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in your life, which do you ask more? HOW? What? or WHY?
 

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"How", followed by "why".

Sometimes it's the other way around, it depends on the situation.
 
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I know it's not one of the options listed, but...When?
 
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Definitely why. And if no one can supply me with a sufficient reason that something should be done, I usually see no reason to proceed to how, when, where, etc.

My motto has always been to ask why until I am no longer able to ask why. If the ultimate answer boils down to anything equivalent to "because I said so" then I consider the conversation to be over.
 

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Depends on what I'm asking... but why usually comes first, that's what motivates me to ask how and who since there usually isn't a sufficient/objective/all-encompassing answer for why.

For example asking why am I on this planet can seem absurd when finding my purpose is subjective, like even if god appeared right in front of my face and told me the secrets of the universe it might not change the way I live my life. The reason I feel that way is bc I can reframe that question to mean why is there suffering in the first place? And it's hard for me to accept any explanation for that, even though I have adopted a provisional one. The real question for me is how can I find happiness and become a better person?
 

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What?
as in...

what did you just ask me in an entirely opened state of mind you invasive bastard.
or what as in that was really outside myself and awesome please do it again.

we need separate wants.
 

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Why and how
such as: Why did you do that? How did you feel about it?
I used them both to receive reasons based on feelings, although I usually dislike putting questions; I feel like I already know everything I should.
 

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Depends on what I'm asking... but why usually comes first, that's what motivates me to ask how and who since there usually isn't a sufficient/objective/all-encompassing answer for why.
Agreed. Why usually comes first, followed swiftly by How and What. Like Spook, knowing the why helps to motivate me into action. Since I have already resolved the most important question of "Why am I here?" everything else is in relation to that purpose.

"Why must I deal with this situation or change in events?" "How will this affect my plans and my goals?" "What must I do to resolve the issue at hand?"

I like to cut to the heart of the matter and get the job done quickly.
 

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Instinctively It's usually why

Why is an interesting one - and I have learned to curb it's use especially in business - not because the question doesn't need asking but because it's a very loaded word.

In coaching the motivation and rationale is the key to getting things done - the why is crucial - The issue is that Why tends to be associated with justification not motivation or reasons. Why did you do that? is a common parental rebuke. So the word tends to make people defensive.

It's often worth looking at your own motivation when asking a question like this - are you anti the idea/request and are trying to avoid doing what it is that is being asked or are you really neutral? I think a lot of people feel that is they are showing interest that they are somehow agreeing

If you are genuine in wanting to understand more then "tell me more about this" or "what is the background to this decision?" - you will learn a lot lot more.
 
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