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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi, this is kind of personal for me but it seems important and if I have any mental illnesses I want to locate them, address them, and move forward and I think I might.

I feel like society has this mindset I lack, a connection and understanding, and knowledge I just don't understand.

I feel that most people are wasteful of there time, and do things that hurt themselves (creating strife in their lives by accepting others edicts), I feel an amount of possession of them and that this possession is mutual but different in it's purpose, I feel it is my role to create better systems for them in terms of social community. I feel it is there role to value me and help me complete this task. This isn't necessarily something I have to do but something I feel leaves me empty if I don't do it, a trait of vitality but not survival.

I know You may think I am a "special snowflake" and a "Narcissist" but I feel little meaning elsewhere and I would begrudgingly accept uselessness if that is what was needed, I do not want this however and would gladly help people in "need" if I could, I occasionally despise myself and my misunderstanding of the value of their systems. But I believe I am different and that I can be of value to society in stead of being a burden.

I have looked up many mental illnesses and told my family of how I may be eligible for some, but they believe in diet and prayer ( not that I don't but I feel therapy could help me manage my mental state, I feel overwhelmed I suppose) I feel I could have Aspergers, Bipolar disorder/Split Personality disorder, Covert Narcissicm, Borderline Personality disorder... Or others I just want to discuss these things and see if I could find any insight here or if it would be worth it.

What I mentioned is just the tip of the iceberg, but I think that will suffice for now, I may not answer immediately as I am sick and need some rest but will try to read all comments and get back with you tomorrow, Thank you for reading this and taking time to think on it. :)

Have a good day,
Antoniorq1
 

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You cannot hope to change a society that you don't actually understand. Good management requires understanding and adaptation. I also think it would benefit you to seek a professional diagnosis.
 

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Changing society is a bit of a hopeless endeavour since what that entails is superimposing your values onto other people. Even if your observations are astute and correct it does not mean that others will willingly abandon what they value and believe in to take up yours. In my youth I thought I was going to change the world, do something very meaningful. I think this is the affliction of all youth to be honest. Life is so large that everyone needs to approach it with that kind of blind optimism if they are to have any success or willpower at all. Otherwise we would all give up at the outset.

But over time I have come to realise that other people's differences have intrinsic value, just as mine do too. It's alright for others to be different, it's alright for others to do down paths I might think are stupidity. It's alright for others to make their own choices, everyone is capable of that. I have learnt very little in life but what I have learnt I value. Let it be. Don't meddle with others, just let them be.

Just my thoughts on the matter. Don't know if you have a mental illness or not. I think we all have a mental illness, it's called being human.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
I think I represented something that wasn't fully the problem, but I will try to explain more and more as I go.I think getting a professional diagnoses could be helpful, and I may do that soon, I just need to "lay my cards on the table" so to speak, Thanks for the advice.
I agree and feel like I understand everything you're saying, people's thoughts are valuable and they have the right to make their own decisions, super-imposing your beliefs would be neccassary acceptance would not come necessarily.

I guess part of the problem is it's hard for me to find value in things that aren't intrinsically valuable, I hate the whole extra steps I feel like people have to take to do what they find meaningful.(based on my own flawed opinion of course which is based on what each individual values)

I guess the problem is I feel like most of my life is wasted when I'm doing things I don't enjoy, I want people to do what they enjoy and make it easier for others to avoid what they don't by doing what they enjoy, also I think communication is very important, not that it's relevant.

I want a more balanced life, I think everyone deserves that.

But My problems are an inability to focus on things I dislike or to try to focus on them without a lot of encouragement and support, and such an intense level of focus on things I find meaningful I become almost inhuman, manic, depraved and blind to most things except for the goal; I become moody, easily aggravated, very convincing, but also possibly fear inducing, I have a lot of control but my head physically hurts and I feel like I'm using a great but costly inner strength, I just want to try to make it more manageable maybe more of a constant release instead of a pressure valve.

That's my symptoms, I suppose.

https://youtu.be/rz5TGN7eUcM
 

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I want a more balanced life, I think everyone deserves that.
And so ... when you want something, what should come next ?
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Action. Right? I am taking actions, I am finding more reasons to enjoy my life and the person who I am and have chosen to be over the course of my life, I think that is a really good step to take and is worth doing and sharing, You have to uplift yourself every now and then it empowers your cause and being, which is necessary for myself and others, everyone is entitled to it and deserves it.
 

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I'm no expert. But you sound like an xNFP to me :) I think it's perfectly natural to question where society is asking us to put our energies, to want to make life better for everyone, and to feel on some fundamental level that every person is valuable and has a place, and wonder why not everyone can see that.

I don't want to minimize whatever you're going through (and if you feel like you need to see a therapist, you probably should). I just want to reassure you that your instincts sound basically good, and it may be a question of managing them.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
I'm no expert. But you sound like an xNFP to me :) I think it's perfectly natural to question where society is asking us to put our energies, to want to make life better for everyone, and to feel on some fundamental level that every person is valuable and has a place, and wonder why not everyone can see that.

I don't want to minimize whatever you're going through (and if you feel like you need to see a therapist, you probably should). I just want to reassure you that your instincts sound basically good, and it may be a question of managing them.
Yeah I typed myself as ENFP after reading the descriptions from different sources and cross referencing and looking at the relationships between the functions, I always got ISTP and INTP Or ENFJ Or ESFJ but I looked at the functions and I have no Ni and therefor no Se plus seeing random ideas and versions of things makes the most sense to me which is Ne and not putting emotions first but putting them above logic made ENFP the obvious choice because it puts ideas/Ne first and emotion then logic as a foil and opposing force that I have to work with but also reject in order to use Fi in a wholesome way and SI is low but I still have it. Also the way I talk is usually attempting to be logical which is Te because it's hard to get the Fi out in the open without feeling pretty vulnerable plus other childhood issues that encouraged strong use of Te in communication.

So yeah, thanks for the comment also.
 

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Join a charity. Fly to an impoverished country that does not kidnap people. Work with another culture.

The third world is happy while the first world is miserable. What do they know that we don't? I could answer that for you, but I recommend seeing it for yourself.
 

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All I can say is focus on changing yourself not others, because you cannot control them, but you can change yourself. I feel you on the existential angst this generates. Perhaps stoicism would be valuable to you.
 
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