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36 Posts
ENFJ
Dominant: Fe Auxiliary: Ni Tertiary: Se Inferior: Ti
Shadow Function: An insane ISTP
So a couple of years ago, I had what you could call an existential crisis, or a period of depression, or an awakening...whatever. Through all of it, I kept having this lingering feeling that there was something in the back of my mind. Now the "thing" that I kept feeling like I was forgetting, that kept changing, because it was really my mind reeling from all the new all-over the place out of control thoughts (probably the awakening of, or coming into full being of my Ni) and some of them were really out there and circular. But, even though my thoughts or "problem" that I was working on changed and varied, I kept feeling that there was this constant force there lurking below the surface. I decided it was depression, or something of the sort, because I had no other way to describe it.
I discovered that the feeling only dissipated when I talked about what was on my mind to a friend (INFP of course!), not even to any conclusion, just getting my thoughts and feelings and contradictory ideas off my chest and *this is key* have them understood and validated by someone who actually "got" what I was talking about, allowed the feeling to lift in a way that even writing it out couldn't. Kind of a purging, in a way.
Since then, I've learned to engage and harness that nagging feeling (my inferior introverted thinking), and know that sometimes, once I get a problem into my head, I'm going to obsess over it for a few days or a few weeks, and just have see where that leads me. It's taxing, but now that I can recognize it, and tackle one thing at a time, I find I benefit from it. It's sort of like when my friends talk about going on meditative retreats. I journey into the brambles of my mind, and its a little scary and dark, but I wrestle my way through, and when I come out again, I'm much more sure of myself and can usually really clearly articulate my feelings on a complicated subject quite easily and eloquently, to myself and to others. Little does the person know that my wise pithy statement may well have been months or years in the discovery process. But hey, as long as they think I'm wise, that's what counts!
I know there were a lot of factors going on at once for me that one particular summer, essentially a Perfect Storm and total overload, and that it was probably high stress and too many questions and feelings going on at once that kicked my shadow function into presenting itself.
What happened was a form of mental anguish that I would characterize as anxiety/depression. BUT it was uncommon, in that while mentally it was quite all consuming and crippling, I was able to function fairly normally in day to day life (only I cried a lot) and socializing with friends, I seemed perfectly normal, even if in some ways I was on auto-pilot.
Essentially I was mentally hibernating and had completely retreated within my own mind in my attempt to take in information (somewhat wantonly) and use logic (not big picture connections like with iNtuitive logic which I'm great at and was also in overdrive at the time, but details Ti logic, which is definitely my handicap) to understand my new thoughts and emotions (to the point where I basically ruled out anything unknowable outside the five senses, or anything abstract as completely irrelevant, and art as an evil illusion--I have an ISTP friend and she actually openly believes all these things, but for her it's her real perspective, and tempered with a relatively healthy outlook (I still don't think she's the most well-adjusted person, but that's not the point at all) and does not manifest itself in the troubling ways it did to me. Because for me, these was not my real beliefs, but rather the very opposite, inhibiting my most trusted and reliable means of engaging the world, feeling terrified and confused by the things that (until then) brought me the most comfort and pleasure, and denying myself the very things that give my life the most meaning.
Shadow functions are sick.
So my question, or rather, the discussion topic I'd like to raise, is how do you deal with your inferior function? Have you learned to understand or appreciate it as you mature? And what experiences have you had with your shadow function?
Dominant: Fe Auxiliary: Ni Tertiary: Se Inferior: Ti
Shadow Function: An insane ISTP
So a couple of years ago, I had what you could call an existential crisis, or a period of depression, or an awakening...whatever. Through all of it, I kept having this lingering feeling that there was something in the back of my mind. Now the "thing" that I kept feeling like I was forgetting, that kept changing, because it was really my mind reeling from all the new all-over the place out of control thoughts (probably the awakening of, or coming into full being of my Ni) and some of them were really out there and circular. But, even though my thoughts or "problem" that I was working on changed and varied, I kept feeling that there was this constant force there lurking below the surface. I decided it was depression, or something of the sort, because I had no other way to describe it.
I discovered that the feeling only dissipated when I talked about what was on my mind to a friend (INFP of course!), not even to any conclusion, just getting my thoughts and feelings and contradictory ideas off my chest and *this is key* have them understood and validated by someone who actually "got" what I was talking about, allowed the feeling to lift in a way that even writing it out couldn't. Kind of a purging, in a way.
Since then, I've learned to engage and harness that nagging feeling (my inferior introverted thinking), and know that sometimes, once I get a problem into my head, I'm going to obsess over it for a few days or a few weeks, and just have see where that leads me. It's taxing, but now that I can recognize it, and tackle one thing at a time, I find I benefit from it. It's sort of like when my friends talk about going on meditative retreats. I journey into the brambles of my mind, and its a little scary and dark, but I wrestle my way through, and when I come out again, I'm much more sure of myself and can usually really clearly articulate my feelings on a complicated subject quite easily and eloquently, to myself and to others. Little does the person know that my wise pithy statement may well have been months or years in the discovery process. But hey, as long as they think I'm wise, that's what counts!
I know there were a lot of factors going on at once for me that one particular summer, essentially a Perfect Storm and total overload, and that it was probably high stress and too many questions and feelings going on at once that kicked my shadow function into presenting itself.
What happened was a form of mental anguish that I would characterize as anxiety/depression. BUT it was uncommon, in that while mentally it was quite all consuming and crippling, I was able to function fairly normally in day to day life (only I cried a lot) and socializing with friends, I seemed perfectly normal, even if in some ways I was on auto-pilot.
Essentially I was mentally hibernating and had completely retreated within my own mind in my attempt to take in information (somewhat wantonly) and use logic (not big picture connections like with iNtuitive logic which I'm great at and was also in overdrive at the time, but details Ti logic, which is definitely my handicap) to understand my new thoughts and emotions (to the point where I basically ruled out anything unknowable outside the five senses, or anything abstract as completely irrelevant, and art as an evil illusion--I have an ISTP friend and she actually openly believes all these things, but for her it's her real perspective, and tempered with a relatively healthy outlook (I still don't think she's the most well-adjusted person, but that's not the point at all) and does not manifest itself in the troubling ways it did to me. Because for me, these was not my real beliefs, but rather the very opposite, inhibiting my most trusted and reliable means of engaging the world, feeling terrified and confused by the things that (until then) brought me the most comfort and pleasure, and denying myself the very things that give my life the most meaning.
Shadow functions are sick.
So my question, or rather, the discussion topic I'd like to raise, is how do you deal with your inferior function? Have you learned to understand or appreciate it as you mature? And what experiences have you had with your shadow function?