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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Does anyone feel like this? I feel about 90% that I have found the type that best discribes me but when I read discriptions of my type it sounds so not me. but none of the descriptions sounds like me really. Is there something wrong with me? lol
I have a slight preference for E in that I am slightly more extroverted than introverted but lately act more introverted due to circumstances. I honestly don't think I will get this one resolved to my satisfaction until my life circumstances change. In a sense I am isolated from the real world for a while, long story won't bore you.
I have a slight preference for S. I tend to think more like an S when it comes to the senses, detail orriented, astute observation, here and now person and extremely practical, but I do like to ponder the meaning of life and other such esoteric practices once in a while, but not for long lol. Classification is really important to me. I like to know what I am. I do not like gray area. Very black and white. However I do like to get lost in a good fiction book or movie which seems more N as that wouldn't be the real world or here and now.
I am moderately F in that my morals and convictions do play a huge role in my decision making and I am very in tune with my feelings internally, but I am not always comfortable expressing them.
I am a decisive J the only thing that isn't 100% J about me is I prefer not to be in a responsible role but tend to be in them by default because no one wants to step up.
but to call me the caregiver makes me shudder because that is exactly what I am right now and I hate it. I would much prefer someone taking care of me.
Would love thoughts on this and also other inventories to break it down even further would be interesting. I am aware so called free tests/inventories aren't the real deal but any links to get some idea would be really interesting to me.
 

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The fact that you do not assume leadership but it just happens to fall upon you seems to be evidence of your Fe function. The Te (extraverted thinking) is more prone to taking charge than Fe. You like things decided but not necessarily to be the person deciding it. You said you "are not always comfortable" expressing your feelings. This might just be due to having experienced negative reactions when you've done so in the past, or it could just be that your introverted side (Si) assumes a more dominant role sometimes. I may be wrong.
 
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quick read of your post - you definitely sound like an 'SJ' temperment. maybe it would be easier to look at all the SJ types and see which one best describes you?

so - ISFJ, ISTJ, ESTJ, or ESFJ. maybe one fits you better than another?

also - I think people are more dynamic than typing gives them credit for. we are more than letters... and even within the same types, people are vastly different.

best of luck on your search!
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
I think I understand. (quoting here from wikipedia)
Dominant: Extraverted feeling (Fe)
Fe seeks social connections and creates harmonious interactions through polite, considerate, and appropriate behavior. Fe responds to the explicit (and implicit) wants of others, and may even create an internal conflict between the subject’s own needs and the desire to meet the needs of others.

How I would explain myself is I feel a compulsion to do what I percieve is the right behavior, but it isn't always from an altruistic desire to put others first. It is almost like I have an overdeveloped conscience, plus the great need to be appreciated and valued. The descriptions of a Fe often make me sound like this wonderfully self sacrificing saint but in reality if people often knew what I was really thinking, I think they would not think I was so nice. Is this typical of the Fe?
After readign the typical breakdown of the ESFJ it totally sounds like me
Dominant: Extraverted feeling (Fe)
Fe seeks social connections and creates harmonious interactions through polite, considerate, and appropriate behavior. Fe responds to the explicit (and implicit) wants of others, and may even create an internal conflict between the subject’s own needs and the desire to meet the needs of others. [15]

[edit] Auxiliary: Introverted sensing (Si)
Si collects data in the present moment and compares it with past experiences, a process that sometimes evokes the feelings associated with memory, as if the subject were reliving it. Seeking to protect what is familiar, Si draws upon history to form goals and expectations about what will happen in the future. [16]

[edit] Tertiary: Extraverted intuition (Ne)
Ne finds and interprets hidden meanings, using “what if” questions to explore alternatives, allowing multiple possibilities to coexist. This imaginative play weaves together insights and experiences from various sources to form a new whole, which can then become a catalyst to action.[17]

[edit] Inferior: Introverted thinking (Ti)
Ti seeks precision, such as the exact word to express an idea. It notices the minute distinctions that define the essence of things, then analyzes and classifies them. Ti examines all sides of an issue, looking to solve problems while minimizing effort and risk. It uses models to root out logical inconsistency. [18]

still reading. I find all this incredibly facinating.
 

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^ Yes, that is very Fe. Fe sees Feeling as very much a give & take. They give & expect others to give back, which may explain why you also want to be "taken care of". Since you take care of others, it makes sense for you to receive that back in kind.

The type profiles are something like caricatures of what a type often looks like; few will see themselves perfectly in one. Many floating around on the net are also poorly written, IMO.

What you express sounds pretty consistent with being ESFJ. MBTI is meant to type mental attitudes, not behavior, so in considering your type, you're on the right track to consider how you think over how you act.
 
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Yes. It is definitely typical of the friends I have had who had strong Fe. One of them confided in me that he tends to always have negative, critical thoughts about everyone, but also has a strong drive to be useful to them, for whatever reasons.

Another friend can be secretly angry for a long time without saying anything, goes on being the good helper until he can't anymore, then withdraws entirely.

Granted, both of those people are INFJs, so Fe is secondary to their Ni. I imagine this problem could be even more pronounced in an ESFJ.

My aunt is an ESFJ, and loves being that type. She is always playing hostess to everyone, but sometimes overextends herself, much to her own psychological detriment. She isn't necessarily doing it because she likes them. Some of her friends are quite obnoxious. It's just how she is.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
very interesting! I really am starting to feel at home with this type. for years I masked as a variety of other types. It feels good to finally feel at home so to speak. I guess the one thing that disturbs me is I read that ESFJs are the most social of all of the 16 types and I am not really that social but that could simply be a reflection of the fact I only have a slight preference of extroversion.
Thanks again guys.
 

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I've always thought of ESFPs as more social than ESFJs. :mellow:
 

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I've always thought of ESFPs as more social than ESFJs. :mellow:
I would think that ESFJs would be more people oriented, in general, only because of the Fe.
 

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I would think that ESFJs would be more people oriented, in general, only because of the Fe.
I agree on the Fe being more people oriented. Maybe I'm drawing to much on the SJ/SP temperament stereotypes...

But I also wouldn't equate "social" with "people oriented" straight away. I'm the latter, but not the former...
 

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I agree on the Fe being more people oriented. Maybe I'm drawing to much on the SJ/SP temperament stereotypes...

But I also wouldn't equate "social" with "people oriented" straight away. I'm the latter, but not the former...
Actually, I think you're right. That never really occurred to me. And I have noticed that Se-doms tend to be fairly extroverted in the social sense, though I'm not sure why. Mostly because I don't really understand Se so well :laughing:

Anyway, that kinds reminds me of my mom who I think is an INFJ but may be an ENFJ. She's not social in that she has many friends that she goes out with or that she even desires to go out with people other than her family, but she's very able to handle social situations and can be extremely gregarious.
 
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