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Discussion Starter #1
Fellow ISFP's... is this a problem of ours?

I often feel as though I never really know what I want.

It's as though... I think I want one thing... and then I get it. And then I decide, "Nope, I was wrong." And it's an ever continuing process for me.

Some examples:

I want a relationship.
Nevermind! I don't want a relationship!

I want someone intelligent.
No, I want someone fun!

I want to finish school.
Oh, but it's just so draining! I don't feel like I'm living!

I want to live and experience life!
Oh, but I'm getting myself nowhere in the realms of success!

I don't want success!
Oh, but I hate living hand and mouth!


I constantly feel stuck, and I hate this feeling.
 

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Exactly what I do and have done all the time... From my music, to what to do with my life. I have a real hard time deciding and following through on ONE definite path on anything.

What I have learned though, is that it isn't so important to be so stiff and stay on "one path" (I couldn't anyway), but much more important to go in the right direction, and really move ahead the best I can in that direction. To accept that I don't know exactly what I want, but I do know what the general feel and thing I want, and I can do many things to move steadily in that direction.

Maybe it is just that our F just isn't a static thing, it is more flowing and changing, with an in-the-moment S and an indecisive P... Like when I feel inspired and good, my WHOLE LIFE is just great, and can see the bright future. Then, if I feel depressed and down, the world is terrible and can hardly imagine life being good again.

I also want to say this: That my outlook on life, my future, my decisions and what I do is almost DETERMINED by how I feel in that moment. It comes down to how I feel. If I feel inspired and good, I can see a bright, inspiring future, I do what I need to do, make good, intelligent choices. If I feel down and depressed... My future is something I want to hide from, because there can't be any good in it for me. I make lousy decisions, retreat from others... And make STUPID decisions. I have done some STUPID stuff, wasted a lot of time, done some unhealthy things, against my own values even... one of them that cost me almost all of my money and lots of criticism from my mom (when I had donated it to all to a children's charity).

So learning to control how I feel is one of the most important things I need to learn and do to live successfully.

OK goodnight peoples, my bed is calling for me... I need to dream of beautiful landscapes and new planets, brownies, guitars and ENFJ women...
 

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I can't thank you enough for this thread.

I have every one of those thoughts you described, and "stuck" is the word I would use to describe at least the last 10 months or so of my life.

I don't think we would have these problems if we didn't live in a world dominated by J values. I think our society is just not perceiver friendly. You look around see it everywhere. All the xxFPs feel trapped and powerless in the world and are always mentioning in a post or a blog somewhere that they can't find happiness in the world. And all the xxTPs find the condition of our world just as deplorable, the only difference being that they're laughing at it with a sick desperation in their voice instead of crying on the inside like us.

But we keep on going, getting just enough "freedom" in our lives that we manage to make it to work on time...

There is a solution to this out there. I'll find it yet.
 

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I was thinking of the description that TheLuckyOne posted in my (Examples for "F" of an ISFP) thread:

"I think it's important not to overthink things. I guess I know generally how I feel about things, but I often don't really consciously think about it until a situation comes up, and then I just respond in whatever way feels right at the time. I don't think you can really prepare for the most important moments in life because you never really know what things are going to be like until you get there and feel for yourself how it affects you, emotionally and physically. I'm usually pretty good at figuring out how other people feel, too--just from watching them and thinking about how I'd feel if I were in their shoes. It's really important to treat people in a caring and understanding way--I know that's how I'd want them to treat me. More than anything, I guess, I just want to be who I am and not try to overanalyze or define things more heavily than I need to. Just feel it out, do what seems moral and feels right to you in that moment and you'll know what to do when the time comes."

- I think indecisiveness can be a good thing because it shows us the possibility of having experiences with things we want. We're great perceivers in that we're constantly growing/developing and we try to make the most of our moments, however we feel in the moment.
 

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Discussion Starter #8
Oh, how I hate my Dell mini and it's recent ultra sensitive mouse pad. I delicate touch from my palm, causes entire paragraphs to disappear. Le sigh.
 

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If you're not disturbed, you're not paying attention.
I like this quote. Did you make it up yourself? It is very thought provoking and holds a lot of truth to it.

It reminds me of "You don't see with your eyes, you perceive with your mind." -Gorillaz
 

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One of the best pieces of advice I've heard recently was this: be like Indiana Jones. He always lived in the moment and embraced uncertainty.

Why bother worrying about the future? The only way you can truly figure out what works and what doesn't is to try something, anything. I've just recently learned to fully accept that. I've been so fucking terrified about making the right choice, when so many great people have screwed up:


I would highly recommend reading this:


Our world is complex, and it needs heuristics for us to be effective.

One heuristic that works when we’re young is “listen to your parents,” because otherwise, we might die. Another adult heuristic might be “find an expert, and do what they say,” although that’s getting more and more complex these days.

The other day I verbalized a heuristic that I’ve been living for years. It is what has helped me deal with a massive inbox, what has helped me recognize and grasp opportunity, and what I think has helped me move forward much more quickly than I anticipated I would.

As you’ve guessed by now, the rule is

decide quickly, and live with the consequences.

Many people freeze up when they have a lot of stuff to do. They get overwhelmed and paralyzed with indecision. They worry about whether what they’re doing is right. But most of that doesn’t matter.

Your decisions are much less consequential than you think they are.

That’s why this rule is amazing. If you use it during times of stress you will find yourself whizzing by hard problems and leaving them behind. If you’re smart, it works, because it subverts your overthinking brain and lets you live with the decisions you’ve made.

Another rule that works alongside this one is

if you’re unsure, say yes.

This rule is great alongside the ‘fast decision’ rule because it lets you make mistakes quickly without missing opportunity.

If you make a mistake and say yes to something you shouldn’t have, then no worries– you’ve learned from it and you won’t be unsure next time… you’ll just say no.

These rules are just a small subset of a decision tree I use for daily life. It isn’t perfect, but it’s improving, and it helps me make the most of my day, and hopefully of my life.

Maybe one day I’ll unleash it on the world or something. Until then, I hope these help.


(from the site: http://inoveryourhead.net/archives/)http://inoveryourhead.net/two-ways-to-make-better-decisions/
 

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I like this quote. Did you make it up yourself? It is very thought provoking and holds a lot of truth to it.

It reminds me of "You don't see with your eyes, you perceive with your mind." -Gorillaz
I feel like it's been said before or at least something similar, but I wasn't quoting anyone there, that was straight from the heart.

And that's from "Clint Eastwood" correct? that song blows me away every time I hear it, as does the video for Feel Good Inc.
 

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I feel like it's been said before or at least something similar, but I wasn't quoting anyone there, that was straight from the heart.

And that's from "Clint Eastwood" correct? that song blows me away every time I hear it, as does the video for Feel Good Inc.
Yup, one of the best songs ever made imo. XD Have you checked out the meaning to the song? Its quite deep, and I agree it is mind blowing as well. As is many of their other songs like Feel Good Inc.

Clint Eastwood Lyrics Meaning - Gorillaz Song Meanings
 

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haha, I go through the same thing all the time man.

My current indecision is whether or not to take this summer class (and spend my summer away from home) are wait til the fall (but of course there are other reprucussions to that of which I won't bore you with the details).

The worst thing to do is put off that decision though. I do it, and it always comes back to bite me in the ass...
 

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To go on, I was having a pretty deep talk with a friend the other day.
We both believed that a person doesn't necessarily have a "purpose" in life. You can be whatever you want to be. Not God, nor parents, nor authorities, nor anyone else can or should make that decision for you. We're not "chosen" to be something.

And so, especially at this crossroads in my life, I find myself under so much stress all the time because I'm worried I'll make the WRONG choice and screw up my life. I'm worried I'll end up in a place I don't really want to be.

Probably my biggest fear in life is to end up, say 30 years down the road, in a boring desk job I can't stand, a boss I hate, a bad marriage, and I'm looking back saying to myself "if I had only done what I REALLY wanted to do, I wouldn't have wasted my life to this monotonous end." It weighs on me night and day.

Anyways, sorry to rant, that just sort of popped into my head :/
 
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