I would impose that a lot of times this is due to people not letting go of what they already is accustomed to. And not trusting that they are able wing of off the transition.
As far as the Sheldon question...why say that his inferior function has to be Fe or Fi? I mean I see your int on how he goes into an emotional child like stage when struck with sickness or depressed. But why would this indicate an inferior F function in the stacking order? To me though he shows a lot of emotional situations other than the deep indulging ones that you point out, of couse I am not implying Feeling = emotions either. Maybe he is relating to his inner child when his mother would comfort him and is his happy place?!?! of track some but maybe?
: new aquaintance tells me "please tell me sometimes life is not fair" and progresses to tell me about how they had applied for a job and soon found out it was being offered to their sister - who didn't really want the position but might take it "for now". The sister (at the moment) is in a better financial situation than my new friend who was apparently not considered.
Me - "That does Suck . . . Have you had anyone look at your resume and give you advise?"
I KNOW the "Dale Carnegie" thing to say . . . "You are right it's not fair . . . you must feel frustrated . . ." If I knew for a fact that this women felt pushed to the breaking point and was worried and depressed, the dale carnegie response might have been the better choice.
My own inner processing of annecdotal same situation:
. . . Wow that sucks . . . I am envious and this does not feel good . . . I wonder what exactly gave them the edge?, . . . My presentation?, lack of credentials?, . . . should I be looking for a variation of skill requirements?, . . . or is it really just a numbers game and I need to stay the course? (Ne - Ti taking over) Puting myself in her place, I mean if it was me . . . .
I would not be ABLE to hold back my curiosity - it is my LEADING function.
Now lets assume I got this same news after stress upon stress, . . . roof leak at my shop, shedule crunch/failure, sub contactor painted something backwards - backwards!, . . . and I need this account, in fact, I will have to stall on the rent! . . . I go to a coffee shop, nice atmosphere and some good soup. I don't do this often (more often a rahmen consumer) but I sooo need a break. . . . I go there to brood.
My own inner processing of annecdotal same situation near stress breaking point:
While sitting at the coffee shop. . .
. . . maybe I am a defective piece of crap, . . . maybe life is meaningless and brain-dead resignation is all there is. . . If I have to go out right now and take the first shit job I can get, I will just live in a rat-hole and wait for death. . . If you are willing to take a job nooobody wants, of course you can be employed. Maybe everyone just medicates themselves with the substance abuse of their choice. . . over spending . . . . over eating . . . gossip . . . I wanted to have integrity and believe there is a meaningful place for me on the planet, where I fit . . . where I excell . . .
If someone is around and pushes me to talk:
Same monolog only much louder . . . and the ranting gets more exaggerated . . . If I am lucky, it gets so outrageous that I accidentaly make my self laugh. (other person left with mouth hanging open) The worst thing about this is that some people don't know that as soon as I am fully vented, (one sitting - not calling 10 people or even one) it's like dumping out your purse because it got overloaded with crap; when it is all on the table you can see what you will still have to deal with and what you can throw away. life goes on and I'm ready to go back to thinking what my next move will be.
My point in all this is that the only reason I can see choices about how to respond to other people is that I am old enough to have been forced into a more balanced perspective.
I haven't been mean to people to avoid feelings, more like I was just clueless. I still feel an internal cringe to empathise, if I know someone enough to know it won't lead to at least a minor adjustment, a tweak in policy, procedure, direction, or understanding. Of course empathy is all there is for some things. I never intend to be unkind and I don't believe it is my mission to change anyone. Reflective listening works, but sometimes it seems only self serving.