[Socrates]

I noticed that when I am with some people (ENFJ, ESTJ, ESFJ, ESFP), there are often awkward pauses in conversation.

When with some other people (INTP, INTJ, ENTP, ISFJ) there is no sense of awkwardness on either part no matter how long the "pause" in conversation iasts.

ENTP is not an introvert, but is the most introverted of extraverts, as a side note.

Going back to the thread title: in a room full of introverts (two or three), it seems as if there are mutual alone times as opposed to awkward pauses.

What does PerC make of this curiosity?

 

[Keno]

we're more apt to embrace the silence. probably in order to think, no doubt. i've noticed it as well.

and if the ENFJ, ESTJ, etc. do ever get a pause in conversation, they generally can not not be quiet for too long and will make some irritating gesture or comment to tell everyone that there is currently a break in conversation, as if no one was aware. fun, fun. though that might just be my experience.

 

[Vaka]

Awkward pauses only happen if I'm talking with someone and have nothing to say but feel like I have to say something because the other person seems like they're expecting it. I don't see how it would have anything to do with extroversion or introversion.

 

[lirulin]

I love long pauses. Only seem to happen with introverts though. The extraverts generally don't let them happen in the first place, or seem to think they have to say something or laugh awkwardly. Introverted intuitives tend to have the longest mutual pauses in my experience.

 

[Vaka]

But if I'm having a conversation with someone and have no response but feel like I should say something, what does that have to do with being an extrovert?

 

[Immemorial]

But if I'm having a conversation with someone and have no response but feel like I should say something, what does that have to do with being an extrovert?

Don't bother looking.

It seems to be one of those stupid stereotypes that E's are incapable of silence and always feel the need to talk in order to avoid it.

 

[Isis]

But if I'm having a conversation with someone and have no response but feel like I should say something, what does that have to do with being an extrovert?

It may indicate that you're more socially aware or less absorbed by your own thoughts and want to maintain the cadence of the conversation. A very pronounced introvert would not necessarily feel the need to say something if he or she had no response.

 

[Isis]

I love long pauses. Only seem to happen with introverts though. The extraverts generally don't let them happen in the first place, or seem to think they have to say something or laugh awkwardly. Introverted intuitives tend to have the longest mutual pauses in my experience.

Some people seem to think it's really impolite to let long pauses creep into conversations. But it doesn't always leave enough room for thinking, IMHO.

 

[ThoughtProcess]

Now, if only INFPs would jump on-board with that theory. :crazy:

 

[Vaka]

It may indicate that you're more socially aware or less absorbed by your own thoughts and want to maintain the cadence of the conversation. A very pronounced introvert would not necessarily feel the need to say something if he or she had no response.

But extroversion doesn't equal social awareness, and introversion doesn't equal self-absorption and social ineptitude. I don't really think there's a connection between E/I and awkward pauses as I can't really relate any of my social experiences to my being an extrovert. Introversion means that you gain energy from your internal world rather than from the external world.

 

[Immemorial]

There are over-talkative I's and reserved E's you know.

One of my friends is an INFJ and he' always talking.

Meanwhile I have an ENTJ friend who is pretty much like me, in that he thinks before he speaks and considers things beforehand.

 

[Efthalia]

Well, actually, I do feel the need to fill in silences, and I do find it awkward when the conversation comes to a stop. Most of my friends are introverted, and I still always try to pull out anything to say when I'm around them. I have a sort of need to...entertain them, I guess.

 

[Vaka]

There are over-talkative I's and reserved E's you know.

Haha. My mom happens to be a talkative introvert. I'm not sure, but it may have something to do with the fact that she uses Fe. I myself am a reserved extrovert, that's why I don't really like the idea that extroverts are social or socially skilled.

 

[Immemorial]

Haha. My mom happens to be a talkative introvert. I'm not sure, but it may have something to do with the fact that she uses Fe. I myself am a reserved extrovert, that's why I don't really like the idea that extroverts are social or socially skilled.

Most people don't seem to understand the actual definition of Introversion and Extroversion.

 

[Isis]

But extroversion doesn't equal social awareness, and introversion doesn't equal self-absorption and social ineptitude. I don't really think there's a connection between E/I and awkward pauses as I can't really relate any of my social experiences to my being an extrovert. Introversion means that you gain energy from your internal world rather than from the external world.

I put a lot of qualifiers in that statement for a reason. As you rightly point out, the general tendency is not a rule for everyone.

But that does not mean that there is not a (fairly well-documented) general tendency for the more pronounced introvert to be less adept at social cues, especially when he or she is tired and needing to get away.

 

[Isis]

Most people don't seem to understand the actual definition of Introversion and Extroversion.

I'm a little more confused by the equation of "talkative" and "no awkward pauses."

 

[Immemorial]

I'm a little more confused by the equation of "talkative" and "no awkward pauses."

Care to elaborate?

 

[lirulin]

But extroversion doesn't equal social awareness, and introversion doesn't equal self-absorption and social ineptitude. I don't really think there's a connection between E/I and awkward pauses as I can't really relate any of my social experiences to my being an extrovert. Introversion means that you gain energy from your internal world rather than from the external world.

That's why there are the two reasons for breaking the pauses.

Those that do it for social reasons - perceived awkwardness, real or fake - (either E or I do this) - and those that do it to gain energy from interaction (extraverts).

I know introverts who feel too awkward to let a pause stand. But the comfortable really long pauses tend to be more of an introvert thing, because the extravert will, at some point, want to get energy out of the interaction and turn to dialogue, or at the very least some indication of awareness/connection like eye contact, facial expressions, things that interupt the space-out. Briefer comfortable pauses can happen with extraverts, but the long ones, where an outsider might think the conversation stopped completely, but many minutes later it resumes, completely on track, tend to be an introvert thing,

 

[Isis]

Care to elaborate?

Well...just because people talk a lot does not mean that there are no awkward pauses in conversation. Talking a lot can actually create awkward pauses.

 

[Isis]

But the comfortable really long pauses tend to be more of an introvert thing, because the extravert will, at some point, want to get energy out of the interaction and turn to dialogue, or at the very least some indication of awareness/connection like eye contact, facial expressions, things that interupt the space-out. Briefer comfortable pauses can happen with extraverts, but the long ones, where an outsider might think the conversation stopped completely, but many minutes later it resumes, completely on track, tend to be an introvert thing,

I agree totally. Nicely stated.