I personally didn't want hugs unless it was from family for the longest time. Hugs that were too soon or whatnot with strangers always felt off, and wrong and "too close" for comfort.

But, as far as guys having the whole stoic thing...I think that that's what I wanted for myself. For the longest time I thought that having such extremely deep emotions as I do and such was a weakness, though I have since learned that it can be a strength. Having deep emotions isn't something that's a curse...it's just a neutral attribute one can use like a tool to get things done...or to fuel things that they are trying to accomplish.

Also, I was raised that crying was not okay for ANYONE, boys or girls, unless someone had died. So...me being an empath and an HSP, and having to "dump" emotions by crying frequently really didn't help my view of a world that seemed like it was uncaring to the point where I couldn't express myself without having an inordinate amount of criticism thrown my way. :crying: :rolleyes:
 

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Can be 'awkward' having strong emotions as a strong male empath, when others forget that feeling the emotions of others works both ways in equal intensity.
Like you I enjoy being a HSP, empath and INFJ :)
 

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Discussion Starter #5
StElmosDream;bt31338 said:
Can be 'awkward' having strong emotions as a strong male empath, when others forget that feeling the emotions of others works both ways in equal intensity.
Like you I enjoy being a HSP, empath and INFJ :)
I bet it can be way different from the male point of view.
I just had a post in my offline journal about being an HSP, actually. I think I said something to the affect that it was annoying, but at the same time it was a blessing as well. It just seems like every brush with life is that much more intensified.
Thank you for sharing!
 
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