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I think a lot of young INFPs might have an issue with this... I am extremely indecisive, I feel like there is zillion options that might or might not be good and it's just so hard to choose. I hesitate to take an action and try out all of them, because I want to be sure, that what I do is in touch with what I feel is right for me. Because of that a lot of people think, I am simply passive and lazy, while I just have a huge mindf*cks in my head... I feel like everything and nothing at the same time, like my mind is all over the place, but yet it wants just one thing, but the one thing is almost untouchable.

How do you deal with these kind of issues INFPs? Is it more of a problem for youngsters and can you grow up from this?
 

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I agree with you. As well, people around me think I'm lazy because I don't want to try anything but then it's really just be wanting everything and hating the regret of doing one thing and making the wrong choice without being able to go back on it. In the end, it's really my own fault when I skip out on the chance to do it.

I think relationships are the hardest as well. I have such expectations for people and then end up choosing not to do anything with that person because of fear of failure. It really screws with my life.

How I deal with it? It's pretty much gambling. If I pick something, I'll take and try not to look back at the other options because there's no point (I would have to force myself to think this way). You get this period of time where you take a leap of faith and just grab whatever you can or else you won't ever have that chance again.


Just keep moving and don't look back too often. Regrets are really painful.
 

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yep, I'm always in a constant battle with indecisiveness. whether it's the big stuff or the small things. I feel like I know what I want out of life, but how to achieve them? what careers to choose? I always seem to beat an idea to death until I finally, finally decide on something.... until I begin second-guessing myself & then I'm right back to square one.

even with the small things like 'what do I want for lunch?' I seem to be in a constant state of flux whenever I look at a menu. then here comes the waitress & I end up asking "which do you like better?", cross my fingers & hope for the best.

basically, I mercy-kill my indecisiveness by wussing out & letting others make my decisions for me. hopefully I'll only wuss out on deciding between sandwiches rather than big life decisions.
 

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I struggled with this, and I can't say I have fully overcome this problem. Quite ironic, since my first name(Faizal) is supposed to mean "decisive" in Arabic.

Currently, I have been debating whether I should get a part time job or take care of my grandfather at home.
Then,
I will be serving in the military in a few month's time(military service is compulsory in my country), not looking forward to it, but hey gotta suck it up.

Then after serving, there will be a lot of paths which I have to take, either go college or work...there are times where I feel so useless because of my indecisiveness. There are times where I feel that my life is being controlled by others.

But you know what?
At the end of the day, you own yourself. Nobody else owns you. You choose your decisions, or the lack of it.
The key thing is to keep moving forward. If you can't find the answers right now, you will find it along the road.
 

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I think a lot of young INFPs might have an issue with this... I am extremely indecisive, I feel like there is zillion options that might or might not be good and it's just so hard to choose. I hesitate to take an action and try out all of them, because I want to be sure, that what I do is in touch with what I feel is right for me. Because of that a lot of people think, I am simply passive and lazy, while I just have a huge mindf*cks in my head... I feel like everything and nothing at the same time, like my mind is all over the place, but yet it wants just one thing, but the one thing is almost untouchable.

How do you deal with these kind of issues INFPs? Is it more of a problem for youngsters and can you grow up from this?
I still feel like this when it comes to picking a career. I started out as a Business major, then I decided that I did not want to do that any longer and I switched to being a Communications major...then I decided that I did not want to do that any longer and I switched to IT...and now I am a Social Work major. I just think that at some point you really just have to let go and LIVE...because you are going to make mistakes in life no matter how carefully you choose to go about it. I follow my intuition a whole lot more now and it has been the best decision I have ever made. I try to not overthink things, I just follow my heart and do what "feels" right.
 

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I'm actually surprised a burst of decisiveness came from just leaving my job. Though, internally I'm thinking 'WHAT THE HECK AM I DOING?!?!?!'. But I hear you. Being decisive is challenging because variables change all the time. I hate the feeling of sticking to something if something bigger and better may be around the corner. I mean, think of all the variables out there. I mean, one, people change frequently. Two, luck.... you never know if you're gonna get it or not. Three... gah, I can't actually even fathom all the variables that could affect a decision.

In the same breath, once I do commit... I commit. Honestly though, I think the only thing I've actually committed to is staying with my husband (he is the best match for who I am as a person and have no desire to let that go). It takes a lot of trial and error for me to get to a point where I feel comfortable with the decisions I make.
 

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In my experience I am indecisive with things I am not sure how I feel about and things that I don't really care about. If I have a strong value that relates to a choice or once I have mulled over something and my Fi is satisfied with my conclusion, I can be unmercifully decisive (to the surprise of many that know me) But I'm very laissez faire with most things in life, so there isn't an easy way for me to come to a definitive conclusion in those areas. As I have grown older I have just learned to identify choices in my life that really won't have much of an impact and just (almost randomly) make a choice and see what happens. You will be surprised on how many decision you make that are totally not worth expending the energy fretting over.
 
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