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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I was wondering. Do any of you INFJs out there ever feel difficulty just being yourself in all situations? Do you ever feel like you can pretend to be someone else or that you could act differently when with certain people or when others are watching? Are you a completely different person at home?

Where do you feel most comfortable being yourself? How genuine do you feel and do you ever feel outcasted?
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
I am always myself. Who else can I be?
All my feelings ,thoughts and ultimately any action or behavior, originates from within myself.
Only I can own it.

I present myself as myself to the world.
I go into modes as required.
It's true, but I mean more in the sense of being true to your nature. You know what I mean? :)
 

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It's true, but I mean more in the sense of being true to your nature. You know what I mean? :)

Yes I do.. :)

But My nature is to grow and learn. So today I might look and act different than I did yesterday as I work new information and perspectives into the framework.
I am not static, but I am consistent, if that makes sense.
 

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Well, I think here's the kicker; when we're alone, we act differently then when we're around other people. When we're alone again, we look back on when we were with people and think, "but that's not the way I usually act." Then we feel like we're being posers or something. I guess what I'm saying is, I see where you're coming from, but learning to "be yourself" around people is a trial and error sort of thing. And you are ALWAYS yourself, when push comes to shove. It's just the parts of yourself that you choose to reveal.
 

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It's true, but I mean more in the sense of being true to your nature. You know what I mean? :)
Hey. Don't worry.

If you are the sort of person to care about figuring yourself out, then I reckon you'll get there. And one day pretty soon too! :happy:



Why did I write that? It doesn't follow logically from what I read.

I am confused. But I'll leave it up cos maybe it was an intuitive response and was something worth saying.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Yes I do.. :)

But My nature is to grow and learn. So today I might look and act different than I did yesterday as I work new information and perspectives into the framework.
I am not static, but I am consistent, if that makes sense.
I love your way of looking at it. With me though, I find it so hard to act the same way with everyone. There are some people I'm more polite to, and other people like my friends who I am less emotional with. I'm more emotional with strangers, than with friends. I guess the more I know about someone, the less emotional I can act around them. Anyways, I digress...lol. The worst thing is when you act a different way with 2 different people and you're all in the same group. Like I guess I act more polite to my teachers and sometimes they want to join discussions I have secretly with my friends and then I just don't know what to do when that happens so I end up withdrawing from the conversation.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Hey. Don't worry.

If you are the sort of person to care about figuring yourself out, then I reckon you'll get there. And one day pretty soon too! :happy:



Why did I write that? It doesn't follow logically from what I read.

I am confused. But I'll leave it up cos maybe it was an intuitive response and was something worth saying.

I know you are right!
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Well, I think here's the kicker; when we're alone, we act differently then when we're around other people. When we're alone again, we look back on when we were with people and think, "but that's not the way I usually act." Then we feel like we're being posers or something. I guess what I'm saying is, I see where you're coming from, but learning to "be yourself" around people is a trial and error sort of thing. And you are ALWAYS yourself, when push comes to shove. It's just the parts of yourself that you choose to reveal.
I LOVE the point you are making. It is just that we have two states of mind, one on our own and one with people. Reflecting on the other state of mind while in the opposite state of mind (haha, if that makes sense) can be confusing.
 

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I try to be myself as much as possible, but sometimes this involves consciously chosen behaviors -- like smiling and making small talk, which doesn't come natural to me. Still I do it to show the person I really do like them and am interested in them.
 

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I was wondering.
Do any of you INFJs out there ever feel difficulty just being yourself in all situations?
Yes but I don't think it's type related.

Are you a completely different person at home?
Yeah, I open up and am a little more relaxed. I don't release fully while conscious at home though. Not in this time.

Where do you feel most comfortable being yourself?
I don't know. I really don't.

How genuine do you feel and do you ever feel outcasted?
I don't feel very genuine but others used to tell me I am. I feel that I am an underdog in relation to the ones with prestige as I am usually judged prematurely and dismissed by the narrow minds. My peers see me in a memory, though, and Yes I feel outcasted from time to time.
 

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I love your way of looking at it. With me though, I find it so hard to act the same way with everyone. There are some people I'm more polite to, and other people like my friends who I am less emotional with. I'm more emotional with strangers, than with friends. I guess the more I know about someone, the less emotional I can act around them. Anyways, I digress...lol. The worst thing is when you act a different way with 2 different people and you're all in the same group. Like I guess I act more polite to my teachers and sometimes they want to join discussions I have secretly with my friends and then I just don't know what to do when that happens so I end up withdrawing from the conversation.
OH!! I am not the same with everyone. But I am still a genuine version of me with everyone.. It's not that I am different.. I just keep some things away from some people and gladly give things to others that I don't to everyone else.
This is what I meant by the "required mode". :)
 

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I learn that you are always tested when you go out and face society. A lot of times, we will be around certain people and we act different then our usual self. When we are a lone, we reflect on what happen and we feel guilty or sad about it. Some people are aware of this while others are not. I learned that the true people in your life will love you, not fix you and accept you for who you are. It a changing process because we all want to fit in and be accepted since that is human nature, but being true to yourself, I feel, is the most importance.
 

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I like to think of "being yourself" as "being your best self." What I mean by best self is that you have a sense of what is "most you," and in a situation, your best self would act in the most ideal and also the "most you" way.

It's really hard to fully be yourself. You would have to know exactly who you are and act perfectly according to your ideals. This can take a lifetime to fulfill.
 

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Well, I think here's the kicker; when we're alone, we act differently then when we're around other people. When we're alone again, we look back on when we were with people and think, "but that's not the way I usually act." Then we feel like we're being posers or something. I guess what I'm saying is, I see where you're coming from, but learning to "be yourself" around people is a trial and error sort of thing. And you are ALWAYS yourself, when push comes to shove. It's just the parts of yourself that you choose to reveal.
Just curious, but is there a reason why you think that that's unique to INFJ's or frankly any personality type in general?
 
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