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1. I wasn't English educated (I'm Middle Eastern but we had a few English classes a week, nothing intensive), so most of my education comes from books and watching TV shows. So I feel incredibly self-conscious when I'm talking to someone and I pronounce some word wrong - because I wasn't exposed to it except in written format or something. I end up feeling very embarrassed and inferior, hell I'm even embarrassed writing this.

:unsure:

2. Whenever I see someone talk about something I know absolutely nothing about. That usually triggers a lot of envy and resentment. "Why can't I be like that?" kind of thing.

3. Similarly, seeing someone perform amazingly at something I wish I was good at, but can't be because it requires talent, or a skill I don't have. That just flat out depresses me. If it's something I know I can be as good at, then I just snap into competitive mode.

This is an awesome thread, by the way.. I'll come back later after I've thought about it some more, because I'm sure I don't have just three inferiority triggers.
 

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^ Why are all of my inferiority triggers related to competency?
 

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1.) I hate admitting this, but physical appearance is sometimes a huge trigger for me. I grew up being teased and bullied for my appearance. I loathed my appearance to an absurd degree. I was very scrawny until about age 14, when a combination of serious depression plus my medications caused me to put on some weight. At sixteen I developed a serious eating disorder. My appearance changed completely and I started receiving tons of positive attention, though I became even more insecure as a response (reaffirmed the fear that my inherent worth matters less than external factors, and the way I'm treated is contingent upon something temporal). 10 years later... I have mostly recovered from the actual disorder. I think my level of "attractiveness" is now pretty average, but after having been on both ends of the spectrum (once considered hideous, once considered gorgeous), my body image issues are still intense.

I feel like, I'm old enough now that I should really gtf over it. And while I am no longer nearly as incapacitated by my body dysmorphia, I'm still horribly triggered sometimes by certain people or images of people. I am full of so much self-loathing for my appearance that it's physically painful to look in the mirror or at a picture.

2.) Another inferiority trigger is level of education. I have my Associates of Arts degree, but it took me a long time to get it, I'm still working on my Bachelor's. This is for a number of reasons but I won't bother trying to "justify" it. When I am close to others who achieve great things, academically, I feel so inferior. I resent myself for taking so long or "throwing away" my dreams. I was considered very intelligent growing up and I sort of clung to that identity, now I don't feel I have it. And while I rationally understand that there are intelligent, educated, stupid and ignorant people all across the board of academic achievement, it's still a trigger.

3.) Also I am triggered by people who are just more... witty, cultured, talented, traveled, or emotionally stable and "put together". I'm super envious of people who seem uninhibited emotionally, or in terms of personality and expression. I am currently coming to realize just how far removed I've made myself, from other people, by being so withdrawn and guarded. I'm missing out on so many things. I don't know how to fix it. I feel inadequate.

For example. There's this one guy I was sort of becoming friends with, and was even a bit interested in, but all of a sudden he up and moves to another state for some internship. He has all these amazing opportunities and stories of his past, and such a bright future. I am jealous of that and feel inferior. I want to experience so much more of life.
 

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I hate it when people tell me that I should be doing more than I am in my life. Things like my parents telling me to get a job when I already feel like I have my hands full with school. That makes me feel like crap because I know that tons of students at my school can handle a part-time job. I'm hard enough on myself, so I feel like I have no room in me for criticisms and critiques about my life (no matter how nicely they're delivered). Or the other day when my boyfriend said that I really should take my stuff out of boxes (just moved 16 days ago). That made me really defensive and snippy. He said it super nicely, but I took it as a direct attack at my competency, as always. In these types of situations, I don't stop to think about what I'm gonna say. I just want to prove that I'm "right", make the conversation end as soon as possible, and take one of my Xanax. I resist the urge to yell and scream, but that still happens once every couple of years with my mom =\ Looks like I have some kind of competency complex....
 

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-- Someone else having a passion and living it, as I feel I have once, but have lost the means to do so again. Can't find a place/direction in which to "actualize" myself. (Living in a wonderland and not reality.)

-- Someone enjoying a genuine romantic relationship. I sometimes wonder if I'll be able to find that again. Main problem being that I am picky and tend to get bored/lose interest. Probably related to not having found a good sense of self on which to build.

spectralsparrow said:
2.) Another inferiority trigger is level of education. I have my Associates of Arts degree, but it took me a long time to get it, I'm still working on my Bachelor's. This is for a number of reasons but I won't bother trying to "justify" it. When I am close to others who achieve great things, academically, I feel so inferior. I resent myself for taking so long or "throwing away" my dreams. I was considered very intelligent growing up and I sort of clung to that identity, now I don't feel I have it. And while I rationally understand that there are intelligent, educated, stupid and ignorant people all across the board of academic achievement, it's still a trigger.
-- ^^YES. Someone similar to me (like my friend) who finds it much easier to consistently perform in the discipline that we are both a part of. When I actually work, which takes me forever, my end product might be better, but if she put in that effort, it would be just as good. I wish I had more talent, often times. I think I am really smart in my own way (and have been told this), but I still envy those that are smart in a more traditional sense, since it seems like it is easier for them to demonstrate themselves. I compare myself too much!

Also I am triggered by people who are just more... witty, cultured, talented, traveled, or emotionally stable and "put together". I'm super envious of people who seem uninhibited emotionally, or in terms of personality and expression. I am currently coming to realize just how far removed I've made myself, from other people, by being so withdrawn and guarded. I'm missing out on so many things. I don't know how to fix it. I feel inadequate.
-- ^^YES. But I'm getting better at this!!!!!! I have some really close girl friends (and that's all I really need?) but I seem to have a really hard time socializing with girls that I don't know fairly well. I think comes from scarring things in my past, but I am so envious of the natural fun and bonding that other girls seem to share together, even that just met. I feel SO COMFORTABLE with guys, but girls scare me. It's an irrational phobia. I really like people and I am triggered in these situations because I see how much I am missing out on what is actually harmless.

-- I feel like people think I am not living up to my potential and in some ways I agree strongly. If I disagree, it's because I feel as if I'm building for something that will manifest later down the line. I don't *think* this is an illusion but it could be. Thoughts about whether I am waisting my potential or not triggers my inferiority feelings.

More than anything I just feel *RAGING PISSED* because I had all this passion and natural enthusiasm for a project that didn't work out. Feel like a failure. Why didn't it work out? Probably because was blinded by my illusory Fi to the degree that I wasn't able to save myself in time. I will never live this one down! << People who are practical enough to manifest their dreams << THIS IS WHO I WANT TO BE.
 

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Lately I've been feeling like I'm in a jealous corner. Noticed more and more my patterns of envy.
The 4 kind of envy.

I feel inferior and envious of people that seem to have it all "together".
Nice looks, a car, an apartment, friends. Like, that image of perfection and living a full life and looking like you're so... accomplished. Especially if I'm going to have sex with that person.

I just feel so insecure and envious of this person that's so... complete and accomplished, and I just can't get why that person would want to sleep with me. Me! He's fucking gorgeous and he wants to sleep with me?

I've found that the only way to really feel comfortable with these people is to see their dark sides, to know that they have their crazy, just like the rest of us mortals.
 
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I've found that the only way to really feel comfortable with these people is to see their dark sides, to know that they have their crazy, just like the rest of us mortals.
Same. Then you come to realize the more depressing fact that you have habituated yourself to a feeling of lack, and that it doesn't seem to change even when more positive circumstances present themselves.
 

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Same. Then you come to realize the more depressing fact that you have habituated yourself to a feeling of lack, and that it doesn't seem to change even when more positive circumstances present themselves.
That is absolutely true. I think being able to connect is one of the things 4s need to learn to do, because connecting with your surroundings, the people around you, that can really benefit you.
 

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That is absolutely true. I think being able to connect is one of the things 4s need to learn to do, because connecting with your surroundings, the people around you, that can really benefit you.
Yes, and then through a feeling of real connection with that person, what they have (their qualities), etc., don't seem neither as foreign or as menacing. The world becomes a friendlier place.
 

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I think my biggest inferiority trigger is being called out about being too sensitive in a negative tone. I hate it because that make's my sensitivity come to the surface and I can't prove them wrong.

Being told I somehow disappointed someone I was doing something for is another one.

I became pretty indifferent of other triggers throughout high school.
 

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Triggers: No real job, live with parents, zero ambition in life, bad work ethic, mediocre friend, childish behavior, masculinity issues, solipsism, lazy, envious about stupid thing.......Positive things: I like my looks, great musician, deep appreciation for nature and art, strong principles, live in a good environment, don't do drugs, it's an interesting world............So yeah it all balances out in the end :tongue:
 
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