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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Can INFJs here explain this type of behavior displayed by my ex? Have I been door slammed?

8 weeks Post-BU
My ex brought his new gf to a concert we originally planned to go to together. It was a show we first saw together and really liked. And at a small venue we used to go to a lot last fall. He knew I ended up buying my own ticket and planned to go alone so he was left with two tickets (I assumed he would take his roommate). He brought his new girl... The one he practically left me for and dated immediately post-BU. He has said he's sorry for causing me pain and (just 2 weeks ago) said he knows how much and how long it hurts to get dumped. So... Why disregard my feelings and bring her to this small intimate venue that used to be our thing... When he knew I would be there!

It just blows my mind.. turns my world upside down that this guy would rub it in my face in this way. And if not rubbing it in my face I can't believe he could be so careless. is his head so far up in the clouds with her?? The guy who broke up with me and said "I will always be thinking about you and hoping you're happy." The guy who said he wish he could take all my hurt away. Just a week ago he chatted me and apologized for being a "bad friend." I've kept contact at a minimum but initiated a chat the day before the show which he read and did not respond to.

They stood in the spot in the back we used to stand together. It's like where we were almost exactly a year ago except he swapped me out, Nice of him to re-create that for me to see. :( But anyway I was in the front row and enjoyed the show alone.
First thing I thought was, "Maybe he thinks this OP is still holding out some hope so either he or his new girlfriend thought their being together, 'right there' would put an end to any dreaming the OP still has, so not narcissistic, and not cruel, just had to be done to make the boundary clear."

I score just this or that side of J/P so I hope my comment is taken as intended: Another vantage point to consider, especially as you say he didn't love you, so he wouldn't be thinking things like, 'This is the spot we used to stand in'; he and his new girlfriend want closure, and this was one sure way to convey that to my mind:

Painful for you, yes; but holding out hope would be painful for you more over the long haul, and possibly cause problems between him and his new (and possibly insecure new girlfriend as new relationships are often fragile).
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