[butterfly9]

Hey guys,

After months of lurking around, I am finally doing a post - yay! Apologies if I'm breaking any rules.

So I've recently realised I'm an INFP after many years of struggling with my personality, loneliness, not fitting in, having seemingly far-fetched and idealistic goals. Despite this, I've remained grounded and pursued an analytical and logical career path. BSc in Economics, MSc in project management which led to good paying jobs. I had good grades at school but I remember struggling to concentrate, day dreaming in class or even not going at all. But I was motivated by the light at the end of the tunnel - one day, I would belong to the workforce, be free and independent. This was my main motivation to study hard at school.

Anyway, it didn't quite work out that way. I have now ended up in an analyst role in a bank with good managers and salary and prospects etc. But I truly cannot stand the activities I do in my day job. It bores me to tears and I have no interest in it whatsoever. It involves messing about with spreadsheets, doing some data quality. I spend 75% of my day pretending to be busy and the remaining 25% rushing to complete everything I should have done earlier.

I am not one to sit around and moan (well not anymore) so I have decided to actively seek a career that I actually give a s**t about. I'm setting up a business with a couple of other people who I can delegate stuff to. It's the simplest business model to execute (for me anyway) - we've actually started selling. Yes, I know that new businesses rarely succeed etc... so I'm going into this with my eyes wide open. I hope to start test running my two other income streams soon. I have a date to leave my bank job i.e. December 31st.

Now this all sounds well and good but I have one big problem that could mar this plan - PROCRASTINATION. I can assure you nobody around me thinks this is a good idea. I don't have any real friends so nobody actually cares what I do. In any case, I really don't want to be one of those people who are stuck in their jobs, living above their means and pining desperately for the weekend while playing the lottery and hoping it will rescue them from their day jobs. Not that there's anything wrong with that - it's just not for me.

I am eager to hear from people also implementing or considering a life plan of any kind right now. What are you doing? Can we motivate each other? Pretty please be nice to the newbie

 

[waggz]

I too have just made my first post today and realized after alot of trial and error that I am an INFP.

I am almost thirty and have been in the IT field for nearly 10 years.

Procrastination gets me everyday. Hell its getting me right now. I am posting this here instead of doing some mundane IT task.

I used to love IT work and as we know INFP's need passion in order to do a good job. I am so bored with it I absolutely am horrid. I get things done like at the very very last minute.

I am currently about to move into another field as a Cisco Network Engineer. I have been telling myself that I will be connecting everyone around the world and that is what gives me the drive to go forth with it.

I love music more than anything and that is what I would love to do as a job.. but its not realistic.

Depending on how old you are I would say the sky is the limit on you finding a job that makes you happy. I really never give up hope even as hard as times get sometimes.

Try to find something you can be doing that has good things going for it even if its not exactly what you want. I am going into the network engineer field with the hope of getting my secret clearance again so I can travel around the world.

Sorry about the ramblings. :tongue:

 

[butterfly9]

Hey waggz, why do you think music is not realistic as a job? Have you explored any possibilities? Do you play any instruments? What type of music do you like? I'm starting piano and singing classes next month but only as a hobby as I've always wanted to learn.

Yes, I'm just trying to find a career that will give me more control of my time - I've checked and it doesn't exist so I have to create one. Your plans sound exciting - is it difficult to get your secret clearance?

 

[Grumpsy]

I can't post links yet... BUT I WILL ANYWAY -_-

www(dot)slate(dot)com/blogs/browbeat/2013/08/27/bill_watterson_s_cartoonist_s_advice_in_comic_form_by_zen_pencils_aka_gavin(dot)html

just put a dot at the (dot)

 

[Slider]

.............

You are complaining about procrastination?

This complaint doesn't even compute.

On a severity scale, your problems are minor in comparison to other major issues, like, having no money and no food.

 

[waggz]

.............

You are complaining about procrastination?

This complaint doesn't even compute.

On a severity scale, your problems are minor in comparison to other major issues, like, having no money and no food.

Shes procrastinating because shes bored. Having a job that is boring and meaningless to her does not make her happy. If she is not happy she is not happy and that's not good.

Being happy in life is very important and severe in my opinion.



Does that compute? :happy:

 

[Bago]

.............

You are complaining about procrastination?

This complaint doesn't even compute.

On a severity scale, your problems are minor in comparison to other major issues, like, having no money and no food.

You do not understand, the procastination is not wanting to do something cos there is something inside of your heart that is holding it back, so each day is a struggle to bypass that and push beyond it to complete the task. So hence the OP is asking, "what is the best strategy for me to find something and do something as a job that I cannot have this feeling of needing to stop myself from doing this?" To me, this is a very mature thing to do, cos it is taking responsibility of oneself, and their life.

I have read the original post, and I myself have gone down a similar path too, but I can say to the OP that, maybe it is best to always start a business which you find curious and has an interest in. Also, maybe your life's journey will not be static. You can try different things, and gain different experiences to suit you as well. I set myself a goal 11 years ago, and in 2 year's time, I too would be financially free.

What I have forsaken was to settle down and have children, which was my original aim. I also thought about starting my own little business too around this time. But it took me a long of emotional credits to be where I am now, and I am totally burnt.

I thought of a lot of ideas back then, but even now, I have not thought of a more solid idea, but I have better ideas on what I like best. i.e. food, dancing, nutrition, ayurvedic (which is something I found out today, and is equivalent to Chinese medicine too). To me, I won't ever be a psychologist, cos it is not me, and not what I represent. Healthcare and eastern medicine is more and more popular now in the UK than ever before, so there is a gap somewhere too. I may consider things like that.

To me, to add value to society is to provide something of offer which does not exist. Why does "social networking" works so well in the US and is labelled as such? Because in the move towards globalisation, the community spirit is dead. this also explains why the increase of psychologists exists in the past 10-20 years, rather than to create communities, ,and enhance social cohesion. There is a movement now across many US states in bringing manufacturing back as a local basis. I whole-heartedly embrace this. I read a magazine called Monocle and this shows you the trend of how people live these days. If you are serious about starting a business, which holds true to your heart, and add social values, then the magazine may give you some ideas?

I would if I could, eliminate obseities... and how people cannot even get access to fresh food ! Basic human right. I too hope to add value to society...

 

[kittymobile]

My advice would be to think back to what you fantasised about doing, if life allowed, when you were younger.

I've always loved art and writing and am currently doing Creative Writing at university. Stories don't pay unless you get famous so I'm going to try for Book editing as my career. If this doesn't work, I love languages and people are interesting (good catalysts for stories) so perhaps my plan B and C would be GCHQ (language based spying) or counselling of some sort. Both would interest me and work into my helping people and story writing needs.

So, that's my life plan.

If a small business and more flexible hours is what you want - great. You sound like you've got the raw idea sorted. Just make sure it's something you'll continue to enjoy. As for procrastination...I get that all the time. I get my friends to nag me into doing stuff - guilt trips always work I also set deadlines for myself and encourage myself to be the best I can be. After all, I want to take pride in what I achieve.

 

[Slider]

I understand quite well.

I procrastinated a lot when I was in college and my grades suffered.

It was boring and I didn't really like what I was doing.

At least the OP is making good money.

Stop whining and find a hobby. You are more fortunate than most people.

 

[IcarusDreams]

I understand quite well.

I procrastinated a lot when I was in college and my grades suffered.

It was boring and I didn't really like what I was doing.

At least the OP is making good money.

Stop whining and find a hobby. You are more fortunate than most people.

I understand you can't relate, and that not having a job/good source of income is not fun, but hers is a valid problem EVEN if she currently has a good job and a stable source of income. All problems are valid, be them big or small. I would say that it's not all that bad, and that your hobby suggestion would actually work (basically, finding a passion outside her workplace, which is doable for some), but you gotta admit your tone is rather harsh and intolerant of her situation just because "others have it worse"-to her, it is a genuine problem that prevents her current happiness, regardless any economics issues.

 

[IcarusDreams]

Hey waggz, why do you think music is not realistic as a job? Have you explored any possibilities? Do you play any instruments? What type of music do you like? I'm starting piano and singing classes next month but only as a hobby as I've always wanted to learn.

Perhaps he meant it is not realistic in his situation-it is indeed realistic for many, though. Keep it up and learn music, I am sure you will enjoy the process very much. I very much cannot live without music... can't contemplate leaving my violin for anything else, even though I am more than capable to do well in any sort of random professions. It is the call of my dream, which I shall always follow.

Money is important though-I just don't feel it should be that one sole reason to work at anything... I honestly need to find personal value in my jobs, and there's nothing wrong with that approach.

 

[Bago]

I understand quite well.
I procrastinated a lot when I was in college and my grades suffered.
It was boring and I didn't really like what I was doing.
At least the OP is making good money.
Stop whining and find a hobby. You are more fortunate than most people.

Somebody is jealous.....!
I do not see the problem at all for bettering oneself and being actually open in asking for that help. Maybe you do... but that's you. Anyway, I say well done to the OP for really asking this Q.

Well, I just read another article previously the other week about an intern dying from overworking and exhaustion. He was trying to get into banking and stay there, but it was obvious that he was used... "Fortunate than most" ? You have to walk in someone else's shoes to understand what they have and what they are dealing with. If you cannot be sympathetic, then shush and do not contribute ! Ta-da !

My so-called life as*an intern*at Merrill Lynch - Home News - UK - The Independent

 

[Belle Chat]

Hi @butterfly9,

You might want to invest in hiring a life coach to help you overcome the procrastination (which, I'm sure you realize, is masking a deeper issue -- I'm guessing fear). A few sessions with a life coach could really clear your mind about priorities, help you make commitments to yourself to get things done, and get excited about what you're about to do. If you google life coach and your location (provided you live in a decent sized metropolitan area) you should be able to find several life coaches to choose from (pick one who seems to mesh well with you). I worked with a life coach when I was considering making a major life change and it was extremely helpful!

In the meantime, other things I would do: just pick ONE thing to do each day to move you closer to your business, anything from making calls to potential suppliers or clients, getting a website set up (if needed), getting business cards printed, etc.

Minimize your expenses as much as possible, and save as much as possible. Hopefully you have a good cash cushion to help get you through the first months/year? If you're short on cash, check into alternate income streams to help get you through (could you work part time at your current job for a while, or come back as a consultant on a part time basis? Find a different part time job?). Act as if this is a totally done deal and you will HAVE to survive on what you've got. Are you ready?

Self help books are always useful. I personally love Tim Ferriss's book The Four Hour Work Week, Danielle LaPorte's Firestarter Sessions, and am currently reading (and loving) Steven Pressman's book Turning Pro.

Websites I think are super inspirational for making huge life changes with a business flavor: www.daniellelaporte.com and www.marieforleo.com. My life coach's website is www.jillianharrington.com and it has some great content too.

I hope some of these help! I'm excited for you! It is always inspiring to me when I see people go for what they're really passionate about! Keep us posted on your journey!

 

[RetroVortex]

If I had a life coach I'd get benched in every match! XD

 

[claude]

I'm kind on of on my way to where you were in the past in the sense that I'm taking a major at school (computer science) not because I find it interesting but because I just want some sort of financial stability and a skill thats in demand enough to maybe allow me to be able to move around and travel, also I figure I can maybe help to write programs for charities or organizations or things I'm interested in and that could maybe bring some sort of relief to the job, because otherwise it could get bad quick lol.

It sounds like you took a big step in starting your own business and your doing pretty well, I don't really know anything about the grownup or adult world and I'm 23 so I'm just gonna wish you luck, and send happy vibrations your way I guess.

Edit;

on a side not its hard to have time to really think about who I am, where I'm going etc because right now I have work and school and with homework its like 30 minute stretches f youtube videos and reading for 30 minutes on my lunch break otherwise im engaged in like activites I dont really want a part of.

 

[waggz]

Hey waggz, why do you think music is not realistic as a job? Have you explored any possibilities? Do you play any instruments? What type of music do you like? I'm starting piano and singing classes next month but only as a hobby as I've always wanted to learn.

Yes, I'm just trying to find a career that will give me more control of my time - I've checked and it doesn't exist so I have to create one. Your plans sound exciting - is it difficult to get your secret clearance?

Its just not realistic for me personally. I found out that I was actually naturally quite good at it... but way too late. I could probably explore possibilities, but I would have to dedicate a lot of time that I don't have right now. I actually started to sign up for this college for music production and engineering just to do it. I may end up still doing it and if I get a job with that I will be very happy.

I like really weird electronic music. I always have...lol. Stuff you may have never heard of.. but maybe you have . I really like all music that is actually musical. I don't have a huge appreciation for the mainstream stuff that has been coming out lately.

I play the keyboard/midi and computer. I am not really any good.. but I do have fun!

Ah... more control of your time. Feeling the crunch from your mundane hourly schedule like a vice squeezing the life out of you? hehe me too.

Yes traveling around the world sounds very exciting to me too. I will get to see many types of people and things. I am going to look at it as my life adventure. I have already been on one life adventure with the Air Force when I was younger and need another one now... so hopefully this will be the last adventure that I need.

It is sort of difficult to get your clearance but not really. If you are from the U.S it requires good credit and no felonies or crazy stuff on your record. The secret clearance is the lowest level clearance for the U.S military.

:happy:

 

[infpblog]

I am eager to hear from people also implementing or considering a life plan of any kind right now. What are you doing?

Meaningful life doesn't necessarily mean having meaningful job, unless work is the most important thing in your life and that's the basis on which you define your sense of self and self-worth. The thing with meaningful life is that it's not just about what you do during job time unless your job is your life. It's about how the job time affects all the other time also.

First off, you have to define what gives you meaning and purpose. For me, it's growth, creating empowering relationships, contribution and a few other things. It seems like the work oriented people use their job as the main area to find those things that give them purpose. And they use their non-work hours for enjoyment (play video games, watch tv) and do activities that are fun but don't necessarily have meaning or purpose behind in it.

I'm more non-work oriented. I use the 8 hours at work for enjoyment. I enjoy programming. It's fun but it's not particularly meaningful just like going to a concert isn't particularly meaningful. I enjoy spending time with my co-workers. I enjoy talking to my bosses. But that's really more about the company than it is about the actual work I do.

I use my non-work hours as my main area for purpose and meaning. For growth, I travel, I read non-fiction, I spend time studying personal development, I read research, I do things outside my comfort zone. For empowering relationships, I make sure that the time I spend with my wife, my children and my friends gets us closer to the life we want to create. For example, I have a friend who studying to be an electrician but hasn't had many opportunities. So I'm hiring her to fix three light sockets in my bathroom that are no longer working. She gets experience and I get to live another day electrocution-free. For contribution, I help out the people in my life in small ways like I'm teaching a friend how to build and fix computers.

I do try to grow, create empowering relationships and contribute at work in little ways. But doing so in a big way would require me to move to a position with more responsibility which would mean more time and more energy away from my non-work hours. The life I want is not the life where I my work hours take all my energy and I come home to family and the activities I find meaningful, all stressed and drained. This is one of the reason why I never started my own business, even when I was single. I didn't want to come home too drained to write.

Creating a meaningful life is more than just creating meaningful work. You've mentioned your ideas for finding meaning during your work hours. What's your idea for meaningful non-work hours? You've gotten paid well so you should have adequate financial resources to be able to create non-work time full of meaning and purpose. Do you think shifting that energy and focus to work, detracts from the energy and purpose you put into non-work hours?

 

[butterfly9]

I understand quite well.

I procrastinated a lot when I was in college and my grades suffered.

It was boring and I didn't really like what I was doing.

At least the OP is making good money.

Stop whining and find a hobby. You are more fortunate than most people.

Life is not all about making "good money". Been there, done that, still bored.

A hobby does not replace a job where you are contracted to be in a physical place for a particular amount of time doing specific tasks. I spend a third of my time at work. That is an awful lot of time to spend on something that is not fulfilling. I'm trying to replace that with something more meaningful and still make some income to live on. It is not as easy as it sounds and from what I've read on this forum, it gets more impossible to achieve the longer you leave it. The fact that I'm more fortunate than most people does not mean I should not pursue things that are meaningful to me.

I don't mind constructive advice, but your post does not address anything I wrote so perhaps you needn't have bothered.

 

[butterfly9]

Creating a meaningful life is more than just creating meaningful work. You've mentioned your ideas for finding meaning during your work hours. What's your idea for meaningful non-work hours? You've gotten paid well so you should have adequate financial resources to be able to create non-work time full of meaning and purpose. Do you think shifting that energy and focus to work, detracts from the energy and purpose you put into non-work hours?

Thanks infpblog for your detailed post. I think if you already enjoy your job and feel it's a good use of your skills and person, you are able to find the time to do other meaningful things in your non-work hours. In my non-work hours these days, I'm trying to get my startup off the ground. My work hours aren't really that flexible (or many!) but I agree with growing meaningful relationships at work. However, I am still interested in the meaning of the tasks I am doing i.e. yes a promotion would be great but what is the point of this stuff; what is going to go from good to better because I am doing this?

I can't help it but the tasks and the results of the task matters to me!

 

[butterfly9]

hey @claude - you're like me a from few years ago lol! But sounds like you have a solid plan with writing programmes - that's the great thing about having a "hard" skill. Try to find some time to figure out what you really want but I will admit I didn't think about stuff like this until I realised I was stuck.