How Strengths Finder hasd helped me
Hi there,
Well, where to begin? That is a hard question to answer because I feel it has been SO beneficial and I don't want to miss anything out that might encourage someone else to take it and likewise benefit....
My Top 5: Intellection, Learner, Input, Futuristic, Strategic.
Developing sense of self through Clifton Strengths Finder: - I think all the time (Intellection). I find it hard to have too much going on, too many interactions with people, interuptions to thought processes etc. Hitherto I have been given a truth coach which says "Interuptions are a part of life, don't fight allow"... Yes - they are... but I, employing Strategy (my no. 5) and recognising the importance of trying to go WITH who we are, not against it, and not just flowing along with what everyone else might think is 'the way to be/deal with things' say - am saying 'why not arrange my life to suit intellection - making sure I have time to think every day, throughout the day?'
I have struggled with the place of all the things/goals/relationships/interests in my life and had already been wanting to be clearer about my unique purpose and calling.
Okay, maybe I need to begin with about 10 years back: I came back to the LORD and am a child of God through Jesus. That's most important because, as C.S. Lewis says "I believe in Christianity in the way I believe in the rising of the sun, not because I see it but because by it I see everything else."
Then, growth, growth, growth... relationship with God, overcoming temptations, experiencing different ministries, finding where my heart is, learning, reading, receiving sound teaching, sussing teachings out against the Bible myself, prayer, fellowship..... and on and on and on.
Then, about 3 years ago - introduction to David Riddell's Living Wisdom. Wow! He's a counsellor who teaches counsellors (and still counsels - in person or over the phone, even has clients ringing him from around the world). A very wise man. Gifted, and sharing that gift. [livingwisdom.co.nz]Living Wisdom School of Counselling - New Zealand[/url] . If getting teaching c.d.s I recommend starting with "Getting Back the Reigns of Your Life" and move eventually on to Goals and Enterprise, because that 5-day seminar really resonated with my wanting to move forward and walk in the purposes God has made me for. (By the way, I'm not talking 'blueprint theology' where christians feel they're walking a tight-rope with God and that if they don't choose some exact path that God supposedly has for them then they're failing. I'm talking about the freedom of choice we have within the greater purposes of God to find our niche).
Then, not detailing every help along the way, but honing in on the original question - 'how has the Clifton 2.0 StrengthsFinder helped you better develop your sense of self?'
It made me realise that these things are 'who I am', who I'm made to be. Honouring my makeup is good and not something to apologise for. Alligning these themes with God's overall purposes and my particular heart inclinations has enabled me to form a very clear picture of what I want to be doing in this current season and to have goals that are great but also, I believe, achievable in God.... (Of course Living Wisdom steps in alongside this with things like having goal posts, but of course not being enslaved to those goals... they are there to help me, but I can shift the goal posts myself, adjust my course if need be).
I've seen why things have been frustrating in the past as I've done too much extrovert-requiring activity, high interaction, busy type activities etc and even too many visits with friends etc. that meant I didn't have enough of what I call 'think space' for my makeup.
The idea with Strengths Finder is that you add skills and knowledge to your top themes and then they become strengths. Playing to my strengths and working out a kind of picture of what this season looks like for me and where I want to head has been helped so much by knowing myself in this way and knowing what sorts of things work AGAINST who I am. I now have a clear purpose, and things outside of that I have either eliminated or worked out ways to 'achieve them' more successfully. For example, I do really value my friendships, but if I try to regularly catch up 1-1 with each one every week or two, then there goes any free-time I had for my core purposes. I now 'pool' those catch ups to set gatherings where there'll be the opportunity to chat to one side 1-1 and really connect if certain friends or I feel we want to: at church, openday picnics etc. Otherwise it's the odd text, the odd phone call and the very odd arranged 1-1 catch up. This isn't 'mean' as a little voice in my head wants me to believe based on the apparent 'needs' of some of my friends (which might be to catch up way more frequently etc.), it's enabling me to live out a life that will give more to more people if I keep on track. True friends should be able to come to an understanding of this and celebrate where I'm at just as I want to celebrate the good things in their lives and encourage them to walk in who they are and fulfilling lives themselves. (If not then Living Wisdom truth coaches "Their response is their responsibility" and "I'm not in danger of being insensitive, but I'm in danger of being oversensitive" come into play.)
Not apologizing for who I am, not seeing them as 'faults' even if another person does because it's not how they work. (Likewise seeing the greatness of potential in each person as they are encouraged to go with who they are. Seeing that we are strong when we come together for a purpose/cause and be true to who we are - then all parts are performing their needed function and the body as a whole can function 'what is a body without an eye, a heart, a head? etc.')
Also recognising why some urges are so strong and dialling them down when appropriate - e.g. I have "Input" which likes to collect things, and input also likes to output i.e. find a purpose for those collected things. There is a real urge inside that says 'this will be useful one day, don't throw it out'! Knowing this about myself I have been able to let some things go (like a really old piano that my husband didn't want taking up space anymore) - and say 'it's just the input drive that makes me really want to hold on to this, I don't really need it and I can let it go'.
Instead of just having the heart inclinations and then using my skillset toward that goal, I can now pick routes that honour how I really need to operate to achieve those heart oriented goals. e.g. I previously used administrative and public speaking skills that I gained through education to try to effect change in the third world, and although I was somewhat successful external-results-wise, I was constantly feeling frustrated by the busy-ness, the nerves before speaking, not feeling like what I was doing was enough or feeling dissappointed not enough people were responding etc. Now I know that none of my top 5 are in the Influencing People leadership style and one way to deal with that would have been to get people alongside who did have something like the ability to "Woo" - win people to an idea etc. But also, that although it may not seem like such a direct result, I can effect lasting and positive change by applying myself to what suits my makeup - Writing (and Homeschooling as already intended).
As I have been operating in this new way I've experienced SUCH happiness and fulfillment!!! It's also easy to come back on track because I'm clear about what I'm doing, why, my own makeup etc.
The challenges I've faced so far are mostly around the relationships and 'worrying' about certain friends who have such a different outlook to me. But they are challenges to be grown through and to be overcome with love and truth and wisdom - not to influence me off course into being what I'm not and so being less effective (and less happy too).
Well, hope what I've written will be useful to someone!
Blessings,
MamaRach