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I understand this thread has been done to death, but I found it preferable to have new responses than to consult old threads a majority of which are inconclusive and incomplete.

How do I explain this problem? Basically, I seem to possess this incredibly detrimental ability to unintentionally lose all of my confidence whenever I'm in the company of people, both strangers and friends included. In isolation, I come up with ideas to maintain self-confidence. And I do remain quite self-assured and confident for the subsequent few hours granted the idea worked successfully... then I meet someone and the air of confidence around me starts dissipating incredibly fast. Thus follows the proverbial period of anxiety.

If you couldn't quite comprehend the above passage, ignore it. Just give me some counsel on what the question says.
 

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I think this implies that you have problems with putting your personal desires and ideas in context. You feel right when you're alone because nobody is around to suspect the opposite. You're the most free when you get to see everybody else, and when they don't get to see you. Altitude is your friend.

Really the only two solutions as I see it are letting go of people or letting go of ideas.

The former is a sort of insecure misanthropy and makes you unassailable by means of consistent boundaries. This strategy is impossible to effect so long as you stay involved in daily affairs. Simply believe that other people are always wrong, and you'll trivialize them before they trivialize you.

The latter doesn't involve convincing yourself of your own rightness, because its starting point is the assumption that you're always wrong, and that this isn't to be feared. Still you'll need something to hang onto, else your identity will feel hollow and dividual, and even the most selfless people are afraid of losing themselves.
 

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I understand this thread has been done to death, but I found it preferable to have new responses than to consult old threads a majority of which are inconclusive and incomplete.

How do I explain this problem? Basically, I seem to possess this incredibly detrimental ability to unintentionally lose all of my confidence whenever I'm in the company of people, both strangers and friends included. In isolation, I come up with ideas to maintain self-confidence. And I do remain quite self-assured and confident for the subsequent few hours granted the idea worked successfully... then I meet someone and the air of confidence around me starts dissipating incredibly fast. Thus follows the proverbial period of anxiety.

If you couldn't quite comprehend the above passage, ignore it. Just give me some counsel on what the question says.
If you want to and the ideas are big enough, put work into them until you know the ins and outs, then you'll have no need to be timid.

If it's purely an emotional thing, just be reasonable and willing to assert yourself when things are uncertain. You may feel naked, exposed, but like all things, you will get used to it. I think this is called personal growth or something like that.
 

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The latter doesn't involve convincing yourself of your own rightness, because its starting point is the assumption that you're always wrong, and that this isn't to be feared. Still you'll need something to hang onto, else your identity will feel hollow and dividual, and even the most selfless people are afraid of losing themselves.
So it's like you get an idea and you assume it's wrong until you can prove it?
Instead of assuming it's right until you see contradictory information?
 

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So it's like you get an idea and you assume it's wrong until you can prove it?
Instead of assuming it's right until you see contradictory information?
Not exactly, because the ideas I'm concerned with are more about an assessment of self-value than a simple statement about the world. Identity is not a thing whose truth is empirically verifiable; only a thing to which we can relate ourselves, and feel legitimized in doing so.
 
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Embrace who you are. Embrace your cognitive functions. Every single one of them. You will never change them. You can only make them, and you, stronger.
 

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Embrace who you are. Embrace your cognitive functions. Every single one of them. You will never change them. You can only make them, and you, stronger.
Cognitive disposition is not static.
 

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I wear a lot of eye makeup and tight low cut tops that show off my goods. Sometimes I have blue or pink streaks in my hair. When I walk, I shake my ass like I'm on a runway and the hottest chick in whole county. Men love it, women hate it. The more response I get - both positive and negative- works for me. I don't know if this would work for you, cause you're a dude, but its all about attitude. If you don't have the attitude of self-confidence you're going to wither up every time.
 

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This happens to me too sometimes. Although it used to be caused more by social anxiety if anything. My main issue is I know I'm a pretty funny, witty person with a lot to offer but I don't really connect with people to show the "true" side of me. Most people just see me on the surface and I probably appear boring or arrogant. I wouldn't consider being confident in your ideas and thinking you're a fairly interesting person to be cocky or confident in a negative context. As long as you don't have a superiority complex or put others down I think it's a good thing, although this can happen subconsciously from time to time I will admit.
 

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I used to have this problem, and I, like you, found it to be lack of confidence. I think it's more or less that it's truly the fact that we spend so much time with ourselves in our heads that making active real life decisions makes us extremely unsure of everything. I have since lost this, because I accepted the fact that Nothing That Has Happened So Far Has Been Anything We Could Control, and that it's always been that way, so we should just accept error. I think the best thing to do in matters that are less important is to make a decision, even if it's one that you're unsure of, and stick with it, because this decision, if you carry it out precisely, will turn out just as good as a decision that you're unsure of that may or may not be better than the decision you're sure of, plus people won't think that you're a whack-job for being so unsure of things. Wow, that is a huge run on sentence. Meh.

As far as how to increase self-confidence? I suggest doing something in real life for the better, something that has to develop to get results. Maybe, if you don't already, work out. Watch how your body changes, and feel how you body differs from before. Already in good shape/don't want to? Maybe take up a new hobby, like singing, playing guitar, solving the rubik's cube, painting, drawing, interpretive dance, whatever. Something that you haven't practiced that much, and observe how things change. That's what did it for me. Just doing things to get out of my shell, and watching as good things developed increased my self-confidence and made me more decisive in making decisions.
 

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I wear a lot of eye makeup and tight low cut tops that show off my goods. Sometimes I have blue or pink streaks in my hair. When I walk, I shake my ass like I'm on a runway and the hottest chick in whole county. Men love it, women hate it. The more response I get - both positive and negative- works for me. I don't know if this would work for you, cause you're a dude, but its all about attitude. If you don't have the attitude of self-confidence you're going to wither up every time.
Pics or it didn't happen.
 

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I wear a lot of eye makeup and tight low cut tops that show off my goods. Sometimes I have blue or pink streaks in my hair. When I walk, I shake my ass like I'm on a runway and the hottest chick in whole county. Men love it, women hate it. The more response I get - both positive and negative- works for me. I don't know if this would work for you, cause you're a dude, but its all about attitude. If you don't have the attitude of self-confidence you're going to wither up every time.
Yeah, I don't think he'll be able to gain a lot of confidence with makeup and hip shaking;
 

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I understand this thread has been done to death, but I found it preferable to have new responses than to consult old threads a majority of which are inconclusive and incomplete.

How do I explain this problem? Basically, I seem to possess this incredibly detrimental ability to unintentionally lose all of my confidence whenever I'm in the company of people, both strangers and friends included. In isolation, I come up with ideas to maintain self-confidence. And I do remain quite self-assured and confident for the subsequent few hours granted the idea worked successfully... then I meet someone and the air of confidence around me starts dissipating incredibly fast. Thus follows the proverbial period of anxiety.

If you couldn't quite comprehend the above passage, ignore it. Just give me some counsel on what the question says.
I'll just quote myself on another thread which is directly related to this subject.


Ahem:

I'm kind of trying to figure that out myself.

But, I guess the way I see it, you won't really have self-esteem unless you have something to show to yourself, to feel like you've earned self-respect.

To me, self-esteem is intertwined with self-respect, and confidence. You can't have one without the others. You can have a semblance of pretense, but that isn't truth.

My INTJ is the picture of confidence. Because he knows enough about himself to know with certainty that what he is saying and doing is right.

I have no certainty-- Not in anything. This can be a strength, but it is also a weakness-- And particularly a weakness for my identity. I trust others more than myself, because of my bad memory, because I am so easily subject to change, etc.

If I learned to trust in myself, my abilities, skills, and knowledge, I think that confidence, self-esteem and self-respect would follow. I suppose that it just begins with self-trust.

I think that by going back to school and specializing in a field where I can actually master something in depth will give me a great deal of self-trust, because it is connected to my perception of myself, and a perception that 'the expert has confidence'.

Ultimately, I am likely deceiving myself.

It is only through complete self-trust that I will experience disillusionment, and relinquish the fetters that bind me to a self-loathing, low self-esteem, low confidence and zero self-respect state.

I hope that this aids you in what you seek. I think in writing this out, for myself, that it is acting as a catalyst, helping me to see the walls of deception I've built around myself.
 

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Cognitive disposition is not static.
According to MBTI, your functional stack, which includes both your subconscious and conscious, IS constant. Your type is conscious and your shadow functions are subconscious. You use all of them all the time, but certain ones can be summoned to conscious experience more readily than others. You are supposed to access your shadow through your more dominant functions. The more you use your conscious functions, the more they will allow you to indirectly access your subconscious functions. Everyday life gets easier as this process makes you more well-rounded, but your best work will come from higher on your functional stack. Understanding this reality allows you to embrace it and own it.
 

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According to MBTI, your functional stack, which includes both your subconscious and conscious, IS constant. Your type is conscious and your shadow functions are subconscious. You use all of them all the time, but certain ones can be summoned to conscious experience more readily than others. You are supposed to access your shadow through your more dominant functions. The more you use your conscious functions, the more they will allow you to indirectly access your subconscious functions. Everyday life gets easier as this process makes you more well-rounded, but your best work will come from higher on your functional stack. Understanding this reality allows you to embrace it and own it.
I respect your opinion.
 
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