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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
These days, I prefer being alone as I really need the down time. I know I need the alone time, but sometimes I just feel so alienated from things and people- like there is no connection. I see people here and there and I feel like I am more an observer, but not part of things going on. and this frustrates me.

i think a part of this is because i just moved to a new place 1.5 months ago and i don't feel like there's much of a social /friendship community in my workplace and most people are simply busy with their own lives. I have made some friends during this time , and i see them regularly.. i know things will get better once i have a solid social network of support, but for right now i feel so alienated and yeah

Not too sure or clear on my thoughts about this but would love to hear what you guys think about this
 

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al·ien·ate (ly-nt, l--)
tr.v. al·ien·at·ed, al·ien·at·ing, al·ien·ates
1. To cause to become unfriendly or hostile; estrange: alienate a friend; alienate potential supporters by taking extreme positions. See Synonyms at estrange.
2. To cause to become withdrawn or unresponsive; isolate or dissociate emotionally: The numbing labor tended to alienate workers.
3. To cause to be transferred; turn away: "He succeeded . . . in alienating the affections of my only ward" (Oscar Wilde).
4. Law To transfer (property or a right) to the ownership of another, especially by an act of the owner rather than by inheritance.

2 and 3 for me.

For me, lately I have felt alienated at my church, by people who I cared about and who I thought cared about me. But who I realized did not care about me as much as I cared about them. I felt they turned away from me and so allowed themselves to emotionally dissociate themselves with me. I didn't feel like I fit in with them and they always told me they were busy but I would find out later that they hung out together. And after telling a few of them some rather personal things, they seemed to distance themselves even further, that probably hurt the most. Nowadays, I am numb. I go every week, see them every week, and know they dont care every week.

To me, it appears that many have a certain view of life and if you make them uncomfortable and really want to talk about some issues you are having they want none of it. They want to continue and pretend all is well when really they have many problems of their own. Sorry for the complaint I just needed to say that somehow. Thanks.

So to answer the question, I feel it at times, but only with this group.
 

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Yes. Life seems to go on just fine without me, which makes me feel more like an observer than a participant at times...
 
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And don't it make you sad to know that life
Is more than who we are
...from Name by Goo Goo Dolls

BUT!
and yes there is always one of them...

We are each a piece of life! :wink:
 
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I think there are some other threads on loneliness, depression and suicide. But I haven't seen one on alienation yet.

Honestly, these days I don't feel lonely or depressed. I prefer being alone as I really need the down time. and I don't feel depressed or all those things. I don't even feel numb/desensitized anymore but I have this growing feeling of alienation. I just feel alienated from things and people- like there is no connection. I see people here and there and I am seriously surprised when people greet me excitedly... which is rare anyway.

Not too sure or clear on my thoughts about this but would love to hear what you guys think about this
I think you are confused about your feelings.

If you were so alienated from people, why would you write about other people so much?

You, like me, are pretty high on the Fe scale, although I don't think you want to admit it to yourself. You want to be self-reliant and independent and to do your own thing, but until you make peace with other people, I don't think you'll ever stop posting on this forum. You post when stressed, and you are stressed quite often.

I think that out of all the posters on this forum, you are the one that I can relate to the most. You are a lot like my younger self. Whether you want to admit it or not, I really think you are a very disturbed person, and I think you need help.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
al·ien·ate (ly-nt, l--)

For me, lately I have felt alienated at my church, by people who I cared about and who I thought cared about me. But who I realized did not care about me as much as I cared about them. I felt they turned away from me and so allowed themselves to emotionally dissociate themselves with me. I didn't feel like I fit in with them and they always told me they were busy but I would find out later that they hung out together. And after telling a few of them some rather personal things, they seemed to distance themselves even further, that probably hurt the most. Nowadays, I am numb. I go every week, see them every week, and know they dont care every week.

So to answer the question, I feel it at times, but only with this group.
Jwing, thanks for sharing this. I know this is a vulnerable topic and i just wanted to let you know you're not alone in that. I went through a similar thing and it can be really hard when you say personal things (making yourself even vulnerable), and you get that kind of reaction

Yes. Life seems to go on just fine without me, which makes me feel more like an observer than a participant at times...
Thanks penchant- i think this post hits it on the spot. I think it's because I want to know I'm making a difference, but sometimes life seems to just go fine without me , making me feel more like an observer. Things will get better i guess once i settle down and develop more meaningful friendships i guess
 

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I've noticed with INFJs they have a lot to say and want to do humanity some good but can be rather fearful of being rejected and on the outside they may be open and accepting. On the inside is a cold iron of strong moral values of which for me I always frustrate but I think it's a TP vs FJ issue.
 

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These days, I prefer being alone as I really need the down time. I know I need the alone time, but sometimes I just feel so alienated from things and people- like there is no connection. I see people here and there and I feel like I am more an observer, but not part of things going on. and this frustrates me.

i think a part of this is because i just moved to a new place 1.5 months ago and i don't feel like there's much of a social /friendship community in my workplace and most people are simply busy with their own lives. I have made some friends during this time , and i see them regularly.. i know things will get better once i have a solid social network of support, but for right now i feel so alienated and yeah

Not too sure or clear on my thoughts about this but would love to hear what you guys think about this
Ok, you just completley edited your original post.

That's cheating. :tongue:

I hope things get better for you. I got this weird feeling that you are ignoring me, because you think I'm attacking you. I want to help you. I hope I'm not literally on your ignore list.:sad:
 

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I think SuperDuperMan is onto an important point here. Could it be that we INFJs tend to feel that we care more about others than they do about us? and that this can make us feel distanced and alienated in any relationship already from the start? I don't have this idea clearly thought out yet, but there seems to me to be some kind of difficulty in accepting ourselves, which feeds on the mismatch between our expectations of how people should treat us and what our own behaviour sets us up for.... I guess one could call it social maladaptivity...
 

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plus it would help if INFJ women could dress sexier/cuter kinda way. Mini Skirts, high heels the works.

I think SuperDuperMan is onto an important point here. Could it be that we INFJs tend to feel that we care more about others than they do about us? and that this can make us feel distanced and alienated in any relationship already from the start? I don't have this idea clearly thought out yet, but there seems to me to be some kind of difficulty in accepting ourselves, which feeds on the mismatch between our expectations of how people should treat us and what our own behaviour sets us up for.... I guess one could call it social maladaptivity...
 

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I really don't think that we care more about people than others care about us. I believe we think that, because we tend to pull ourselves away...we help them, but we won't let them in.
 
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I really don't think that we care more about people than others care about us. I believe we think that, because we tend to pull ourselves away...we help them, but we won't let them in.
Thanks! That's what I was trying to say... :blushed:
 
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