I'm actually really afraid of going to go visit my Dad on Friday.
I'm not scared of visiting my Dad..it's just mainly having to travel with my Aunt (his sister). We haven't spoken or seen each other in a long time, and I'm worried that anything I say will have the potential to screw up more relationships with my whole family on my Dad's side.
I'm worried that she'll read some of my Facebook posts, and figure that, since I'm an Atheist and such, that I'll not be worth going and seeing my Dad. (He has cancer, and he wants to see everyone before he goes in for surgery soon.) I'm just afraid of a 3 and a half hour trip there and back in complete awkward silence. But, hey...maybe someone else is going to be in the car with us, so that I can just extrapolate the conversation to them, as per usual. (i'm pretty good at this...yay for being an INFJ! XD)
But yeah...I almost didn't even want to make the trip, considering how I would have to get there. I know it sounds completely pathetic, but I get nervous when I have to travel relatively long distances without my Life Partner. He feels like my guiding light a lot of the time..and without him, I feel like the moon without the sun. Still there...but...without illumination. *sigh*
Anyway...I'm probably just over thinking it (as usual) and it will be fine. I just don't like not having a way out (that I can control) of situations that I get myself into. Having to rely on others that I don't know well...is very hard. And, yes, I know that she is family and such...but dang...family that you haven't talked to in a long time....is still basically an acquaintance or a stranger in my eyes.