I get the impression that ESTJ's can never be wrong and even when they are they will never admit it to anyone. I don't really have a problem with this; I love their confidence, but I am perplexed by it.
Same goes with physical health. Even if they clearly have the same health problems that I am experiencing, they refuse to admit it even when the fix is easy and would save/ improve their life, and so they continue to do things the way they are used to. Edit: this particular person could actually be an ESFJ, I'm not 100% sure.
They also refuse to have any fault found in them, and every problem seems to be related to 'my issues'. Even when I admit my issues, it is extremely rare that they will ever admit anything wrong with themselves.
Also, they say they don't play mind games, but I find it hard to believe that all the mind games that go on could just be me...
I find relationships with ESTJ's addictive but weird... Any insight would be much appreciated
As for mind games..I use mostly logic and I try to clearly state myself and my reasoning. But there are some people who do not like logic or reasoning at all. These people rely only on their feelings and will not go out of their comfort zone to accomplish anything.. I find with people like that, it is best to get to their feelings in order to get them moving. Tell them about their talents and what they could accomplish with them. Make them realize what they are putting to waste and give them some ideas on how to use their skills/personality wisely. Work them up by making them feel determined and driven. With people like that you need to recharge this motivated feelings drive after a little while, because it doesn't last that long for them and they easily lose sight of things. Is that what you mean by mind games?
Not what I was referring to exactly but it puts into words something which I had been trying to work out about ESTJ's. I used to resist such help, but they generally seem to do it meaning well. I have forgotten what I meant by mind games - he is the one who always brings it up, not me... In fact now I remember, so did someone else in the past - all I would be doing is trying to reason with them and they would say I was playing mind games. Rather confusing for me actually.
Ah! I think I understand what they meant. I am a more thinking person than I am a feeling one. I got 95% thinking and only 5% feeling on the test. lol. But I generally realize and acknowledge that feelings hold importance and that you must consider them for other people. But there are some ESTJs (like my father) who see no significance in them. And end up hurting the feelings of other because of that and not even acknowledging that they could have done so. With ESTJs like that, you need to get to the real beef using only logic and no feelings. Whatever an ESTJ like that considers BS they will assume you are trying to play mind games with them. It is better to not use "feeling phrases" or other such lines on them. They may be completely sincere to you, but to them since they do not have such feelings it will look like nothing but BS and not the actual beef at hand. I'm sorry if I am not explaining this well enough, I'm not that great at expressing myself.. I'm sorry you have to deal with ESTJs like that. My father is one of them and has caused my family much heartache because of it. I am also an ESTJ like him, but I am determined to be different and more understanding of others. Do you have any other questions regarding help with those ESTJs? If so feel free to send me a message and I will see if I can help.